Blanqeo
by THE KYO
Summary: Can Grimmjow really change? Why is the thought so impossible for Ichigo to comprehend? What happens when he accepts it? If they aren't fighting, what the hell could they possibly have in common. GrimmIchi. M for suggestive content. Part 2: Here comes Rukia, how will she help our favorite substitute soul reaper he feels more than a little strongly about a certain number 6?
1. Enamoro Conmigo

**Kyo** - So I'm finally uploading a new fic! Yay for me! Now I want you all to know that I started writing this **_months_** before the Winter War reached it's climax in the manga, so most of what happened will be ignored. Just think of this as an... alternate ending...? xD

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**Chapter 1 - Enamoro Conmigo. [Fall In Love With Me.]**

"_Kurosaki-kun_..." Orihime whispered, still very much out of breath from their recent kiss. Her soft gray eyes were filled with concern. Ichigo looked up at her, his hands still lightly holding her sides, inches short from being buried underneath the soft frilly material of her blouse. Ichigo broke from his recent daydream, looking down at the woman as if through fogged glass. His brown eyes were filled with apologies; he smiled warmly.

"Inoue... I told you, call me _Ichigo_." He said in return to her inquiry, hating how distant her voice sounded, the concern melting heavily from it. The girl blushed, turning her head; she gave a breathy laugh.

"_Ichigo_... what's the matter?" She lifted a small hand to his face, brushing back the orange strands from his forehead. "Why did you stop?"

He leaned into her touch as her hand moved over his cheek, nuzzling into her palm. Ichigo smiled softly down at the woman beneath him. "Sorry... I didn't mean to get distracted."

Orihime frowned, displeased. "You don't want to anymore?" Her small hand dropped from his face slightly.

He shook his head, lifting a hand to grab hers; he kissed the underside of her palm.

"Of course I do, Hime. I'm sorry, it won't happen again." He promised and she nodded absently, smiling at him with her kind eyes.

Ichigo wondered what he would be like if he didn't have Orihime. Those thoughts before, they were just insecurities, he was sure. Sometimes he doubted he was good enough for her. She was so kind and sweet, and always willing to help anyone, friend or foe. She cared about everyone equally. She especially kept a special place in her heart for Ichigo. He thought himself crazy that he was not able to notice it before. Her quiet affection always seemed to mesmerize himself, amazed that someone could care so deeply for him. He wished he could say the same for himself. She was so much better than him, he thought, surely she could have chosen someone better, someone more suited to her nature than he. But she didn't, she stood by him since the first time she said it; the first time she told him she loved him.

He remembered it clearly. After the gruesome war with Aizen, after all of the bloodshed and tears, things returned to normal, as they somehow manage to do. After all, the false Karakura town had provided a sufficient arena for their battle and, thankfully, no innocent human was harmed. All of the shinigami that had been stationed in Karakura town went back to soul society, leaving the respective humans to deal with their after battle scars on their own, promising to keep in touch with their representative every once in a while; to this Rukia and Renji had sworn an oath. A lot of people went missing arrancar, shinigami and the like - but everyone supposed their bodies would turn up sooner or later and as grim as it might have sounded at the time, it was the truth. Ichigo mourned the sight of the lifeless bodies carried into Seireitei by the fourth division officers, not believing that he had fought beside them only a few hours before. Then they had been so full of life... but Soul Society did not worry their heads too much about it though, since Aizen's pursuits were thwarted, the casualties were regrettable but somehow necessary, as Soi Fon, second division captain, announced. Ichigo supposed that he understood but that didn't lessen the pain or make it any more bearable to know that he had failed in his promise: to make sure that everyone returned... alive.

Shortly after the meeting to congratulate their victory, it was at that time, when everyone said their humbled goodbyes that Orihime pulled him aside. Ichigo, of course had no idea what for and the thumbs up Rukia threw the human girl as she left made the curiosity within the orange haired boy grow. But just as he was about to ask the girl what this was all about, she spoke up. Her voice was a little shaky, her knees a little wobbly, but she was determined.

"Kurosaki-kun... we've been through so much..." She started softly.

Ichigo tilted his head a little. "Yeah... that was a rough battle..." He shook his head wistfully, hoping to push some of the memories away. "Everyone did their part to make it a successful one." His features softened enough so that his normal scowl disappeared. Inoue nodded.

"And to think... this was all my fault..."

Ichigo shook his head, eyes widening. Surely she couldn't still think all of this was blamed on her... just because she had willingly agreed to leave with Ulquiorra... He voiced his negative, furiously believing that the war was bound to happen, with or without Orihime's initiative. Perhaps it was even **because** of her that they were able to win. Orihime nodded slightly, eyes still holding a shimmer of regret despite the smile on her face.

"Hearing it come from your mouth makes it better, Kurosaki-kun." She smiled up at the orange topped boy, whose features softened in return.

_Its OK, Orihime, just say it. _She mentally prepared herself, heart beating a million miles a minute. Then she started to get cold feet, worrying about the 'what ifs'.

_What if he doesn't feel the same about me? _

_What if he brushes it off as a joke? _

_What if he doesn't want to acknowledge me? _

_What if he ignores it? What if he refuses? _

_What if it's Kuchiki-san that he really likes? _

_What if I can't face him afterwards... What if... What if...?_

_What if he doesn't love me back?_

She shook her head, courage boiling. No, she didn't want to think like that, now nothing would get in her way. She was going to pull through, she had to... Kurosaki needed her... she could feel it. She was sure she was the one, the only one that could make him whole, make him feel. Make him smile. She believed that more than anything. It was a tough bet and Kurosaki was anything but gentle, but there was something within the boy's eyes that helped her to not turn away. That helped her find the words...

"K-Kurosaki-kun... I... I'm glad that we got the chance to be together so often." That wasn't what she had wanted to say. "If it weren't for the adventures you cause, I would be stuck at home with Tatsuki-chan. N-Not that I wouldn't want to spend time with her!" She quickly saved, waving away any feelings of remorse she might have been thought to have against her best friend. _This isn't going well_, she moaned inside of her head. Ichigo stared at the eccentric girl humorously.

"… I-It's just that…" She faltered, scratching her forehead, and then moving her hand to tuck a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all…

"Spit it out, Inoue, I haven't got all day." The representative shinigami laughed at the girl's unusual hesitant behavior, attempting to lighten the mood, even only a little. He was relieved when the fairy wielder smiled sheepishly.

"I love you, Ichigo." mouth moving without the words that exited it registering in her brain. Ichigo stilled, his eyes widening.

Orihime blushed deeply, covering her mouth with her shaky hands. She fidgeted with her hair before looking him in the eye again, to her surprise they were soft and welcoming, though slightly at a loss of what to do or say next. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out and he shut it, face glowing red. Orihime matched his blush with one of her own, unable to believe that she finally said it, surprised that he was speechless in return.

"I-I mean... um..." She scratched her arm. "I do... really... I h-have for a long time and I..." She breathed deeply. "I wanted, very much for you to know that. Um... I, don't want to be a burden on you... it's just..."

Ichigo stilled the girls rambling lips with his own; a small peck on the side of her mouth. When he lifted his head, both were blushing more than anyone thought possible. Orihime gasped slightly, pleasantly surprised.

Face beet red, Ichigo leaned towards the girl, "I'm glad you told me." He whispered before walking away.

That day had been the start of _something_... But Ichigo didn't know how to explain it. It wasn't magical; being around Inoue had been the same as always, though they stood closer to each other than before. Conversations with the eccentric girl still left the substitute shinigami highly confused and generally horrified. She cooked him meals, which he politely refused on account of his sensitive stomach and she quietly understood. In the end she would end up eating her own creations while he watched her savor her meal, complimenting herself on trying out new, different ingredients. Everything worked out well in the end.

But what was it about them that worked? Or made them work? What held this relationship together? What was so special about the two of them that actually allowed for their compatibility?

_Why are we together?_ His mind thought, suddenly, one day as he watched the girl shop for fabric to work with in her sewing club.

Ichigo had no idea. The truth of the matter was, he liked Inoue, a lot. He enjoyed being her boyfriend, making her happy, seeing her smile. But there was something that was missing... something he couldn't quite figure out. Something that, at the end of the day, left him questioning on weather or not he really, honestly loved Inoue romantically.

He loved her, of course, as a friend, but was that enough? As a person who had never been in love before, he couldn't comprehend what it was suppose to feel like. His father had often told him that he and his mother knew that they were in love because of the way they felt when they were around each other. But Ichigo had not the fondest idea of what that was suppose to mean.

When he was with the girl he felt as he always had; content, happy to be around someone who cared so much for him. But was that love? Was that the way his father felt every time he looked into his mother's eyes? How was he supposed to know the feeling if and when he felt it? He was loathe to ask his father these questions because the old lout was just as likely to coo at him and make weird faces as he was to help. Needless to say, Ichigo didn't need the aggravation. And there was no one within his small group of friends that he could really talk to about the matter.

Inoue though... she often told Ichigo that she loved him. He would smile warmly at her or kiss her gently on the cheek or nose and that was that. He never gave her a definite response, but she never dwelt on it. She never questioned it. He'd never been one to truly express his feelings and say what he wanted. In her heart she knew he felt an inkling of what she did... otherwise why would they be this way now? There was no doubt in her mind that Ichigo was _the one_. And when she decided he would be the one she gave her virginity too... she didn't even have to think twice. She knew this was what she wanted, she knew she wanted him and he wanted her. She knew it.

She just didn't expect him to have doubts... to be so hesitant. She'd often imagined this moment, in her dreams. A girl's first time was special... one that should be saved until you are with the person you loved, or so she was taught. Perhaps this was Kurosaki's first time as well, which would make it even more perfect in her eyes. Orihime longed to wipe the doubts from the mind of the substitute shinigami and if this was the only way, then so be it. She was willing to give, as long as Kurosaki was willing to accept.

_Please accept me..._

He still hadn't moved from his motionless stance and Orihime worried that he may have drifted off again, until the light in his eyes brightened again and he leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers. She sighed happily, not bothering to complain when rough, calloused, but some how gentle hands buried themselves underneath her shirt to wrap around her back; in search of the clasp that unhooked her bra. She blushed when the hook was undone, the pressure restricting her chest loosened. Ichigo stared down at her, frowning face serious, but endearing.

"Inoue..." It was like a question: _Do you want me to continue?_ His eyes were doubtful, but she misinterpreted the source of that doubt.

Orihime wouldn't dream of denying him. She nodded, opening herself to him, pulling off her own shirt and bra in the process. These three years had been some of the best of her life, save for the spring before high school she went fishing with her brother. The weather was chilly for the time of year and they didn't hook one catch, but being there with the person she loved made it all worth wile. Like now, being with Ichigo felt right, like he was the one for her, just as she'd always thought. She faintly thought of them growing old together, having children with bright hair and excited yes, with the spirit of their father but the beauty of their mother. Orihime wished for a life, unending and happy with Ichigo and hoped - hoped and prayed with all her heart - that he wanted the same. It would be very easy to bear his children, she decided forthrightly.

In the dim light she caught sight of the substitute shinigami's blush and mimicked one of her own. It was her first time being so forward. In spite of the confessions of deep love and devotion that she admonished on a regular basis. When it came to the physical aspects of their relationship, Ichigo was usually the first to initiate, though hesitantly, but he never pressured her into anything, something she was grateful for and, unsurprisingly, the trait sat very well with his character, always the gentleman... so to speak. She would remember later on a comment the Kurosaki made about her being too pure, even when she was in the company of fukutaicho Rangiku Matsumoto.

Feeling a little exposed an embarrassed; Inoue covered her breasts in modesty as the blushing shinigami leaned in for a slow, gentle, yet passionate kiss. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around the shoulders of her lover, his hips pinning her into the soft cushioning of her brand new futon bed, which Tatsuki had animatedly suggested that she christen immediately. Of course, being the _pure soul _that she was, Orihime had to look up the word and its definition. Her blush wouldn't fade for two days; she often berated her short haired friend for being so vulgar. Tatsuki was a girl; she should act like one more often. After today though, she thought mischievously, she probably wouldn't be able to look at the piece of furniture without a giggle bubbling to her lips.

A bout of dizziness distracted the young girl from her thoughts, when the male above her deepened the kiss, pushing her further into the mattress. She was afraid, but she also loved Ichigo, in doing this, she would prove it. She said the word - almost too often - now was the time to show it. After all, this was what the boy wanted, in order to take that next step, advance in the seriousness of their relationship, this is what couples did. This was what she needed to do, Orihime thought. Maybe then he would look at her differently, the way Renji looked at Rukia, or - dare she say - Ichimaru looked at Rangiku for the last time. That's all she wanted, to be beautiful in his eyes.

"Kuro- Ichigo-kun, I love you." She whispered as his gentle lips left her mouth and traveled down the side of her slender neck, dusting it with feather light kisses. He looked up into her lidded eyes slightly, a soft, curious smile on his lips.

"I know..." He replied in a low breath, kissing her cheek and resuming his actions. Orihime sighed, nibbling her lower lip.

It was alright, he did not have to say it, she thought. She would give him her all, offer her entire being to him, to the man that she loved, and prayed that he would do the same. He would show her, she would see... with her own eyes - rather than hear it with her ears, because words could be so empty sometimes - she would see how much he wanted her, how much he cared. How deep his love went...

* * *

Orihime woke to an empty bed. She reached out and felt the coldness of the sheets, at first she was confused, but further inspection of the clock told her that it was 9:43 am and even though both of them were in university, Ichigo still lived with his family. They would probably be worried about him, she reasoned. Besides, another thought occurred to the girl, he had a class some time around ten; she wouldn't want him to be late.

Plopping back down onto her bed she pulled his pillow close to her face and breathed in his scent. She couldn't describe it any farther than just being Ichigo. She smiled and buried her face deeper within the soft material. He was so close, but so far away, she wanted to kiss him, to wrap her arms around him and hold him close. Kurosaki meant so much to her, after all...

She loved him.

And last night they had consummated that fact by making love. It wasn't how she imagined, nothing at all like the movies Tatsuki forced her to watch and learn from. But it was sweet and very gentle, Kurosaki took his time and she was grateful to have shared such a wonderful moment with him... He showed her, and she was happy - although she had been terribly afraid as well. She couldn't really put a finger on her concerns, it was a feeling, that wouldn't go away, but she pushed it off, ever the optimistic. She didn't have anymore doubts, thankfully - from what she could see - neither did Kurosaki.

With her head still on cloud nine, Orihime dropped the pillow reluctantly and pulled the sheets around her nude form and shuffled to the bathroom. She was a little sore in places she'd rather not speak of, but a quick shower would do her well. If only she could have woken up beside him...

The young woman hopped out of the shower as soon as she was clean and shuffled through her drawers for a pair of underwear, until she caught sight of her calendar. It was Sunday. There were no classes on Sunday. Another wave of confusion hit Inoue before she shrugged.

"It's not like he left because he was ashamed, or something." Even as she said those words, something didn't feel right in her gut. She shoved at the obstinate feeling, nudging it against the farthest corner of her brain. She would not allow a fleeting suspicion to ruin her mood. Slipping into her underwear, Orihime stood to towel dry her hair, face in serious contemplation. Suddenly a brilliant smile broke through her pretty features.

"I'll just call him later, then I'll know everything's ok!" She said enthusiastically, throwing the damp towel to the floor and searching her desk for a pen, she withdrew one and doodled hearts around the day before. When she was done she leaned back and admired her work, heaving a deep sigh and the padded off into the kitchen to make herself a light breakfast. "I'm just being a worry wort; we shared something special last night. There's no way anything could go wrong now." Always the optimist, she resided on this thought and held it close, for fear of breaking her resolve.

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**Kyo **- Ok, ok, now before you complain, this *will* be an GrimmIchi, it's just the setup is going to take a lot longer. This time I really am going to take my time with this fic. That means no unnecessarily early updates... sorry. :( But in order to complete this fic at it's full potential, I need to take my time. You've all probably heard this before, but I'm trying something new here... the direction this fiction goes will take a - pleasant - turn. So please, be patient and I do intend to update regularly, just at my own pace. Look out for the next chapter!

**Chapter 2: Un Conocido Viejo**  
_Wherein a hero questions his doubts.  
A woman suffers._  
_And an old acquaintance is restored._

Now review!

feb475c2-f469-459d-b549-80efbe1125fd

1.03.01


	2. Un Conocido Viejo

A.N. - I know it's been a month, honestly, I know. This story moves fairly slowly and I have too take my time to edit it, that's why. Be patient with me, please? ;.;  
P.S. Keep in mind that this story was written AGES ago and the current events in the manga are being disregarded (but hot damn, didn't ichigo look delicious in his ninja shinigami form...)

Warning: Very emo Ichigo ahead.

**Chapter 2 - Un Conocido Viejo. [An Old Acquaintance.] **

_Wherein a hero questions his doubts.  
A woman suffers._  
_And an old acquaintance is restored._

She called again today, but he couldn't answer, he never could. His family always answered for him. He couldn't take it. There were a lot of things he could handle, plenty of obstacles he had been able to overcome. Ichigo faced death on more than one occasion, but he knew his limits. This was something he absolutely couldn't endure. So, he ordered Yuzu to lie for him, something he was loathe in doing but felt it was necessary. It only proved to show how much of a coward he really was.

"But Ichi-ni, why don't you want to talk to Orihime-chan anymore?" She asked, her blonde head poking slightly into the room, eyes filled with a slight worry for her elder brother. Ichigo noticed how much his little sister had grown, how much more of a woman she has become, but that could have been due to her role around the house. With their dad acting like an infant, she had no choice but to assume the motherly roll for them all. Ichigo sighed at the way she looked at him, however.

"I just... don't feel like talking..." He scratched his head and focused on a place in his room that wasn't his sister's eyes.

Yuzu paused, frowning, before nodding. "I'll tell her you can't come to the phone right now." Soon he heard the soft click of the lock on his door and the sound of her footsteps as she walked down the stairs. It was hard to do that to her and it made him feel worse because he put the burden onto his sister, but Ichigo was afraid.

_I'll make it up to her later._

Ichigo regret that he was forced to have someone with such a pure soul lie for him when he didn't have the courage to face his problem like the man he claimed to be. He felt horrible and dirty. Ichigo knew that it was not Orihime, her only fault was that she had loved him, unconditionally, and he manipulated that love, took advantage of it, and used her in the worst way possible. He could not stand to look at her, to talk to her, he felt too guilty. He was ashamed of what he had done and hid away like a child to brood upon himself. No one bothered him about it or asked the cause of his current mood, not his father, not Kon, no one. Karin seemed to understand, Yuzu was confused, but generally accepted it. It was all he could ask for…

_I hate myself, but I bet she hates me even more..._

Sleeping with Orihime had been mostly a spur of the moment decision. Now that he thought back on that night with a clear head, he realized that it had been perfect. Too perfect. She had been all too willing, open, and ready to give it all and he was all too enthusiastic to take.

"I'm sorry, Hime..." he whispered to no one in particular, sketching doodles into the textbook he was suppose to be studying from. He had thought focusing on school would be a sufficient distraction to lead his thoughts away from Inoue. He had been wrong. His mind was unwilling to give up on the situation. He cursed his brain for leading him into wayward and generally depressing thoughts, but knew it couldn't be helped; he was intentionally hurting someone who cared so much about him. The fact ate at his heart and nearly threatened to tear it from his chest. He knew that he would have to face Orihime sooner or later and couldn't fathom the outcome of the inevitable meeting.

_Why couldn't I just have said no? Why did I have to take it so far?_ Sleeping with Orihime had been one of very many mistakes he had made with the girl within the last few years. It was enough to just be close to her, it was enough to hold her hand and kiss her on occasion when he mustered enough courage to do so. It was enough, but then suddenly, that night, a few days ago, it wasn't. That night when she invited him to her apartment, he had to kiss her, he had to push farther, and he had to make love to her.

No, not love.

It was something much more empty than that. All of the love that she had for him, he had felt it. She had given the moment her all. Orihime had thought they had been making love; manifesting their feelings for each other into one intimate act that was suppose to bind them closer together. All Ichigo had been doing was having sex.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

He didn't regret it till afterwards, the shame so deep that he left quietly after he was sure the girl was sound asleep. What Ichigo couldn't figure out, however, was why he had gone through with it in the first place. Why had he done the deed when he knew beforehand that he was not emotionally attached to Inoue? He could hardly explain the reasoning within his mind. It was the heat of the moment? It was cliché, but it was also somehow the truth. In a way he wanted to see that if he did take their relationship to the next level, would he magically develop feelings for the eccentric brunette? The answer, he figured out, was a resounding no. The only thing he had felt as Inoue lay wrapped around him afterwards was disgust towards himself.

She was happy; he had been the cause of that. But now he didn't know what to do with himself. _Do I just break her heart after all of this time together?_ Laying his head down upon his desk, Ichigo released a great sigh and suddenly felt like kicking himself in the shin. If that's the case I should have broken up with her a long time ago. Stupid.

In the beginning, when the feelings were still one-sided between the two, Ichigo had been more than glad to allow them to develop into something more. He wanted the relationship with Orihime to work. He wanted to know the feelings that she experience towards him. Rukia had been the only person, outside of his family, that he had ever felt a strong emotional connection towards, even then it was only as an older sister. He vowed to be with Orihime and attempt a stable relationship that was built on something more solid than violence, unlike his relationship with Renji or Ikkaku. But then, more time passed and things were too much the same, but Orihime was happier than he'd ever seen her and he couldn't end that because of his selfish emotions.

"_So now you'll fuck over her heart after you toyed with her body... How very chivalrous of you, **King**_." The teasing voice inside of his head commented and Ichigo banged his head upon the desk, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't force the small voice in the back of his mind to be quiet because he knew that it had been right. It disgusted him. He had the chance to only remain friends with Orihime, he should have taken that opening and then he would have not been in this predicament.

She deserves so much better than me, but I ruined her... He thought moodily, glaring at the wood grain in front of his eyes with disdain.

Ichigo was exhausted, mentally and physically by the time he even wanted to look at the digital clock on the table near his bed. He had succeeded in avoiding Orihime for another day, it wasn't something he was supposed to be proud of, but silently he was. I'll have to face her someday though... But until that day came he would continue to brood upon himself, regretting everything he's done and hasn't done within the past three years.

* * *

Orihime hung up the phone and placed it on the receiver sullenly. That was the third time she called today and the third time she had been informed that Ichigo hadn't been able to come to the phone for some reason or another. It had been almost a week since she gave herself to him and now she was becoming desperately afraid. She didn't know what was going on, what Ichigo was thinking and she didn't allow her mind to wander that far for fear of what she might assume. It was difficult to breathe just wandering about what Ichigo and his feelings these last few days.

_Everything is fine..._

She needed to believe that, but the only way she would be able to was if she spoke to the one that gave her such heartache. It was becoming difficult to convince herself that everything was in fact fine, that the two of them were still completely in love. She wondered why Ichigo was so adamantly avoiding her... No. She knew he couldn't have been doing this on purpose. She _knew_ that when she called him, he had to be busy. Each time that she dropped by his house, he wasn't at home as his father or one of his sisters claimed. In the three years that they had been together, Ichigo had not once lied to her and she saw no reason for him to change.

_He loves me..._

He never said it, but she knew that he did, deep in her heart, she knew it. If he didn't then he wouldn't be with her.

Silent tears fell down the fairy wielders cheeks and she wiped at them quickly with the sleeve of her sweater. _Stop it!_ She reprimanded herself. _Don't be a baby. Stay strong... for Ichigo. He needs you, he wants you._ Suddenly she couldn't believe herself.

_If he loves me, if he needs me... why is he doing this to me? He promised... He promised..._

Inoue sank to the ground in her tears, the pan in her chest too unbearable. She breathed heavily as she cried, clutching feebly at the telephone cord. Wondering what the cause of Kurosaki's distant behavior was, Inoue allowed her mind to drift into a place she never wanted it to visit before, a place that made her heart sick and her stomach ache. _What if...? What if that was all he had wanted? What if I'm nothing to him now? What if he doesn't want to be with me anymore? What if I can never see him again...? What if...?_

The thoughts within her mind crumbled and she broke down even farther, burying her face into her hands. Orihime could never think that Ichigo, her Ichigo, the boy she had loved since high school, could ever be that way. If that was all he wanted, then he could have gotten it sooner... why waste three years? That's why she couldn't trust herself.

_What if he doesn't love me back?_

_

* * *

_

Ichigo glanced disinterestedly at his curtains as they blew with the night wind, lost in thoughts of Orihime and how much damage he was doing to the girl and their relationship.

_Knowing Hime, she'll probably just laugh it off and forgive me for it later. She's probably thinking something awful right now..._ He guessed and his permanent frown grew deeper. If he was any type of man, he knew that he should grow balls and just call her, if only to apologize and clear things up if needed. The thought made him shrink away into the confines of his mind, attempting to push the thought out of his head. Orihime was a friend, closer now than ever, he didn't know why it was suddenly so hard to talk to her, just because they had sex, it shouldn't change anything.

But it did.

_Everything's changed._

Gaining the courage he should have had days ago, Ichigo stood up and headed downstairs for the telephone. Days before he unplugged the one that had been in his room. Thankfully his father had been with a patient at that moment, Yuzu at his side helping him for whatever, so there had been no surprises from the old man. Ichigo wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers and picked up the handle, dialing the number he had memorized months before. After several rings the answering machine picked up. Kurosaki took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh, waiting for the beep at the end of the cheerful message.

"Oi, Inoue... Sorry about this week. I've been... _busy_." He lied, shuffling from one foot to the other, not in control of his nerves. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just... we should talk in person. Come by tomorrow afternoon, after class... Uh, see you." He hung up quickly and tried to slow the frantic pace of his heart, rejoiced that the hard part was over... for now.

* * *

Orihime shook violently and clamped her fists over her ears, realizing how much she truly loved Ichigo, the mere thought of him wanting someone else giving her an anxiety attack. She tried to slow down her breathing some so that she might not pass out from its irregularity. She was nearly back to just crying normally when her phone rang, she looked up at it from her place on the floor, hiccupping with her tears. She couldn't possibly answer it like this. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand and forearm, sniffling and coughing slightly. By the time she stood, face nearly dry, the answering machine had already picked up the phone for her.

"Oi, Inoue..."

She clutched at her chest upon hearing Kurosaki's voice, staring at the machine in shock until the message was over. The girl didn't know what to think, she couldn't really tell by the sound of Ichigo's voice, it sounded irritated as usual but tinted with sadness. He apologized for hurting her and she had a feeling that everything was going to be ok as soon as they had the chance to talk to one another. She didn't need to keep worrying herself... _Everything is going to be fine._

But a place in her heart told her otherwise. It felt as if someone had tied a knot in her artery and her heart wasn't getting the blood it needed. Despite her hope, it hurt and she couldn't place a finger as to why. _It'll be ok._.. She tried to believe it, but it wasn't convincing. For the first time in a long time, Orihime wasn't looking forward to going to see Ichigo, she was afraid for her life.

This wasn't how it was suppose to be. They were supposed to be happy, together, in love. Inoue spent time around his family, they loved her and the feeling that she was stricken with when she could not say 'And so does Ichigo' is what scared her to death.

"He doesn't love me." She finally admit to herself, out loud, the sullen words vibrating off of her empty walls. She sank down onto the floor and began to cry, this time in ernest, not holding back.

* * *

On the way back to his room, the shinigami picked up one of the cold dinner rolls from that night. He hadn't bothered to eat because he was so troubled and even still he wasn't hungry but he felt it would be a good idea to eat something before he went to bed that night.

He was going to talk to Orihime tomorrow. He had to fix this problem before he made it worse than he already did. Shaking his head, Ichigo went up the stairs to his room but was stopped short of opening his door by his father who yelled up at him from the bottom of the stairs.

"Ichigo? What are you doing?" He shouted in a deep, commanding voice.

Taking the roll out of his mouth, Ichigo yelled back. "Nothing, why?

"Daddy needs your help son!" His tone changed drastically to the voice that Ichigo was more use to hearing. "Can you help me move this patient? Yuzu's too small and I don't want to damage my little angel." He could hear Yuzu giggling in the background. "If you do it, I'll give you candy." He offered. Ichigo rolled his eyes and headed back down stairs, pushing past his father who extended his arms to hug him in thanks.

Since the war, everything between his family had surprisingly gone back to normal. Ichigo thought it was going to be a weird, tense situation since finding out his dad had been a shinigami as well. The captain part had just been a bonus to add to his surprised confusion. Since then Isshin had offered many reasons why he had kept the fact away from his son, but Ichigo refused them all. It didn't really matter; he had been keeping his soul reaper secret hidden, although not hidden very well, from his dad also. It was just a fact - another irritating quirk - about his dad that he had grown use too. And after the war, Isshin reverted back to his old self, with his tacky clothes and stupid beard, Ichigo would have been worried to see anything change. Though none of this he revealed to his father, for fear that he might say or do something stupid.

Walking to the back of the house where the clinic was located, Ichigo's father led him to one of the rooms that was closer to the opening of the small hospital. Ichigo looked inside and nearly felt his jaw drop. He resisted the urge to turn and punch his grinning oaf father square in the nose.

What his father failed to tell him was that the patient was nearly 400 pounds and wanted the man carried from one room to the next. Isshin pat the orange haired shinigami on the back, pushing him into the room.

"Don't make that face, son. This will be good exercise!" He chirped happily, walking over to the bed that the patient was about to destroy. The man lying on the bed breathed heavily through his mouth, making a small rasping noise, looking at Ichigo expectantly and with pleading eyes. Ichigo sighed and mentally prepared himself for the bodily strain.

Once the patient had been successfully, albeit clumsily moved, Ichigo doubled over, hands on his knees, gasping for air. Isshin watched him with a grin, panting and wiping his face with a napkin he retrieved from his coat pocket. After catching his breath and punching his dad in the face for attempting to give him the offered candy, Ichigo finally headed upstairs to his room, Yuzu promising to bring him up some tea later. He refused the offer, however, not really in the mood for tea. Faintly he heard his dad weeping to some invisible figure - probably kneeling at the ridiculously sized photo of his mother - asking why his son was so ungrateful. Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes as soon as he made it into his room.

His room was darker than when he'd left it to make the call to Orihime, showing how much of his time his dad had stolen. Ichigo closed his door and sighed into the room, scratching his head. Now what? He wasn't ready to sleep, though his body was dead tired. He knew his mind wouldn't let him sleep for long. Vaguely he wished that a hollow or two would appear, then he wouldn't have to wish for a distraction for his mind to focus on. But it seemed that lately, attacks had been less frequent. Generally speaking, since the war, hollow activity had decreased immensely, that is to say that the more powerful spirits seemed to stay at bay while weaker hollows favored the human world as their hunting ground. It was nice to not have to worry about the safety of those around him, but Ichigo had to admit, at times like these he missed the rush of adrenaline it took to cut down a monstrous hollow. It was therapy and he was more than overdue for a session.

Sighing his lack of anything to occupy himself with, Ichigo began to make his way towards the bed; the least he could do was lie down and stare at the ceiling wishing for sleep and never having it granted. His mind had been hard at work all day, trying to think of a reasonable solution for his current problem with Orihime, right now he just wanted to stop thinking, if only for a moment pretend like everything in his life hadn't been turned upside down. Suddenly he stopped in mid step, feeling the prickle of eyes watching him. Turning to face his open window, the substitute shinigami eyed the dark figure on his window sill, squinting to make out the face of the shadowed person. When he realized who he was looking at, Ichigo gasped in horror before narrowing his eyes in hatred.

"Shinigami..." The all too familiar voice breathed and Ichigo attempted to quell the erratic beating of his heart.

* * *

**Kyo **- Cliffhanger, how I love you so. Drama and sappy woman feelings... What have I done? D: Someone read the next preview.

**Urahara **- Ara ara...

_Wherein ones patience is tested._

_A favor is asked._

_And a father shows grace._


	3. Sea Usted Generoso

**Kyo** - Why, yes, I am alive! :D I just forgot to udpate this story for a few months... heh... Again, the plot to the story moves along slowly so be patient, things will speed up a little by the 5th chapter. The idea for this story is unique, kinda, and I wanted to make sure I got it right.

P.S. Don't feel bad if you laugh at this chapter, it pleases me that you are amused by my cheesy humor. :D

* * *

**Chapter 3 - Sea Usted Generoso, No Piense Solamente En Sus Defectos. [Be Generous; Don't Think Only Of His Faults.]**

_Wherein ones patience is tested._

_A favor is asked._

_And a father shows grace._

Ichigo glanced frantically around the room, brown eyes searching for the stuffed lion that had hidden himself away for fear of his recent mood and Yuzu's crafty grasp. When the figure at his window started to laugh softly. Ichigo cringed away because, even now, he hated the sound. It brought back memories of blood and horrible death in Hueco Mundo. It made him remember the broken promises and all the lives that were lost as a result. It ground on his nerve endings sending an unreachable fear into his belly.

The orange haired teen cursed; in his human state he would be most vulnerable. He pat at his clothing, coming up empty handed as he searched for the substitute badge he used sometimes as a replacement for the modsoul.

"What are ya looking for, shinigami?" He heard the voice practically purr from the corner. The sound flared on his nerves and the teen quickly sent a glare to the intruder.

"Shut up," he growled. _Fuck..._

Warily keeping an eye on the shadow, Ichigo continued searching for his badge but the device wasn't anywhere on his person; Ichigo couldn't remember where he last left it at that moment either. His heart stilled completely when his visitor lifted his hand and held his prize stiffly between his fingers. Kon trembled visibly, his little toy eyes pleading for Ichigo to rescue him; he dared not speak, for fear that the small action would cause the male to do something brash, like rip him to pieces, for example. Ichigo licked his lips, looking up from Kon's shaking little stuffed toy form to the man that held him in his grasp.

"Let him go." He demanded and the fingers around the flat lion head tightened. Kon blubbered incoherently and Ichigo vaguely heard the words 'help', 'please' and 'don't let him kill me'. Kon had every right to be frightened, though he would never admit to himself that he could very well empathize with stuffed lion at that moment. Ichigo thought the man in front of him to be dead, following the same fate as his Arrancar brothers. His, though Ichigo had been the one to defeat the male, had been one of the many bodies that hadn't been accounted for. Sereitei questioned him, their voices doubtful, but he was sure that the man was surely dead or dying - He had stopped Nnoitorra from killing him but after Kenpachi showed up, it all turned into a blur. For all he know, the espada could have been caught in the backlash of the fight. Never, in a million years did he think he would be staring at the sixth once again.

The former - former because there was no arrancar, Aizen or Las Noches left - espada laughed again and Ichigo took a step back as he stood and walked out of the shadows. "Scared, shinigami? Not so tough without yer little toy." Ichigo's eyes narrowed and he hated the fact that he was so weak right now.

"Shut up," He spat out vehemently again and his glare deepened as Grimmjow looked down his nose at him. "Why the hell are you here? Why the fuck are you still alive?" The reflexive grin served to do nothing more than irritate him as the blue haired arrancar provided no further answer. "Answer me, damn it!" Grimmjow just continued to stare at the boy in amusement, laugher behind his blue eyes.

"Ya've grown up quite a bit since the last time I saw ya, eh shinigami? Big and bad, thinking you can scare anybody you like." Ichigo's glare intensified but it did little - if anything at all - to ruffle the man. His greater horror, however, came when Grimmjow began to toss Kon up and down in the air like a ball.

The teen's hands balled into tight fists and his body tensed, waiting to react if need be. All the other times he had been faced with the espada, he had attacked immediately, Ichigo had been, sorry to say, caught of guard... twice. Before he had underestimated Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques, not this time.

"If you hurt him," he began tersely. "... I swear I'll finish what I started in Hueco Mundo."

After a moment, he snorted and said, "Calm down, boy, I'm not going to hurt you or you stuffed thing." Grimmjow flung Kon around in the air haphazardly, causing the mod soul to whimper and tears to stain the brown material of his cheeks.

"Liar!" Ichigo hissed, raising his guard a couple more notches. Grimmjow sighed, dropping Kon to the floor with an unsympathetic thump. The little animal jumped up as soon as he hit the carpet and dived for Ichigo's arms, wailing out the shinigami's name in terrified woe. Ichigo caught the body of the toy in mid leap and shoved his fingers into the small opening of the mouth, retrieving the small pill lodged there and popped it into his mouth. His body fell backwards and he stood his full height in his Shinigami form, hand already reaching behind him to grab the hilt of Zangetsu. Kon looked up at the scene with Ichigo's eyes and surveyed the dynamic of expressions on the two male's face. While Ichigo seemed utterly enraged, Grimmjow couldn't have looked calmer. The mod soul frowned again, close to tears and hid away within a corner in Ichigo's room.

Ichigo positioned his feet into his stance and swung Zangetsu from behind his shoulder, angrily calling out his bankai. As he transformed, Gimmjow stared at him with only half interest and took a step back towards the window. _Shit... he's getting serious. _"Look, Kurosaki, I didn't come here for a fight." He warned.

Ichigo snorted. "You sneak into my room and threaten Kon without expecting a fight. Pfft, give me a break, asshole." Grimmjow tried to open his mouth to explain some more but Ichigo heaved his sword, causing him to lose his balance and stumble backwards out of the window. The substitute Shinigami walked over to the opening in the wall and peeked down at the espada. If he wasn't so pissed, he could have laughed. Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques was trapped, struggling to wedge himself from the grasp of two very overgrown bushes that Ichigo had promised to trim a few weeks ago.

"God damn it, Kurosaki!" He shouted up into the window, face red with anger. After finally pulling himself free, he stood and walked into the light of the street lamp, waiting and picking leaves and twigs from his clothes. Ichigo took that as bait and called forth his hollow mask, sweeping down into the street and swinging his blade down across the chest of the former sexta. Grimmjow slapped the blade away from his body, causing the orange haired soul reaper to stumble to the side.

Ichigo growled and lifted his sword upwards, simultaneously screaming, "Getsuga Tenshou!" The attack was dodged easily and the action caused Ichigo to vaguely remember that the last time he had met the hollow in battle, it was no walk in the park. He was fighting for his life. But somehow he thought, since defeating Aizen - or even Ulquiorra-, this would be a piece of cake. Perhaps he was out of practice? Lazing around for a good part of the past three years may have taken it's toll, but he wouldn't let Grimmjow know that. The arrancar glared at him, a familiar frown on his face, but he did nothing more. Ichigo paused suddenly, directing a strange look at the male behind his mask. "Oi!" he shouted. "Why aren't you attacking me?"

Grimmjow shrugged airily and leaned back against the lamppost.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes and lifted his sword to point straight into the chest of the espada. "Take out your sword, transform into your release form, fight me properly, damn it!"

The teal haired hollow shifted his weight casually from one foot to the other and pretend to study his nails. Ichigo made another low grumbling sound in his chest and he cursed the man in front of him for his mockery. He prepared for another attack when Grimmjow spoke.

"I told you, I didn't come to fight you, Shinigami." He muttered lazily, placing his hands in the pockets of his jeans and- Jeans? Ichigo let his anger subside a fraction and really looked at the former espada and noticed what he had failed to upon seeing the male in his room. There was no bone jaw covering his face, he didn't wear the hakama and half haori that he was use to seeing the sixth espada in, but now he wore faded blue jeans that looked like they belonged to someone else, a dark colored t-shirt underneath a jacket that looked nearly black. If Ichigo wasn't in his right mind, he would have assumed that the man was human. He lowered his sword and stepped back, allowing his hollow mask to break off in pieces from his face.

"What the hell is this?" He asked suspiciously. "That's a gigai! Where did you get it from?" Though it was quite redundant to ask the question because there was only one person in Karakura that could make the false bodies and would willingly - and probably with his own personal goals - give one to the former espada. He could see the irritating shop owner now, giving him a weird look and snickering at him from behind his stupid fan. Ichigo silently vowed to cleave Urahahra in two with Zangetsu the next time he saw the blonde male, right after he gave him a reason for helping the hollow in front of him. .

Grimmjow refrained from answering the question, making the judgment that Ichigo wasn't as stupid as he looked. After witnessing the change in facial expressions from the boy - the subtle realization within his eyes - he smirked carefully and considered praising him for his smarts. "I'm here to make peace with you, so to speak, Kurosaki." He offered instead with a small grin. "You owe me."

"I don't owe you a damn thing." Ichigo spat, guard rising once more. He knew he could not trust the man and wondered why Urahara would do him the favor of allowing him to use a gigai. Maybe he should have gone back with the rest of Soul Society...

In a move so quick, Ichigo barely saw it, the espada who was a few feet away from him now only inches separated them. The blue haired hollow glared down at him from his full height and Ichigo raised his zanpakuto once more, the anger in those blue eyes causing a thread of fear to wind around him.

"You owe me a hell of a lot, you piece of shit soul reaper. It was because of you I missed out on the best part of the war, because of you I was left alone in that stupid ass desert, not even able to hear what the fuck was going on outside. Do you know how much I wanted to see that bastard Aizen die? Do you?" He seethed, anger rolling off of him in waves and Ichigo felt crushed by it, it was almost as bad as the feeling of his reiatsu, he felt as if his body would snap under the pressure. Just what kind of an artificial body did Hat 'n Sandals lend him?

Ichigo nearly buckled to his knees but managed to stay upright for the most part and glare angrily up at Grimmjow in defiance. When the man was done with his miniature rant, he cocked his head to the side and said, "So?"

Grimmjow closed his eyes and turned away slightly as if to calm himself. Ichigo could almost see the rage building within his now human features. He wondered, however, how much of it would build until the male crumbled with fury. The sixth espada never was good with patience, he remembered bitterly.

"So what if I was the one to kill him? What fucking difference does it make?" Questioned the teen angrily. Grimmjow could feel the old bitterness from the fight, at him not being able to join it. He grabbed the orange haired male in front of him by the fabrick of his black hakama and sneered in his face.

"It matters because I should have been the one who killed him. You don't even fucking know what the hell he put me through in that shithole of a place. You can't even fucking imagine what it was like knowing you could beat the shit out of someone but unable to do so because of some god damn hallucination given off by a fucking sword. Given the chance I could have murdered Aizen." Ichigo highly doubted the statement but was some how curious to what the man was saying. He remembered one of the captains mentioning Aizen's zanpakuto's released state and how he had never seen it before. They said it gave him the advantage in battle, but that didn't mean he was any less difficult to defeat. The man, as he later learned, had a plethora of tricks up his crafty little sleeve... his zanpakuto had just been the beginning.

Grimmjow released the boy with a hard sigh and stepped away from him. He ran his fingers through his unruly teal hair and sighed again. He looked worn and tired with heavy bags under his eyes. Ichigo eyed him through his scowl trying to understand the situation, hurting his brain from thinking so hard. As of now he had been in Grimmjow's presence for a little over twenty minutes, but neither of them was bleeding. Grimmjow wasn't laughing maniacally with Pantera unsheathed and Ichigo wasn't laying in a crater with his body broken to all hell. All of his previous encounters with the male had proven quite violent, now, however, it was different. He really couldn't understand it.

"What are you doing here?" He asked again, this time a fraction more calmly. It took Grimmjow a while to finally turn back to him and give the boy an answer. He looked hesitant, as if he had something to say but didn't know how to tell the teen. Finally he rubbed the side of his face and let out a heavy sigh.

"Forget it. " He sighed, already beginning to turn away from the redhead. "I should have know that guy with the stupid hat was wrong about this." He shook his head and started off in the direction of said man's shouten. Ichigo frowned curiously, wondering what he meant.

"Oi! What do you mean Urahara was wrong? He told you to come here?" It was highly probably and he couldn't put anything past the shop owner. The man would send an assassin to his door, thinking it was all in good fun. Meanwhile Grimmjow paused in his stride and turned to face the teenager once more, his scowl of frustration still on his face. Ichigo dared to step in front of the male, somehow sensing he wasn't as much of a threat as he thought at first, but he was still wary. It had been three years since he's seen the male and he didn't think anyone like him would forgive their enemy and quit being a bloodthirsty murderer cold turkey.

"Why are you here?" He asked for the third and hopefully the final time. The teal haired man inclined his head some before answering.

"Stupid hat guy won't let me stay at his shop. Says I'm bad luck, doesn't want me ta murder him in his sleep or some shit… Said you'd let me stay here." He smirked as he finished, loving the way the boy's brown eyes flashed from surprised to furious.

Ichigo tried to hold his anger in. What made Urahara think he could just volunteer him unwillingly for something like this? Did he have a large 'free hotel' sign hanging out of his window. He was glad to get rid of Rukia hanging around his closet and now….

"No." He murmured furiously. Ichigo changed his mind; he was going to cleave Urahara along with his stupid candy shop in two.

Grimmjow lifted a challenging eyebrow. "No?" He questioned, though he sounded just a little hurt. Just a little. He had - in a way - expected the male to turn him down. He had every reason to.

"Fuck no." Ichigo enunciated, shaking his head back and forth. "No… no… no no no, NO!" He shouted. "You have to be fucking kidding me. Fucking hell no!"

The blue haired hollow's eyebrow's shot up in surprise. "It's a simple request, shinigami." He explained, smirking a little, not so put off by the soul reaper's answer.

Ichigo cringed and flexed his fingers around the hilt of Zangetsu, contemplating on weather or not he wanted to chop the man in front of him into pieces as well. He decided against it, however, when the light from his porch turned on and out of his front door stepped his father… wearing full red footie pajamas with what looked like pink and green bears scattered all over them. Ichigo groaned as Isshin rubbed at his eyes mumbling then turned his attention towards the two standing in the street. His eyes widened a fraction before they narrowed and he placed his knuckles over his fleece clad hips. He looked very upset.

"Ichigo!" He yelled through the night, voice loud enough to wake the dead, Ichigo thought. The substitute soul reaper whimpered in embarrassment and hung his head as his father shouted at him, demanding to know what he was doing out at this time of night with 'some stranger'. Ichigo took a deep breath.

"Dad, go back in the house, I'm fine!" He screamed back, but the elder Kurosaki didn't budge from his place at the door. He stamped his foot and pointed at the ground in front of him.

"You get over here now, young man; you and you little friend." He wagged a finger at Grimmjow who sputtered a bit in shock.

This is Kurosaki Isshin? From what Urahara described of him, this was nothing close to what he imagined the ex -shinigami to be like. He held back a snort as Ichigo glared back at him and reluctantly dragged his feet over to where his father was standing. Grimmjow sauntered over as well, none to thrilled with the man's current mood but thinking that perhaps since he wasn't able to win over the son, he could get through to the father. Isshin crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the two males, recognition flashed across his eyes briefly as he looked over Grimmjow, but that was about it.

"Now…" He started slowly, in a sugar sweet voice. "Ichigo, you know I am a very lenient parent. I even allowed you to stay here, rent free as you commute to school. So tell me, my beautiful boy, why must you cause so much noise just to greet a friend." He motioned to Grimmjow who snorted and mumbled under his breath. Ichigo threw a glare at him before turning back towards his father.

"Dad… you can't tell me you don't know who this man is." He gestured vaguely at Grimmjow and his father's eyes darted towards the espada for a split second before narrowing back at his son.

"Of course." Ichigo gritted his teeth and held back the curse that threatened to fall from his lips at his old man's idiotic behavior.

"Then you would know that he is not nor has ever been my friend." Isshin frowned at his son and then praised Grimmjow with a peculiar stare. Before either the ex-espada or the substitute shinigami knew what happened, Isshin violently head butted his son's forehead. After the orange haired male stumbled to the ground a few feet away, Isshin stood up and laughed heartily.

"No wonder you lost to this guy so many times! You won't get anywhere with reflexes like those!" He chirped happily, undeterred when said son raised a finger from his place on the ground. The older man threw an arm around Grimmjow's shoulders as the arrancar gapped at the scene, chuckling nervously.

"Sorry if my idiot, darling son hurt your feelings, mister. He can be awfully dense sometimes." He dragged the blue haired hollow into the house, leaving his own son sprawled out on the ground in the front of their home.

**

* * *

Kyo** - This was very silly, but highly probable... Isshin's wierd behavior will be explained... o.o Hooray for footie PJ's! :D

**Szayel Apporro** - ((clears throat))

_Wherein peace is made.  
An enemy is tolerated.  
And ones heart is broken._


	4. No Estas Enamorado

**Chapter 4 - No Estas Enamorado Con Ti. [I'm Not In Love With You.]**

Wherein peace is made.

An enemy is tolerated.

And ones heart is broken.

* * *

Ichigo walked into his home with a grimace that hadn't been wiped off since the night before. His fury grew tenfold compared to a few moments ago when he opened the door to his room. All of a sudden it seemed very cramped inside of the small space. The reason for this was probably because of the extra bed that had mysteriously appeared on the opposite side of his own bed. Though it would be a bit far-fetched to say the piece of furniture 'mysteriously' appeared, he knew just who was responsible for this.

"_IIIIICHIIIIIGOOOOO_!" Shouted the perpetrator and Ichigo ducked swiftly to evade a roundhouse kick to the face. The old man was switching up his tactics, something he would applaud, if it didn't irritate him so much. When his father lifted himself up off of the ground, goofy grin in place, the orange haired teen's frown grew deeper.

"What the hell is this?" After picking himself up from the ground last night and trudging into the house he overheard his recklessly impulsive - much like himself - father accepting the former espada's proposition to stay with them. Even Ichigo couldn't see the harm in allowing a person to stay a few days if they were terribly in need of the shelter, regardless if they were an enemy or not, but his father made it seem as if the blue haired male was going to be living with them for an extended period of time and viewed the man as anything but a threat. Perhaps the fact that Grimmjow attempted to kill Ichigo on several different occasions never registered within the former shinigami's small brain. Isshin simply laughed his loud, boisterous, annoying laugh.

"I picked up a few things for our visitor." He exclaimed. Ichigo was not amused.

"Care to explain why he has to stay in my room with me?" As always, Ichigo retained the impeccable patience he had with his father... for now. The father of the orange haired male frowned.

"Well where else could he have gone. It wouldn't be proper to have him room with Yuzu-chan and Karin-chan and I don't think Grimmjow would appreciate my loud snoring at night." He reasoned, large smile never leaving his whiskered face. _Plus you're the only one who could handle him if he got out of hand_, he added silently. "Besides, I think the two of you are going to get along great." Isshin chirped, skipping down the hallway and past a curious faced Yuzu. She gave her brother an apologetic look before shrugging and heading downstairs after her father.

Ichigo entered his room and slammed the door shut, glaring at the new article of furniture that now adorned his room. How he managed to get caught up in this little predicament, he couldn't particularly grasp, but he could say one thing in his defense at least, this wasn't going to be the least bit enjoyable. Isshin had admit to knowing what the blue haired male was and still is and gave no more than a second thought to it after readily inviting him to their home. Not even when Ichigo had begged and pleaded, telling him of all the things the arrancar had done both in the human world and in Hueco Mundo, Isshin just shrugged it off. It irritated Ichigo; feeling as if everyone knew something that he didn't. He almost felt wrong for worrying, but it was the right thing to do, if he didn't then who would? Not his father, that's for sure.

"He doesn't seem that way now... maybe he's changed." The man replied and Ichigo remembered scoffing and turning away. _What an idiot_, he thought bitterly of his father.

Speaking of his visitor, Ichigo realized he hadn't seen the blue haired male since earlier that morning before he had to leave for school. Not knowing where the man was unnerved him but it wasn't like he could got out and follow him around to make sure he didn't destroy and/or murder anything or anyone in sight. The gigai Urahara gave the espada cloaked spiritual pressure... and god knew what else, he made a mental note to drop by Urahara's Shoten the soonest he had the time to, he and the Mr. Hat and Sandals had an overdue conversation regarding his lack of judgment. Ichigo couldn't wait to laugh at the man's excuses. Turning over to his side, Ichigo reached for his remote control and flipped on the TV. If he's out there, there has to be something on the news by now to tell me where he is and who he's killing.

The substitute shinigami flipped through channel after channel but found nothing but children afternoon programs, a variety cooking show and the only news show that was on, their main story was focused on a pop superstar's latest stalker scandal. He stared at the screen for another few moments before sighing and turning it off. Something's wrong... If Grimmjow was still alive, then there was no reason why he shouldn't have been out causing trouble for someone, namely him.

**Trouble**. That was all the espada had been since the Kurosaki met him nearly four years ago.

* * *

Isshin rubbed at the back of his neck and greatly accepted the mug of steaming coffee that his youngest daughter offered him. He gave her one of his smiles and patted her head before sitting down on the couch, watching her scamper off into the kitchen in her miniature version of a nurse's uniform. Isshin grinned to himself more and took a sip from the steaming cup. Promptly he spit out the dark liquid, managing to soak himself and part of the couch.

"Yuzu, angel, I think you forgot the cream... and sugar." He pouted into the cup, wiping his tongue with his tie. A patient 'tsk' came from the kitchen where the young girl was tinkering with a few pots and pans.

"No, daddy, no sugar or milk in the middle of the day; you know how it upsets your stomach." She said in a tone that was years too mature for her age. Isshin frowned, sinking into the pillows of the sofa and sulked, placing the cup on the coffee table and crossing his arms over his chest like an insolent child.

"But I want sugar..." He mumbled. Suddenly he was greeted with the sight of a more than irritated Grimmjow walking through the door. The man glanced around and noticed the older shinigami pouting on the living room couch. He didn't plan to stay too long and thought it to be no harm if he sat on the couch and waited with his enemy's father. Isshin looked up and grinned at the blue haired hollow.

"Been keeping busy?" He directed towards Grimmjow who frowned in confusion.

"Meaning?" He sighed as he finally bent to sit down on the coffee colored sofa. Isshin chuckled mysteriously.

"You know Urahara has told me everything."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm, and it's all fine and well with me…" He started, face growing serious. "But Ichigo… well, he's not the brightest crayon in the box." He motioned vaguely and leaned against the soft cushions of the couch.

"You think I should tell him why I'm here." He stated blandly, eyes darting towards the kitchen door as Yuzu walked out carrying a tray that looked like her father's lunch. He didn't return the smile that was thrown his way.

"Well…" Isshin mused. "That would make his life a little easier." This time Grimmjow did laugh.

"And what makes you think I want to do that. I hate your son, Mr. Kurosaki."

Isshin sighed but his smile was still in place. "Yeah, he is stupid. Strong, but stupid nonetheless. And he is my son… Just remember that." Grimmjow couldn't misunderstand the slightly threatening tone that laced Isshin's words and he nodded, giving a lopsided grin of understanding.

As if flipping a switch, Isshin went back to his bright and seemingly dense side. "Good, now that we understand each other," He announced loudly. "Why don't you stay for lunch, have you eaten yet?"

"Thanks, but no. I have to go anyway."

"Wahhh? But you just got here." Isshin whined, picking up a fork and moving the contents around on his plate. Grimmjow merely shook his head and walked out the front door. Isshin watched him go, his face serious once more. I really hope you know what you're doing, Urahara.

Grimmjow wasn't stupid, he knew why Urahara had suggested that he ask to room with Kurosaki and his family. Ichigo was a soul reaper - substitute didn't matter - and he was a damn strong one at that._ Managed to kick my ass more times than I'd like to count_. He smiled. And so was his father. Two captain rank shinigami watching over him was just about more protection than he thought needed but whatever made the green hated man feel safe. It wasn't like he could complain much about the situation, he had agreed in the first place. But what eluded him was the fact that Urahara told Isshin and not Kurosaki. _Why does he have to be so fucking weird all of the time?_

He didn't like Ichigo but he could tolerated him longer than anyone else the blonde man might have suggested. At least if this arrangement didn't work and he tried to kill the teenager, Ichigo would be able to fight back.

* * *

With his thoughts all a jumble and his brain confused for most of the day almost to the point of not being able to function correctly, Ichigo was startled when his father yelled at him to come downstairs, announcing that he had a visitor. Looking back on the day he couldn't remember asking anyone to stop by for anything, vaguely he thought it to be Rukia or somebody from Sereitei, but that would be too good to be true. She was patrolling a different district of japan and everyone else was swamped with their own duties, or so they complained.

Reality suddenly hit the orange haired teen as he made it to the living room and found Orihime standing near his father. He gulped thickly, berating himself for being so stupid and forgetting that he had asked her to stop by so they could talk. Seeing her in front of him was a bit overwhelming and he gave her a nervous smile.

"Hey, _Inoue_..." He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

She smiled, but it seemed a bit forced, something he chose to ignore. "_Kurosaki-kun_, good to see you."

"Now, now," Isshin's voice boomed. "No need to act like stangers in my presence." He pushed the two teens closely together. "Don't be ashamed to show your love, it is a wonderful and natural thing!" Isshing narrowly missed the fist that was aimed for his face as he backed away from the couple, taking in the deep blush from his son's girlfriend as well as Ichigo's frustrated glare.

"Get the hell out of here, dad." Ichigo growled.

His smile suddenly grew wider.

"Or perhaps my beautiful son has not yet experienced the joys of the acts of love?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Ichigo's scowl faltered as his face turned a few shades redder and his father flitted out of the room before the chair could be lifted off of the ground and thrown at him. "Make me proud son!" He sing-songed as he left.

Running his hands down his face, Ichigo took a deep breath._ Just what I need, the old goat making those kind of assumptions_. He looked over at Orihime who looked as if she was just about ready to die from embarrassment. Her soft gray eyes turned towards him and she forced another smile.

"Sit down, Inoue." She complied and smoothed out the pleats of her skirt nervously. Kurosaki took a deep breath, wondering where to start before she beat him to the punch.

"I was so worried when you weren't answering your phone." A stab of guilt went straight through his heart and Ichigo smiled apologetically at the girl. "I didn't know what to do... I thought that maybe..." She didn't finish, she just let the words trail off.

_I know what you mean_. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I just needed a little time to get my head together. I'm sory if I hurt you, Inoue."

"You could never hurt me, Kurosaki-kun."

The way that she said it, as if she believed that more than anything in the world was what pushed the knife of guilt into his heart a little deeper. Being angry about Grimmjow had made him really forget how terrible he felt because of this situation. He didn't know where he would rather be at this moment; having this conversation with Inoue or sharing rooms with Grimmjow Jeaggerjaqes. _You dug this ditch for yourself, Kurosaki, you have no one else to blame_.

Orihime fidgited, worry overcoming her. For the remainder of yesterday and all of today she had tried to continue convincing herself that all was well, Kurosaki was still himself, they would still be together. But she was a woman, and she did have instincts despite her being blatantly air-headed at times. She almost ran away from their meeting today, she found herself at the substitute shinigami's doorstep, afraid to knock, ready to turn hide and run because she was so desperately afraid of the conversation that would be had once she intered. Ichigo didn't meet her eye, he moved around restlessly and had this look in his eye that made her almost wish she had just run away.

"Orihime... there's something I need to tell you... " The words, his voice, the weight of them pulled on her heart and caused it to ache fiercely. "...But I'm not sure how..."

Inoue allowed another smile to attach itself falsely to her face. "You can tell me anything, Kurosaki-kun." She tried to hide her trembling fingers.

"It's about the other night..."

_So that's it..._ "Oh? Was there something wrong? Was Kurosaki-kun not pleased?"

"No, that's not it, I mean, yes, it was... but... uh... argh." He grabbed his orange spikes in frustration before lifting his head to meet with the girl's gray eyes once more. "It's not about that, you were, I mean everything was... wonderful." He saved, eyes averting momentarily to hide his blush. "It's just that..." _I feel like I used you._

Orihime watched patiently as he struggled to find the words but even Ichigo wasn't sure what he was going to say._ How in the hell can I tell her. I was never one for words, but how the hell do I tell someone, a person that I'm suppose to love, something that's going to break her heart._ He was brave, but there were some things that he just couldn't do. He was strong, but Ichigo didn't think he could endure this. A small sob broke him from his sullen thoughts and he looked over at Inoue; her head was bowed low and her shoulders shook slightly. He opened his mouth to ask her what was the matter - Stupid question - before she looked up at him and he saw the tear glide easily down the side of her heart shaped face.

"How come you never say you love me?" She asked in a broken voice, not bothering to wipe away her tears. "I say it so much... all the time... but you never say it back to me. Why?" Orihime pleaded, bottom lip trembling. Ichigo felt his heart drop.

"I... "_ I haven't said it because I don't feel the same._ But the look in her eyes stoped him from finishing the sentence. Her eyes flashed with hurt and he mentally kicked himself.

"I love you Ichigo." She waited.

Silence.

She cried harder.

"You... c-can't say it back?" Her voice was broken and from her tone it sounded more like an accusation than a question.

"I... I do, love you, Inoue." Ichigo tried to comfort her but was helpless in this situation. He had never had to console anyone through tears before. He couldn't decide much else to do than to sit back worriedly and allow her to cry out her feelings. Orihime shook a little more and clutched her forearms, bent forward slightly. The knot in his gut tightened as he realized that this was the first time he's ever seen Inoue cry like this.

"But you can't... you can't say it..." She sniffed.

Ichigo frowned. "I love you Inoue, I just..." _can't be with you._ "I just don't love you the same way you love me."

In that one instant Ichigo felt as if time stopped. The look on Orihime's face froze, the hands ticking away on the clock hung against the wall slowed down and he had to catch his breath for fear that he was going to have an anxiety attack. All at once Inoue's tears stopped and she looked him right in the eye, her face confused.

"What do you mean, Ichigo."_ Please no..._

He sighed heavily and ran his hands through his short spiky orange hair. "I mean my feelings towards you, the way I love you... It's not deep and romantic... You're a dear friend Orihime, but I don't think it would be right to continue this." He gestured vaguely.

Orihime pressed her lips together and shook her head. "_Wh-What_?" Her eyes threatened to tear once more. "_What do you mean_?" She asked again pitifully, but she knew, her worst fears were being realized. Ichigo tried to withhold the look of guilt on his face to her reaction, but he had expected her reaction to be an unfavorable one. _Just, please, don't start crying again..._

"I... shit... I don't know how else to say this, _Hime..._"

"Don't call me that." She said through her tears. "I... I thought you l-loved me. That's why, that's why I gave you everything... You were suppose to feel the same way about me... We were suppose to be happy together, I wanted to make you h-happy._ I love you so, so much, Kurosaki_." She sobbed and hiccuped through her words and it was painful for Ichigo to watch.

"I'm sorry, Inoue."

"So that night meant nothing to you?"

_Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to..._ "It did..."

"You don't sound too sure about that."

"I'm sorry..."_ Pitiful._

This was too much, all of her greatest fears realized in just a few short minutes. There was no turning back, not going back to the way things were and pretending that this day never happened. Ichigo was breaking up with her and that was a tough pill to swallow. At this point, due to the shock, she couldn't tell if her heart was ever going to be the same, time has a funny way of changing things. Still... she didn't think she could live a life that wasn't close to Kurosaki.

Isshin walked away from the hallway, ashamed of himself for listening to the conversation his son had just had, shaking his head.

* * *

**Kyo **- You know... I was going to have Ichigo chicken out and stay with her... but if that happened, then there wouldn't be a chapter 5. _Ku ku ku ku ku_... o-o ILY Orihime...

**Grimmjow **- ...

**Kyo **- Are you going to read the preview for the next chapter, Grimm? o.o

**Grimmjow **- ... I got nothing better to do... since someone cant focus long enough to write me in this bullshit story.

**Kyo **- I'm trying. ;-;

**Grimmjow **- ... Pathetic.

_Wherein love dies. _

_Grievances are foretold._

_And reality is relived. _


	5. No Obstante

**Kyo** -So FF has been really dumb latey. First I couldn't upload anything and then I couldn't even sign in to my account. I checked around and found that my profile wasn't the only one malfunctioning. I'm just happy they've fixed the problem... for now. In the meantime enjoy. Chapter 6 may or may not be early in coming depending on how quickly I can have it edited. =}

**Chapter 5 - No Obstante, Yo Creo que Usted Hizo Lo Correcto. [Still, I Think You Did The Right Thing.]**

_Wherein love dies.  
Grievances are foretold.  
And reality is relived. _

Days passed and then turned into weeks. Before he knew it, a month had passed and Ichigo still couldn't believe he and Orihime weren't together. Things were somehow the same, but very different now. In the beginning it was very hard to get use to, not hearing Orihime's voice or seeing her smile everyday. But now it felt like a small part of his life was missing, a friend had been horribly disposed of. He wished to make amends with the girl, but she refused to talk to him, to see him. A few days after the emotional break up he had gotten an angry call from Tatsuki. He had been called many names and the expectation of him bearing future children had been questioned before she hung up in his face. He supposed that he deserved it, kind of, but she could have kept her calm as he tried to do when she yelled various obscenities in his face.

What hurts the most is the fact that he and Inoue might not ever patch this up, he really hurt her and though she might forgive him for what he has done to her eventually, there is a very little chance that she would want to see him ever again. _That may not all be true..._ he thought. The young girl had always been very forgiving and understanding in their relationship. She never got angry, she never raised her voice and Ichigo had to admit, beside the last time he saw her, he hadn't seen Inoue cry in a very very long time. _So... there may still be hope of fixing this.. I'll just have to wait, I suppose. _But it was frustrating, sitting and waiting for the outcome of these events. A slight groan had the orange haired shinigami turning over in his bed and glaring at the figure huddled beneath the covers on the bed opposite his.

He had almost forgotten about his unwelcome house guest. Until recently he hadn't seen much of the blue haired male; Grimmjow tended to keep to himself and generally ignored Ichigo whenever possible. But lately, the Kurosaki had found himself waking up with his roommate still in his room. They never spoke, they barely looked at each other but the thought of having to share his space with another person - especially a person whom he use to be enemies with - it left a bitter taste in Ichigo's mouth. Grimmjow, though, he didn't seem to mind, nor did he try to kill the redhead every chance he got, which Ichigo was grateful for.

He still wondered what the male was doing here and why he was still alive. In the time he had wasted bemoaning his breakup with Orihime, paying Urahara a visit at his shop slipped his mind. At once he thought he had better do it soon, just to get his concerns cleared up. Tomorrow. Tomorrow would be a good day to beat up ex-shinigami shop owners.

Getting out of bed he gave another glare to the lump in the other bed and shuffled to his door. Before he could grab the handle, it was swung open and a foot connected to his face, sending him flying back into bed.

"Good morning, Ichigo, my beautiful son!" His dad bellowed, causing the lump underneath the covers to flinch.

"Damn it dad, how many times do I have to warn you?" He swung a punch in the other man's direction, Isshin simply swung his head out of the way.

"Got to keep you on your toes son!" There was a wicked laughter before it was silenced by Ichigo's fist. Isshin stumbled backwards, holding his nose. "Nice one, son!" He said, voice coming out in a nasally muffle as tears peaked in his eyes. "Great way to catch daddy by surprise." He whimpered.

Ichigo kicked passed the disappointment he called a father on the floor and headed downstairs to breakfast to find Yuzu - as always - in front of the stove while Karin sat at the table with her head resting in her hands as she stared lazily out the window at nothing in particular. Though he lived with his sisters, he hardly ever got time to spend with them since he was buried in school work most of the time.

"Ichi-ni," Yuzu said brightly as he walked into sight. She had pancake batter all over her apron and he vaguely thought his oaf of a father shouldn't work her so hard. But then again, she enjoyed doing the work, so he really couldn't complain. "I told dad to wake you up since breakfast is almost ready." She smiled, cracking an egg and pouring it into the heated pot.

"Yea, thanks." He muttered, not really thankful for his father's methods of waking people up. Ichigo sat at the table across from Karin, who continued to look out the window.

"So what's up, Ichi-ni. You seem down." She said without looking at him. Orange eyebrows rose.

"Why do you say that?"

Karin gave him a look that said 'Are you serious?'. Anyone within a five mile radius could tell that something was wrong with the orange haired shinigami. He just wasn't ready to face anyone that asked what was the problem. Ichigo gulped and averted his younger sister's gaze.

"It's nothing you should worry yourself about." He said quietly.

There was silence for a moment and then Karin surprised him by saying, "Orihime-chan dumped you, didn't she?" Ichigo nearly choked on his orange juice.

"W-why would you say something like that?" He gasped, trying to catch his breath.

"Well... we hardly see her, she doesn't call or come around here anymore. And you look like someone who just got dumped." Her face was calm, serious. And it made Ichigo's heart sink. At least she didn't guess the whole truth...

"Actually... I broke up with her." He didn't like the way 'dumped' sounded. It was to impersonal. While he hadn't truly been in love with Orihime, he did feel something for her. He cared for her, just not in the way she wanted him to.

His thoughts were broken by a loud ' Eeeeiiiiii?' Yuzu walked out of the kitchen with a tray filled with pancakes. "You broke up with Orihime-chan? But- but why, Ichi-ni?" She asked, placing the tray onto the table. Even Karin looked surprised, her eyebrows were halfway to her hairline.

Ichigo didn't feel like talking about this particular subject right now and tried to explaing that to his sisters. Yuzu made a sound of disappointment.

"But, Orihime-chan was so nice." She pouted.

"When did this happen?" Karin asked, the emotion in her voice unreadable.

Ichigo sighed. "A month ago."

Yuzu gave another disapproving screech. "Whaaaat? A whole month and you didn't tell us, Ichi-ni?" She looked heartbroken. "Poor Inoue-chan." She put her hands on her cheeks and made a 'tsking' sound, shaking her brown head. "I wonder how she's doing. I should bake her something sweet as an apology..."

Ichigo's ears pricked at the statement. "Y-You don't have to do that." Yuzu's frown didn't leave her face.

"But ni-san, Orihime-chan _**really**_ liked you. I can only imagine how sad she must be right now." Another stab of guilt.

"Leave it to Ichi-ni to break the heart of the nicest girl in Karakura." Karin mumbled, forking a stack of pancakes onto her plate, bypassing the plate of omeletes that Yuzu brought out as well.

This situation, needless to say, didn't help the mood Ichigo was in. He understood fairly well what he did. He also understood why he did it. Why it had to be done. His sisters were young, they'd understand one day. He hoped that they wouldn't have to learn by a guy doing the exact same thing to them.

Later that night, Ichigo found himself staring face to face at the man he'd remembered leaving behind to rot in the empty void of Hueco Mundo. Lately, he hadn't given much thought to the former espada or his mysterious appearance, but some days, like today, he had made his presence so annoyingly obvious that Ichigo had little other choice than to ponder why the hell the man was here. He definitely needed to go see Urahara. This was getting on his nerves.

Another thing that had been bothering him since the blue haired hollow's arrival was the lack of city wide panic and destruction. Why weren't there bodies in the street? Why, since his arrival, hadn't Grimmjow never, not once, egged Ichigo into some pointless fight? In fact, Ichigo couldn't help but notice how... calm Grimmjow had been since he began living with him. Peculiar, right?

Perhaps Urahara was playing some gigantic trick on him. There was no way, if the Sexta had survived he would be so complacent and docile while in the presence of the substitute shinigami. It wasn't possible for the male to be mellow and level headed. He was a beast, a monster, who only knew how to destroy. He even said it himself; death was the only thing he knew, it was the only way he knew how to survive.

Ichigo scratched his head and leaned against the wall behind him. Some things just didn't add up and he had a lot of questions, but he would be damned if he asked the espada - former espada, he had to remember that - himself. He wondered what the blonde shopkeeper gained by playing such a horrible trick on someone; little to nothing other than his own twisted amusement, he would assume. But there was one other question the redhead was curious about.

Why now?

After three years of silence, why would the former espada return? What purpose did he have here anymore? Now that he knew he couldn't fight, why come back. Ichigo wanted the answers, they ate at him, irritated him to the point where he wanted to punch a hole in the wall. He felt his fists clench as he realized the intense blue eyes were still staring at him.

"What?" he questioned belegerently. Grimmjow merely rolled his eye in another direction. _Stupid hollow. Stupid Hat n' Sandals. _Ichigo silently ranted. He knew he was being immature, upset that even his sworn enemy could handle the situation worlds better than he was currently, but he couldn't help it. He was angry, frustrated... hurt. No, not because he had to share space with Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques.

* * *

Ichigo needed to think, he needed advice. The only problem was that now, there weren't very many people he could go to seek help from his troubles. He knew Chad would easily listen to what he wanted to rant about, but lately he had been feeling that he was burdening his friend far too much with his whining. Ishida... well, yeah. Tatsuki was still extremely upset with him about the entire situation and he would bet that as soon as Rukia found out she'd do all the things his spiky haired friend had threatened to do. Renji's been super busy for some reason, but talking to him would be the equivalent to talking to a brick wall. He was a good friend, just no one to turn to for serious advise. See? For all of his popularity, weather it be on earth or in Soul Society, there was no one he could genuinely pour his heart out to.

The substitute sighed. He didn't know what invisible force brought him to this point but he was relieved to see that the place was fairly empty. In his dire need for companionship, he followed his feet to the graveyard where his mother had been buried. Her anniversary wasn't for another couple of months, so the thought of stepping foot here was foreign to Ichigo's distraught brain. However, as he stood in front of the delicately carved stone, noticing the remnants of last year's offering, he felt somewhat at ease. Visiting didn't hurt as much as it use to, although he did ask for the day off every time the eve of his mother's death came around.

Ichigo bet anything he looked pitiful standing there and staring at his mother's tombstone like a lost little child, but he couldn't help it; at that moment that is what he was. "I've screwed up big time, mom," he began without preamble, not finding it strange to seek comfort within a long silent grave. "I hurt the one person outside of the family that could have possibly ever loved me. I tried to apologize, but she refuses to speak to me. I want us to go back to being friends, but since I did something so terrible to her... I don't think we can. Now I don't know what to do."

He waited for an answer in vain. The only response he received was silence. Ichigo waited a moment longer then smiled down at the weathered stone.

"Thanks mom." He said, even though he had received no real answer, his problem, the way he perceived, could solve itself. Since there wasn't much he could do right now, he would wait. If Orihime wanted to forgive him, he would wait for her decision to do so. He was too hasty, only pushing her away further. If need be he would keep as great a distance from her as possible. Regrettable, but necessary. It was tough, since he had always handled any situation diving head first and thinking about the consequences later. _Come to think of it, isn't that the reason why I'm in this predicament now?_

For a long time Grimmjow had been forced along with the slow, mundane pace of the common human. It was boring, repetitive and quiet, things he had no particular fancy for. But there was a certain calm to human life that fuel his curiosity towards humans and their weak little lives. Many times before he had remembered that he use to be one of them, he didn't know when or where, but once before he walked the streets of some distant city and socialized with the people there. Once he had a family, friends, loved ones. It was strange to think of all these things, but he did. Since his promise to Urahara, he'd had a lot of time to think about these things. The absence of violence in his life has made him weak, he noticed. There was a time, in the beginning, when it bothered him. In Hueco Mundo you could not show weakness, there was only strength. If you were to show your faults, you were eaten, gobbled up and made a part of a stronger being. He knew this very well... that was how he survived. But now, in this world, he didn't have to worry about that. These people strive on their weaknesses. Still... it was difficult...

"Following rules... taking orders... I could have stayed with Aizen for this shit." he grumbled, eyes narrowing suddenly. The thought of Aizen and the person who defeated him sending a new wave a fury through him. That day was one he had never forgotten about, and later, when he was rescued by the guy with the stupid hat, he remembered how he had been filled with such regret and anger. Regret that he hadn't been strong enough to kill Ichigo when he had the chance. Even more so because he had not the power to break through Aizen's twisted plan. Anger because it was Ichigo who had taken his prey, the man whom he had promised himself to kill in the first place.

"Ichigo..." Just as the name passed through the male's lips, the owner suddenly entered his vision, walking past double black iron gates into a cemetery. The blue haired hollow frowned and followed the young man into the memorial garden. He and the Kurosaki had been enemies so he felt that there was no reason to be interested in his personal life, but the image of the shinigami walking into the cemetery with that unsure yet determined face piqued his curiosity. People called him an asshole, uncaring, cold... anything you could imagine throughout his entire career in Las Noches, but he had to bee a fool to not notices that something very severe had been happening within the teenager's life.

"It's not like I care, I just want to know why..." he mumbled to himself for unnecessary reassurance.

Grimmjow followed Ichigo unnoticed, partially because of the gigai that was loaned to him and partially because he believed the shinigamin still couldn't detect spiritual pressure worth a damn. _But still... he looks so preoccupied I don't think he would have noticed me even if he'd been as good at detecting reiatsu as that Quincy._ The red head stopped at an older gravestone with remnants of flowers and an offering left behind, he couldn't read the name from his distance, however, but was content in watching as the substitute shinigami mumbled a few words to himself while staring at the darkened stone. There was a long moment of silence before he saw the teen's posture change as he walked away from the stone. Grimmjow frowned, _That was stupid..._ He made his way to the place where the shinigami had stood before, eyes gazing over the name of the stone before he turned again to follow the teen deeper into the cemetery.

"Just how many people does this kid have to mourn?" He questioned, struggling to keep up with the boy as the paths got narrower. It felt like a days journey before they reached their destination; a small meadow garden just behind the cemetery, in the middle there was a small stone statue that looked like an amateur grave stone. Grimmjow wondered whose could this be, he'd heard of all of the Shinigami that were lost during the battle... none of the ones that were closest to the substitute fell and all of the humans had survived... so who? He watched quietly, standing beside a tree, in plain sight had the shinigami been looking in his direction (Why should I hide, it's not like I'm ashamed.), Ichigo knelt this time in front of the stone, since it was so much smaller, this time, Grimmjow could see the dejected posture.

_Fuck this_. Grimmjow was tired of this behavior, he didn't care if they were enemies, there was no telling how long he would be in Karaukura this time, there were some things he just had to know and Ichigo's recent mysterious behavior would lead to him getting the answers he wanted.

"Oi!" he shouted, startling the teen some, causing him to swing his head around into the former espada's direction. As soon as amber eyes locked with cerulean blue, Ichigo scowled deeply at Grimmjow.

"What the hell are you doing here?" That seemed to be the only question he's asked the Espada since he's been here.

"You know, since I came here you've been in this shit mood. Do you know how much if fucking irritates me to see you sulking around like some moody goddamn woman? What the hell happened to you?"

Ichigo glared at the hollow. "I'm sorry if my very existence irritates you, but that's not my problem."

"Che... What are you doing, mumbling to another one of your precious stones?" Brown eyes widened. It didn't occur to him to wonder just how long Grimmjow had been following him here. After his initial shock, he resumed his glare and stood from his spot on the ground.

"Why did you come here?"

A shrug. "I guess I just really wanted to see what it was that was making you such a pussy." Ichigo went red in the face, sputtering at the vulgar insult before cursing Grimmjow.

"Why the hell would you care? You might have been the one to kill her." he growled angrily.

"Why would you say that, Ichigo? Because I was and Espada? or because I'm a hollow?" he laughed but the sound held no humor.

"Because you're Grimmjow." the silence that followed the statement was so thick Ichigo felt almost suffocated by it. "You never answered my question. Why did you come here?"

"I don't particularly care to answer your dumb ass question. Just like I don't care what you think about me. If my memory serves me right, you never cared to begin with. All that you were concerned with was that I was bothering you."

"Of course, why the hell would I want to live with you."

"Fucking Christ, why the hell am I arguing about this with you? You want to know how I really feel about this situation? I couldn't give a damn if you cared two shits about me because I sure as hell don't give a damn about you. Stupid hat guy gave me no choice, I had to do it in order to keep her safe."

Ichigo paused, "Her?" And who was she? he thought. Surely there was no one on this entire earth that Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques cared more about than himself.

* * *

Kyo - Does this really count as a cliffhanger? Are you people intrigued? Should I write more? Should I stop?

Ichigo - If you stop, I will kill you.

Kyo - Berry head is so mean. ;;

Ichigo - There are too many questions left unanswered for you to stop here.

Kyo - If you feel that way, then do the preview thingy, por favor.

Ichigo - ...

_Wherein death is shared  
The cost of war is tallied.  
And an enemy shares his secrets_

I


	6. Cubierta En Rosas

**Chapter 6. - Cubierta En Rosas. [Covered With Roses.] **

_Wherein death is shared  
The cost of war is tallied.  
And an enemy shares his secrets_

"Her?" Ichigo inquired once more when the hollow did not answer him the first time. The male seemed to be looking down at the gravestone which he had just been mourning. He watched as the solemn face grew from composed to furious, a look that suited him much more because honestly Ichigo had never gotten use to the mellow, anti-violence Grimmjow that had been staying at his house. He stopped staring, however as he heard and then saw the small makeshift gravestone tumble over into the grass, the result of Grimmjow vindictively kicking the memorial. His face looked as if the thing has insulted him personally. Ichigo was outraged.

"What the fuck is your problem!" Ichigo had been patient with the man up until this point. Now he was truly testing that patience.

"I should ask you the same fucking question." The blue haired man hissed back. "What the hell is that, some kind of joke?" he pointed at the new pile of rocks on the ground. Ichigo had even taken the time to buy wax letters to spell out the the name of the deceased.

"Who the hell would joke over something like this? And moreover, what kind of person would knock over a memorial! The fuck is your problem?" It astounded the young shinigami that the ex espada did not have an ounce of respect, even for the dead.

Grimmjow clenched his teeth as he stared down at the shinigami. "How stupid can you possibly be? Don't go around making graves for people that ain't even dead."

Ichigo could feel his fury growing. How the hell would he know? After their battle, the Sexta was so close to death that he doubted he could hear what was going on around them. Even still there was no excuse. He had worked hard on that gravestone after he had come back from Hueco Mundo. He and sometimes Orihime had come to place roses on the makeshift memorial whenever possible. Just because she was a hollow didn't mean she did not deserve any less respect. She was a friend... a friend he had failed to protect. And to have an asshole like Grimmjow say that he was wrong to mourn someone he had lost... it was unforgivable. He didn't hold back as his arm retracted and threw a powerful punch right into the side of the hollow's jaw. Without the fractured skull there he was able to feel the real bone underneath nearly give to the force of his blow, that gave him a little satisfaction.

"You don't know shit." He growled as Grimmjow winced as he picked himself up off the floor. "All you know is that you weren't the one who killed Aizen. That's all you care about. You wouldn't know the first thing about caring for anyone other than yourself and your dumb ass pride. Weather you like it or not, people, good, important, innocent people that were close to me died in Hueco mundo and I will not have you mocking their memory just because of some grudge that you have against me!"

He wouldn't cry. Back in Las Noches Ichigo promised himself that he wouldn't let anything that happened make him break down. But this moment was a test of his will. Thinking about it... all of the people he's let down... all of the ones he wasn't able to save. It would be tasting a lie to say it wasn't tough on his soul.

Grimmjow had been punched plenty of times, more than he'd like to count in fact. Most were by enemies but none like this one before. This time it actually hurt. He stared up int the furious eyes of the Kurosaki and gave a glare of his own. "You're the one that doesn't know anything." Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "You were the one living so long in your self pity, I bet it never even occurred to you to go and ask the stupid hat guy what the fuck was up."

"Why would I?"

"Tch.. maybe then you might have learned that I'm not the only one he managed to save from Las Noches before it fell, dumbass." Grimmjow took pleasure in the look of confusion upon the shinigami's face.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his eyes were guarded but his face was curious. Grimmjow tsked.

"Fuck that. I ain't telling you nothin' you don't wanna hear. After all, I don't care about nothin' besides myself, right shinigami?

The scowl from before came back tenfold as Ichigo's anger unleashed anew. "Goddamn you, Grimmjow! Say what the fuck you mean or don't say anything at all."

"Tell me what happened in Hueco Mundo. What happened after you... after our fight. Tell me what the hell would make you build such a stupid thing," he gestured at the pile of rocks and the scattered wax letters.

"Why should I?"

Grimmjow sighed. Time in the human world has taught him great amounts of patience, he didn't think he could handle life here if he hadn't learned the skill. Dealing with the Kurosaki was an entire different subject all on its own. If he played his cards right he could get the shinigami to tell him all he wanted to know, though if he was too forceful or cocky, the entire thing could blow up in his face. It didn't help to know that the teenager hated him with a burning fury that could envelope him in an instant.

"Don't you want to know why I'm here? I bet it's just gnawing at your simple little shinigami brain." He couldn't stop the hint of malice that entered the words.

Ichigo averted his eyes for a moment before frowning deeper. "I could just go and ask Urahara why he sent you to me." True, he could ask, but there was not garantee that he would get a straight answer. He knew this, but there was little more he could do in order to retrieve any type of information pertaining to his situation.

"And how much do you think he'd actually be willing to tell ya?"

Ichigo sighed. "After our fight... Nnoitora found us, I tried to fight him but I was too worn out... Nel tried to protect me, she transformed, but only for a little while, enough to tire Nnoitra out some but not enough. He came after me again, but that was when Kenpachi stepped in and took over. I don't know if you saw at least that much." He didn't wait for the blue haired male's answer before he continued. "It turns out that it took Yama-ji as long as usual to make up his mind about entering Hueco Mundo." A laugh. "Orihime healed me and Nel before Ulquiorra came back. We fought... I had no idea how strong he was... though I knew he must have been holding something back considering how much you hated him."

Though Grimmjow never hid who in fact he did hate, Ichigo had known from the start that since Ulquiorra had been directly linked to Aizen, he was hated nearly as much as the former captain was by the sexta. The red head teen brought a hand up to absently scratch at the back of his head. "During our battle... things happened and in the end I won." Immediately he saw the anger wash over Grimmjows face, no doubt Ulquiorra was another in his book he felt that he deserved the right to get rid of. The male cursed silently before composing himself once more.

"What kind of things happened?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." In the short span of time he was allowed to fight Ulquiorra, he had managed to hurt two people that was very close to him. He did not like to remember the time he spent as his hollow self. It frightened him. What frightened him the most was the fact that he couldn't remember much of the incident. All he knew was that he was not himself, he could feel the hollow taking over, he felt it's anger, it's power. If he could have controlled it, it may have been a different story, but to know that power and then consequently have no hold over it... if Orihime had not called him back who knew what kind of destruction that thing might have done including ripping Ulquiorra to pieces.

Blue eyes narrowed. "Why not?"

"Because I don't remember most of it. I just... don't want to talk about it." He tried to mask his uncertainty with anger and Grimmjow narrowed his eyes at the boy in suspicion. Finally he sighed.

"Fine. What happened with Aizen?"

"Didn't Urahara tell you all this?" Ichigo grew frustrated. The feeling of helplessness he felt once the war ended, though it had been three years since hasn't left him since. If at all possible he would rather not dwell on things he promised to bury deep within his heart.

"No. He wasn't there during most of it. He told me what he heard when gathering the dead from that place. I know the outcome, I just want to hear your version of the story."

It was hard to retell what happened during the battle. It was frustrating to reveal that he had even given up his shinigami powers in the process, but it was necessary. In order to become stronger than Aizen, he needed to give up that which he loved. In truth he never lost his powers, they returned after a time, a quirk of the process that his idiotic father failed to mention. But it hadn't made his decision any easier, though if he had been put into the same situation again, he would happily do it over and over again in order to save the ones he could. As he got to the end of his story, Ichigo's voice grew more solemn.

"They wanted to try to save him, but I knew better. Old man Yama would have been lenient, far too lenient for a murderer like Aizen. He was weaker, all of the Espada and their Fraccion had been disposed of. He was nothing, but I couldn't let him off that easy. He was the one to make my choice all the easier. When he attacked, I struck back. I was just a little quicker." Grimmjow listened in silence as the boy told his tale. "To think if I hadn't trained with my father before... if I had been a little slower..." He visibly shivered. "After that though, everything was fine. The fake Karakura town disappeared, all of my friends were safe. I went back to Hueco Mundo to see what the toll was... it could have been a lot worse."

Grimmjow glanced away, he didn't like the affect the look in the substitute shinigami's eyes was having on him.

"I went to look for Nel. I lost track of her after leaving with Unohana to find Aizen. I found Orihime first, she was with Pesche and Dondochakka... the three of them had gotten caught in one of Yammy's rampages... They... couldn't save her in time."

Ichigo had promised himself that he wouldn't cry. He had been reminded dozens of times that it wasn't his fault. Rukia, Renji, Ishida, Chad and later on Byakuya and Kenpachi had done all they could to keep the tenth in his place but once he released his sword, his size was difficult to handle. Ichigo had always thought if he had spent a little more time fighting Yammy... if he had told Orihime to take Nel and run... things wouldn't have ended up like this. She wouldn't have...

Tears welled within the substitute shinigami's eyes but he refused to let them fall. He doubted Grimmjow would ever understand his anguish; he would much sooner mock the shinigami for his weakness. "It's all because of me... they never even found her body. 'She probably got eaten by a stronger hollow passing by.' That's what someone told me! So don't you dare say I don't know anything."

Grimmjow said nothing as he looked at the shinigami, three years showing how much he's matured out of the juvenile brat he fought on that first night so long ago. "You've really grown up, kid."

Ichigo blinked, thinking he heard wrong, but the small smirk on the former espada's face proved that he'd heard right.

"C'mon, you and me need to have a little talk with Mr. Hat."

* * *

**Kyo** - So this chapter is shorter than the rest because I wanted to focus solely on the war and stuff and Ichigo's retelling of it. Remember my take on it is different than the way it actually happened in the manga, though I did add some truth... I hope I didn't spoil too much for you guys. ;.; It's suppose to be dramatic and emotional but I can't be sure if I got the mood down or not. I hope so. In the next chapter, Urahara is finally confronted and Ichigo gets the answers he seeks... well, some of them. How do you guys like this new mellow Grimmjow? Personally I find him rather odd... he's too calm, he needs to be fucking some shit up. But sadly not in this story. :P

_Wherein grief is useless.  
A candy shop is raided.  
And a difference is noticed._


	7. La Luz De Mi Vida

**Chapter 7 - La Luz De Mi Vida [The Light Of My Life] **

_Wherein grief is useless.  
A candy shop is raided.  
And a difference is noticed._

Ichigo had made promise after promise to himself that he would make a personal visit to Urahara's shop, but never in a million years would he have expected to make that trip with Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques. Though this had been part of the plan to get some questions answered, it still felt a bit odd, Grimmjow was curiously quiet during their trip to the faux candy shop, no matter how much Ichigo pestered him with questions. He said that there was something the three of them needed to discuss together but, for the life of him; he couldn't figure what it had to do with Nel. Grimmjow claimed that he'd had it all wrong and the young arrancar child wasn't dead at all and though the thought was something he desperately wished he could have faith in, Ichigo didn't trust Grimmjow. Quite simply he couldn't take the word of a person who tried to kill him on three different occasions too seriously. Force of habit, you could say.

The shoten looked different, Ichigo couldn't remember when the last time was that he had been here but he swore to himself that it couldn't have been so long ago. It was a little past noon and in the sunlight he could see two familiar figures outside of the small building. The small dark haired girl pushed around a short bristled broom while the red haired boy lounged off the side of the steps that lead into the shoten, aimlessly clicking away on his phone. Grimmjow was the first to greet the two.

"Oi, Stupid Hat in there?" Surprised, Ururu gave a quick nod before smiling up at the two approaching meanwhile Jinta remained oblivious to his surroundings.

After his initial acknowledgement, Grimmjow ignored the two and proceeded on inside, Ichigo returned the smile aimed towards him before he disappeared inside of the building as well. Even though the sign to the shop said open, it was dark and dusty inside of the store, opposite of the bright sun that shone just outside the door, it took a while for his eyes to adjust and once they did, Ichigo could have sworn that the place was empty. Solid footsteps were heard before the giant known as Tessai walked through two flaps of cloth that served as a door to separate the store front from the actual house that connected to it. He smiled gently at the red head, then at Grimmjow.

"Quite a surprise to see you here, Kurosaki-san." he commented in his gentle yet strong voice.

"Yeah... it's been a while, Tessai-san." Two and a half, almost three years, he'd guess. Grimmjow glared at the meaningless pleasantries shared between the two men.

"We need to see Mr. Sandals, pronto." he grumbled in irritation. Tessai continued to smile serenely.

"Grimmjow-san, you are still aware of you and Urahara-sama's agreement?" Tessai's face turned stern but his voce never lost his calm. In the back of Ichigo's mind he pondered on if the butler could actually get angry, and if he could he would never want to witness it firsthand. He heard the blue haired man next to him breathe a short curse, pulling him out of his thoughts. Grimmjow sighed irritably.

"I just need to talk to him about something."

"As long as talking is the only thing you plan to do..." He turned to lead the two into the back of the store and into the living area. Grimmjow made another sound of annoyance. Ichigo could understand Tessai's concern, even he couldn't trust the arrancar to keep his word, despite the fact that he had been living with the male for the past month or so. Old habits are hard to break and they never knew when or if he would just revert back to his old ways. A wild beast could never be truly tamed. Ichigo knew that if he let his guard down or turned his back on Grimmjow, he would ultimately regret it, he couldn't risk anything when it came to the former Sexta.

Grimmjow, on the other hand understood Tessai's concern quite differently. While the blonde shopkeeper had been all too willing and ready to trust the bluenette to be on his best behavior, the former healer had not. He had uncharacteristically voiced his opinion on the matter of allowing the espada to have a handmade gigai and to travel the world according to his own whims. His opinions were overlooked and Urahara did nothing more than claim that Grimmjow _would_ stick to his promise. The blonde was resolute in this belief, so he had no other choice than to trust his employer's decisions, that didn't mean he wasn't wary of the situation.

Both males were lead down a long straight hallway, passing by various doors, the bare walls uninteresting. Once they neared the end of the hall, voices could be heard, one distinctly male, and the other, high pitched and female, with a semi-childish lift to it. The voice sounded familiar, but Ichigo couldn't place a name or a face. After a moment there was laughter and then loud stomping sounds as if someone were running around heavily on wooden floorboards. Tessai stopped at the door in which the sounds were coming from and announced that Urahara had two guests.

A breathless Kisuke answered: "Let them in, let them in!"

There weren't many things in this world that surprised the young orange haired teen anymore; after all he had seen more in his eighteen years than most people in their entire lifetime. He had batted ghosts, monsters, egotistical pricks with a superiority complex... and even Aizen. There wasn't much that could faze him, but Ichigo was stunned by what he saw as the door to the 12 tatami mat room slid open. Urahara was there, sitting in the middle of the space, infamous hat perched atop his golden head, fan covering half of his face as usual. The lone shop owner would have not been so offsetting if there hadn't been another presence in the room: a small girl child with short, curly tealish green hair, she ran around the room chasing after a black cat who hissed as she caught it and snuggled the feline into her chest.

The substitute shinigami couldn't believe his eyes. The familiar face, the lifting giggle that he had all but dreamed about, the tiny girl he believed he had left as a corps in the sands of Hueco Mundo was right here, in Urahara's shoten, playing with the feline Yoruichi as if she didn't have a care in the world. The image that swarmed his mind must have been an illusion, created by Kisuke himself, the perfect puppeteer. How else could she be here? Three years without word of her living in this shop and Urahara didn't have the decency of telling him... even after knowing for the longest how devastated he was after returning from the desolate hollow world. Sure there had been plenty of casualties and she was a hollow to begin with, but he promised he would protect her.

He promised.

Ichigo looked back at Grimmjow for answers, the teal haired man's gaze remained on the child running happily around the room until the jubilant pitter patter of bare little girl feet on tatami mat stopped, her high pitched giggles lowered to rumbling chuckles till they all but ceased when Nel's hazel eyes focused on the red head at the door. The tiny mouth that had just been laughing with joy turned upside down just as she wailed in devastated happiness.

"ITSYUGOOOOO!" The teen heard the black cat fall to the floor with an undignified hiss and felt his stomach attacked by a tiny body that was too short to jump up and cling to his neck as first intended. Nell blubbered and cried into his shirt, muffling her declaration of missing the substitute shinigami and angry/confused accusations of him not coming back for her like he promised. Ichigo was so stunned, he didn't know what to think or say, for long moments he just held on to the little girl in his arms, shushing her tears and telling her it was going to be okay.

Neliel had many questions for the substitute shinigami. Much like that of a child, they were pointless and had no real depth to them but she hung on to his every answer like they were the most precious things in the world. She asked of his family and friends and whether or not they made it out of Las Noches okay and if Aizen was able to follow through on his 'evil plan'. Ichigo enjoyed laughing with the little girl so much that he didn't think to question how she knew all this nor the origin of her safety as well; one more question for Urahara. The list of things he would have to discuss with the shop owner was growing more by the minute.

"What happened to Dondochakka, Pesche Gautiche and Bawa Bawa?" she asked in earnest, big round eyes sparkling for the truth. Ichigo smiled softly at the girl.

"They are all safe, after the medic shinigami came to... ahem, clean up the mess," It still hurt to think about it... "... The rest of the soul reapers gathered at fake Karakura town were Aizen was." Urahara made a face at the end of the sentence, but Ichigo was too focused on the girl in his arms to notice.

Nel had this great look of relief on her face and to show it more she smiled her childish, gap-toothed grin that made Ichigo want to laugh.

An hour later, Ichigo found himself in the same room as before, sitting in front of a smirking Urahara with Nel in his lap and an irate Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques brooding in the background. He greatly enjoyed the fact that Nel was still alive and in safe - albeit at times that can be questioned - hands but this situation was overwhelming. Two supposedly dead hollows - arrancar at that - show up in Urahara's care, donning two of the best gigai he's ever seen... there was something more to this situation that Hat n' Sandals wasn't telling him.

"So~, Kurosaki-kun," The blonde hatted man began airily while flicking his fan in front of his face. "To what do we owe the pleasure?" Ichigo narrowed his brown eyes at the ex-shinigami.

"In case you haven't figured out by now, I have a few questions for you, Urahara." he said with a smile through gritted teeth.

"Ah! You are here to inquire about the latest addition to my custom made gigai collection." The shop owner said in an amused tone that served to act as nails on a chalk board to Ichigo's nerves. "But I'm sure that you've figured out by now that they are in fact gigai, hmm? Kurosaki-kun."

"Of course." Ichigo grumbled. "Only someone like you would be crazy enough to allow someone like him..." he made a gesture to the ex espada in the corner."...to roam around on earth as he pleases in a body equipped with god knows how many enhancements." Urahara huffed indignantly.

"It grieves me to know how little faith you have in me, Ichigo. As you know, with the intention to tame, all wild animals require a leash." He grinned behind his fan as the male growled form his place against the wall. "My problem was finding a leash adequate enough for Grimmjow."

Ichigo snorted. "Why? Why not just leave him in Las Noches? He could have survived."

The air in the room tensed and Ichigo even felt Nel's small body go rigid from his statement. Urahara's teasing smirk vanished.

"You really don't know what happened there after you left to face Aizen, do you." Dark orange brows drew down over coffee brown eyes as the teen shook his head.

"They told me after Yammy was defeated, everyone left, everyone that could move that is. Byakuya lead an evacuation of shinigami from Hueco Mundo. Fourth division shinigami were sent back later for casualties." He said of-handedly as if it were common sense, stroking the soft hair on Nel's head.

Urahara nodded in understanding, figuring he'd been told as much. His lips lifted into half a smile once more and he waved his fan in front of his face. "It's good that you have previous understanding that Sereitei is known for covering up its dirty laundry... This has been true for centuries before you ever came along. When I was in training to become a shinigami and later on after becoming captain - truth be told, today still - even I have helped bury some of their secrets... But it's a good thing you had a friend like me there to relay to you what really happened after Soi Fon, the brand new Soutaicho at the time gave the order for all shinigami to evacuate Las Noches." Ichigo watched as the man tapped his chin with the side of his fan and tilted his head to the side. Urahara's vision slid passed him and to the hollow who shifted uncomfortably against the wall. "Luckily you have someone here who was present to tell you what Soi Fon Soutaicho ordered **after** the dead were taken back to seireitei." He smiled, agitating his fan again.

Confused, Ichigo looked back at Grimmjow who seemed to be staring at the small child asleep in his arms. He wondered what Urahara meant by that. He wondered how much and who exactly was keeping this from him.

* * *

Ichigo hadn't found out all that he wanted to know. Mr. Hat 'n Sandals had been frustratingly vague and maddeningly evasive about his answers to everything the red head asked him.

"Go ask Grimmjow," he'd say. "He'd be happy to tell you."

_Why does he have to be such a dick about everything?_

_Well... when isn't he being a dick?_

_When he's too busy making no sense at all._

Ichigo just supposed that he should have known better than to expect a direct answer from the blonde right away. Out of the entire time he stayed there, aside from the beginning of the conversation, he made very little progress in knowing what he came here to find out. If anything he was walking away with more questions than answers. By the time his one-sided questioning was finished, the sun had set hours ago and Ichigo felt the first signs of fatigue hit him as he stretched out his arms and back, wondering where Nel had wandered off to in the middle of him yelling at Urahara about one thing or another. He supposed Grimmjow had already left for the night seeing as he had no other reason to stay as he showed the orange haired shinigami what he needed to see; though there were a few questions he still needed to ask the hollow himself.

Urahara offered him a room to stay the night but he refused in favor of it being a school night and he had to wake up early. Ichigo groaned as he looked at his watch, he could already count on a surprise attack from his father for being out so late. He stood to search for the green haired little girl in order to say good night and promise another visit. He walked out of the room and into the hall ignoring Urahara as he went, the light of the room adjacent to theirs catching his attention. He slid open the shoji doors and gasped at the sight that met him.

He had expected the young hollow to be asleep, especially at this time of night, but she was awake, passing the time reading from a book that the red head vaguely remembered being stored in one of Yuzu's library collections as well. She had been laying on her back with the book hovering over her face, what Ichigo really hadn't expected was for her head to be resting on one of Grimmjow's outstretched legs as he dozed lightly against the wall. As soon as Ichigo made his presence known, Nel looked up from her reading and smiled at the substitute shinigami, placing a finger to her lips signaling him to keep quiet, before looking up into Grimmjow's face assuring that he was still asleep as she lifted her head from his leg. She shuffled to the door as quickly and quietly as she could to wrap he tiny arms around Ichigo in a hug, looking up at him expectantly.

"Are ya leaving, Itsyugo?"

"Yeah, I have to go home, but I'll come back soon." he promised.

She smiled. "Okay, I'll wake Gwimm!" she announced and hurried over to the teal haired man's side to shake him awake before Ichigo could stop her in panic. Blue eyes opened groggily as they stared up into wide Hazel eyes. "Time for wakeys, Gwimm, Itsyugo wants ta leave." She smiled into his face.

Grimmjow looked up sleepily at Ichigo and then back at Nel. Ichigo half expected the male to push the child away from him in disgust or some other such emotion, not to smile gently at the girl before ruffling her hair and moving to stand. Ichigo heard muscles pop as Grimmjow stretched his back and neck after sitting in such an uncomfortable position.

"You didn't need to wait for me." Ichigo announced at the door, watching Grimmjow receive the jacket that had been tossed haphazardly to the floor.

"I wasn't waiting for you." Said Grimmjow with an air of malice. "She begged me not to leave yet." he grumbled the rest under his voice but Ichigo still heard and let the shock show on his face.

As if on key, Nel spoke up then. "Do you really have ta go?" she frowned up at the teal haired hollow. He sighed and shrugged into his jacket.

"Yeah."

"Itsyugo too?"

"Yep." He moved towards the door.

"But I don't want chu ta go." She whined, her face distorting into a mask if unbearable despair; strong enough to stab guilt into even Grimmjow's heart. The ex arrancar frowned down at the little girl.

"Don't worry, Nel," Ichigo said, moving towards the girl to place a hand on her head. "I'll come and visit you tomorrow." He couldn't speak for Grimmjow, though this new attitude of the males had him intrigued. Urahara. Throughout their conversation, hinted towards a significant change within the male to which Ichigo was blind. Sure Grimmjow didn't attack him every time he saw the orange haired shinigami and he didn't have to worry about the safety of his family, but there was only so much a person like Grimmjow could change. Ichigo was still doubtful and reluctant to give the man a chance.

"Why can't she stay with us?" Ichigo blinked, head turning slowly towards the other male.

"What?"

Grimmjow shrugged. "I mean, there's enough room at your house and I'm sure as hell Isshin wouldn't mind."

Ichigo's gaze went from Nel, who looked up at him pleadingly, back to Grimmjow in confusion. He had no problems against allowing the young hollow to come live with him and his family but he would never have thought Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques of all people would be the first to offer. Ichigo didn't' know whether to be surprised or afraid. He allowed his emotions to settle on suspiciously wary before he asked, "Amy reason for this sudden agreeable constitution?"

The blunette snorted. He did not feel like rehashing the entire conversation he had had with the young girl earlier in the afternoon. Ichigo, already suspicious of everything he did regardless of his intentions, would not accept that because of their decidedly extended stay in Karakura, it made more sense for Nel to stay closer to Grimmjow. "I just figure she'd be... you know, safer, staying with me than stupid sandals."

* * *

Kyo - Okay, I got tired of writing, so I'm going to leave it off here... Plus there's not much more I can put into this chapter~ did you guys miss me? I knew you didn't;; I've been in a writing funk... my RP buddy is 2 seconds away from strangling me... I don't know what's wrong D: At least I was able to get this chapter up. I was supposed to be finished with this story a year ago... pfft. There are still approx. 7 chapters to go, not including this one. I'll try my best to keep writing and giving you good chapters.

_Wherein a hollow is challenged._

_One defends ones capacity to love._

_And that darkness is compared._


	8. Tiene Usted Que

**Kyo** - This chapter is longer than normal.

**Chapter 8 - Tiene Usted Que Aprender A Dominar Su Genio. [You Must Learn To Control Your Temper.]**

_Wherein a hollow is challenged._

_One defends ones compacity to love._

_And that darkness is compared._

Ichigo had to agree that he did feel better with Nel living here with his family rather than at Urahara's shoten. It put him at ease to know that she was nearby. Safe. He didn't have to worry or wonder... After all that has happened in the past, it felt good to be at ease... If only his mind could calm down now, everything could be perfect, or at least as close to perfect as one can get.

There was just one factor of the girls appearance that he didn' t account for: the intervals of time between seeing Grimmjow during the day (or night for that matter) got shorter and shorter, the man was at (his) home much more often than Ichigo was use to and he wasn't sure if that in itself was a blessing or a curse. It was good in a sense that he knew where the espada was and that he wasn't causing any - major - trouble, but the down side was he was that he had to look at the man who he quite simply wanted to forget ever existed.

Thinking himself a more or less rational person, Ichigo tried to deny the notion that maybe it was because of Nel that the blunette hung around so much more often, but that was absurd. Grimmjow didn't care about Nel, or so he thought; though all facts point to the contrary. Coming home around 4 or 5 p.m. and finding the male vegged out on the couch with Nel hovering close by him was just a coincidence. However, if Grimmjow's behavior was strange, then Neliel's actions towards the former espada were just bizarre. Though she still doted on Ichigo whenever she could, which usually meant when he was at home and not studying, she treated Grimmjow not like the monster she once thought he was, but as something she admired or cherished. Very similar to the way she reacted towards Ichigo, though the two seemed closer now.

Weird.

Ichigo hated this feeling, looking at Nel and Grimmjow and seeing them so... happy. But it didn't make sense. Hollows are ghosts, powerful spirits with no hearts. Without a heart, how are they suppose to feel anything. Do they even remember what it's like to have any emotion? Aren't they only suppose op feel emptiness and a certain perpetual hunger? Why were they - meaning Grimmjow and Nel - like this now, when three years ago the male was little more that a raging animal, bent on destroying any and everything in his path, and Nel was determined to run away from the threatening affinities that crossed her path. But now, here they were, together, content, as if they were normal. As if they were human.

This bothered Ichigo.

So he did the only thing he could think of at the time: confront Grimmjow. The blue haired male was cornered and helpless... well about as helpless as Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques could get.

"Are you really Grimmjow?" The red head started without preamble. It was a warm Friday afternoon; he had no classes and Grimmjow decided - for whatever reason - to stay home. The bluenette nearly chocked on the bottled water he was drinking. He turned stunned blue eyes towards the substitute shinigami.

"What?"

"I'm serious." Ichigo deadpanned.

Grimmjow stared blankly at the soul reaper. Ichigo sighed.

"I understand that there have been some major... adjustments to your personality over these last couple of years. Shit, I don't know how you did it, but I'm grateful that it happened. Gives me one less thing to worry about..." Grimmjow's face looked as if he didn't particularly care for this conversation, his sudden movement to stand reaffirmed that observation and Ichigo threw out a hand to stop him.

"I ain't got time ta listen ta your feelings, shinigami." Grimmmjow huffed.

"Ok, fine. Just tell me something." A look of interest piqued Grimmjow's features, allowing the young shinigami to continue. "What are you doing here?"

The taller male let out a huff of irritation. "I thought we played this game already."

"But you never fully answered my question." He grouched, face molding into a frown. "And I think I have the right to know what you and Urahara are planning to do."

"Ya make it sound as if we're gonna destroy the world together." Grimmjow grumbled while sitting back down, gazing at the substitute soul reaper expressionlessly.

The orange haired male began to feel the first prickles of irritation. "Look, if you can sit here and have a normal conversation with me, without trying to slit my throat, then you can tell me why exactly Urahara did what he did. Why did he save you? Where have you been hiding these past few years? Why'd he bring Nel too? Why keep it from me for so long?"

Ichigo hated to admit it but he was partially hurt that Urahara would keep something this important from him. Of course he did not think he was privy to any information involving shinigami, but this was one happenstance where he should have been the first to know. Urahara should have understood that.

It never occurred to the young soul reaper that the shop keeper's actions were done with a greater purpose in mind. Urahara's actions had not been selfish or an act of spite, in actuality he had very good reasons for saving the two arrancar, ones that he rather kept hidden from the shinigami. He was well aware that his act could/would consequently frustrate and anger the teen, but was necessary.

But Ichigo was too stupid to come to that conclusion.

A long sigh released itself from Grimmjow's mouth. He wanted to tell the soul reaper that he would gladly slit his throat without hesitation if it had not been for the promise he made to Hat and Sandals. In fact, if the promise had not been made - or rather he had not been noble enough to uphold it - Grimmjow was certain he would do a lot worse to the shinigami. The look in the boy's eyes, however, showed the honest yearning for answers and since Ichigo obviously wasn't going to bother figuring this out on his own, Grimmjow decided to be nice and give him a point in the right direction.

"All right, Kurosaki, I'll tell you what ya need to know." The teenager's face brightened and he smiled. A place behind the ex-arrancar's heart tightened at the reaction and he scowled, "But I warn you, there ain't much I know either."

"Fine," he agreed, happy that he'll be able to get _some_ of his questions answered. "Okay, so, why did Urahara come back for you?"

"I dunno. If he had a reason, he never told me." Which was partially true, the shop owner never honestly expressed his motives for coming back for the Espada.

"But there must have been a reason why he gave you the gigai."

Grimmjow's shoulders lifted into a shrug. "Probably."

Ichigo grew irritated once more. Talking to Grimmjow was worse than talking to Urahara himself.

"Okay then, what about Nel? Why did he bring her back? Why has she been staying with him?"

This was an answer Grimmjow knew all too well. At the time, he couldn't understand it himself either, but as the blonde haired shop owners intentions became clear, then he really understood why he brought the girl back to the human world. But there was one thing Ichigo misunderstood. "He brought her here ta teach _**me**_a lesson. She's been hangin' around me since stupid hat gave us the bodies to use."

An important development, dark orange brows furled in confusion. Ichigo immediately asked, "Why?"

"Why what? Be specific, shinigami."

"I don't understand... Why bring her here just to settle her with you?" Grimmjow bristled at the insult but otherwise didn't react to it.

Instead he looked over the shinigami's contemplating face, wondering if he'd be nice and tell the teen everything. _Maybe I should make him work for it_. After all the boy did steal his prey... Ichigo looked over at the arrancar then, expectance in his eyes. "Well?" he waited. "Are you gonna tell me?"

Blue eyes narrowed. "You know, for someone who wants answers, you sure are asking the wrong fucking questions.."

Ichigo twitched. "Then what questions am I suppose to ask?"

"How about some that I can fucking answer! You not makin' this hella easy for my, shinigami." He all but yelled and brown eyes narrowed darkly as splotches of red littered his face in anger.

"You promised me you'd tell me what you knew!."

"I did. I told ya there was a limit to what I knew." The blunette chuckled irritatingly, resting his arms on the counter in front of him.

Even though he told himself that getting angry would only mean that the man in front of him had won, Ichigo growled in angered frustration. Whatever nonsensical notion that he had claiming that Grimmjow had changed even a little bit, flew out the window, soon to be followed by his sanity. If this situation was a simple as everyone claimed it was, why were they all keeping so much from him? Urahara had hinted that there was more that happened in Hueco Mundo that he was lead to believe and situations being what they were, he was only able to save the two espada that now resided in his home. Now, because of circumstance, the only one that can tell him anything, is being a self-centered prick about the subject. Ichigo pursed his lips in aggravation.

_If I get angry, he wins._

* * *

"Ichi-ni! Dad needs you to run to the grocery store!" Yuzu's voice yelled from the vicinity of the kitchen and Ichigo scowled, lifting his head from his Anthropology reoprt.

"Why can't he do it!" he yelled back only to frown more deeply when his father replied this time.

"Because Daddy is busy trying to keep a roof over his loving, beautiful children's heads. Yuzu-chan needs ingredients in order to cook a wonderful, nutritious meal for our family, so Ichigo-chan must go to the store~" Ichigo hated when the old man used that high-pitched, condescending partental tone with him. It made it sound like he was five years old instead of nineteen. He grumbled under his breath some more before he heard the man shouting again.

"If you're scared, I can have Grimmjow-kun go with you." After that he heard Nel jump in and drag Karin along as well. Ichigo cursed, slamming his book closed.

Ichigo stood in one of the long corridors of food, contemplating teriyaki nori and regular nori, worrying his lip between his teeth. Regular nori could be used for onigiri, but teriyaki nori by itself was a good snack. He couldn't remember which one was the choice his sister often picked; it had been a while since they all went out shopping together. He grabbed the regular nori after a short pause and turned to find the cart he let the other three occupants of this little outing take over. As soon as he found the three (in the snack isle) he regretted allowing the blue haired male to guide the cart wherever he wanted. All of the items Ichigo had picked out - which were very few - lay buried under every snack, sweet, cake and cookie the store had to offer. He closed his eyes and counted to ten, not wanting to cause a scene in front of anyone; though it was relatively late, there was still an abundance of shoppers roaming around the store.

"What the heck is all this?" he glared at Grimmjow who was leaning against the handle of the basket. The bluenette grinned.

"You said they could get whatever they wanted."

The vein in Ichigo's forehead threatened to burst. "Obviously I didn't mean the entire snack section. One or two items, that was it, how stupid can you be!" Grimmjow look affronted.

"Calm down... this isn't the entire section... We've only been through one isle." His smile widened again mischievously as the two culprits came storming around the corner with another load of candy in their arms. Ichigo sighed.

"We're here to buy food, candy is not food." He frowned down at Karin and Nel.

"But this tastes better." Nel grinned her toothless smile and offered up her armful to Grimmjow and placed it within the overflowing basket.

"And besides, Ichi-ni said we could have whatever we wanted." Karin added as she handed over her pile while sending a dangerous glare over to her brother.

"A-ah... " Ichigo smiled nervously before sending a glare over to Grimmjow who looked suspiciously smug, watching to the two girls disappear around the corner once more.

Grimmjow glanced boredly over the wall of snack items before pushing past a conflicted Ichigo. "Take care of the other stuff... I'll handle these two." He walked down the rest of the isle before turning and disappearing behind a wall of sweet bread the was on sale for half price.

Ichigo frowned at the three unloading the two carts in front of him towards the cashier, the small brunette woman smiled as she ran each item by the scanner dutifully.

"I thought you said you were going to handle this."

Grimmjow paused long enough to look back at the redhead. "I am."

"I may be wrong, but you seem to be doing the opposite."

"I said I'd handle it." Grimmjow sighed, frustrated.

That was when the substitute shinigami nearly blew his fuse. "How the hell is this handling it? Dad didn't give me enough money to pay- ...H-hey! What are you doing?"

He watched as the man reached into his back pocket and pulled out a wallet, extracting from it a variety of bills before giving them to Ichigo. When the orange haired teen made no move to take them, the bluenette shoved them in his face. "Take it." He studied the man carefully.

"W-why?"

"Like I said, I'm handling it." Grimmjow gruffed, snatching Ichigo's hand ans placing the money inside. The teen was slightly surprised to feel how warm it was. Even with every punch, kick, slap or occasional hug, he didn't remember Rukia's body feeling so... alive.

* * *

Ichigo had a theory, it wasn't a very good one, but it was the only one he had. Based on current behavioral patterns he has observed from Grommjow, he may have figured out a way to learn more about the hollow without the event blowing up in his face as it did earlier that day. Because of the civil and almost human manner Grimmjow had been displaying, he almost forgot the the ex-arrancar was psychotic. The reaction at the grocery store seemed to pull him farther away from his notion of the man being selfish and corrupt, even if he could have dealt with the situation differently, his intentions were still clear.

Anyway, Ichigo's theory included Grimmjow and Grimmjow's behavior once in the presence of certain others, namely Nel. he observed that when Nel was around, Grimmjow was on slightly better behavior than normal. So, he asked the girl a favor, to which the hollow trapped within a child's body replied yes. It was good to know that there was someone who would always be on his side, no matter what happened.

After dinner to which Yuzu casually commented would have been better with teriyaki nori, just as planned, Ichigo found Grimmjow in their shared room with Nel, watching as she insisted on him teaching her how to play one of the boardgames his father bought for the family when he was little. He vaguely remembered himself in the same position, grasping at the box and pleading a younger version of his father to teach him how to play. The thought of him comparing the two to himself unnerved the shinigami and he shook his head before heading into the room. The two were halfway through setup before he sat on the floor and offered to play as well. Nel immediately said yes, Grimmjow looked skeptical but didn't say anything.

Part way into the game Nel began to make up her own rules, which was fine since Grimmjow didn't understand the concept of the game and Ichigo forgot how to play midway. Leaving the girl to her own entertainment, Ichigo glanced up at the male sprawled over the bed, arms dangling over the edge, allowing him to move his piece across the board.

"So... what happened to you two during the time you were here by yourselves." Ichigo began casually, watching Nel push around peices in the wrong direction, declaring herself the winner.

There was really no reason to beat around the subject, so he decided to ask the ex espada outright after a long moment of contemplation. Beside, the quicker he asked, the less chance the man would have to dodge the question.

"What do you mean?" Came a bored reply.

"You and Nel, I want to know what happened while the both of you were..." He wasn't sure how to word it. "Traveling around together." Grimmjow glanced at him with a frown.

"Why do you keep pushing this, Kurosaki?"

In truth he didn't know the answer to that himself. If he had to guess it was because he was curious. How does one of Aizens most lethal weapons end up like this; a tamed animal looking after a lost child. It frustrated him. They were suppose to be dead, Grimmjow and Nel. All of the Arrancar were reported to have died, all of them, yet the two of them were alive. There was no way he wouldn't be curious as to how or why they weren't, even if he did feel relieved that they - meaning Nel - weren't.

"Humor me." The reply all but ignored Grimmjows previous question, causing the male to grunt in irritation. "You use to hate Nel. I remember a specific moment in time where you wouldn't have hesitated to kill her if you wanted." In his peripheral he saw Nel freeze and glance over to the side before resuming her now less enthusiastic play. He chose to ignore it for the time being. "But now it's different. You get along with her, my sisters, my dad and to some extent, me." Ichigo nearly surprised himself at the accuracy of his words, though the two were not the best of friends, it could certainly be said that they tolerated each other more throughout the entirety of the blue haired mans stay.

Grimmjow shifted and pulled his weight up to a sitting position so that now he could narrow his eyes down at Ichigo from his place atop the bed. "Isn't that a good thing, Kurosaki?"

A moment of serious contemplation.

"I don't know anymore."

As if torn, Grimmjow kept looking from Ichigo to Nel then back, wanting to get angry, but holding back. Ichigo didn't miss the movement, nor did he miss the thundering scowl that manifested within the blunette's features before dying away once he glanced at the little girl by his side. Blue eyes moved back to honey brown, a substitute shinigami unsure of the expression the owner of those eyes had. He tested the man again...

"Grimmjow... do you... l-love Nel?" It seemed absurd, the question that fell from his lips, but he asked it anyway. The young teen watched as a myriad of emotions passed over the hollows face before it settled on anger, though a heavy flush littered his cheeks in embarrassment. Ichigo understood the answer well before the blunette stumbled over his angry words of denial.

"The hell are you talkin' about, Kurosaki! O-of course I don't ... I mean... that's sick!" Ichigo allowed the corner of his mouth to quirk into a smirk.

"I don't mean like that, dumbass." He could barely hear the mumbled reply of 'What do you mean, then?' from the male as he fidgeted some. Grimmjow was no idiot, he knew what feelings were. He knew of love, he definitely knew what it meant to hate. But could he feel these emotions? He was a hollow, were they even allowed to feel anything remotely human? What did that say about himself? Was his own hollow able to feel anything but contempt for him? The apparition would claim his loathing was anything but, however it was difficult for the shinigami to believe considering the past actions of his anti-self.

"Compared to when we were in Hueco Mundo, in Las Noches... Your feelings towards Nel are different." Grimmjow's eyes slid towards the girl who was no longer interested in the board game in front of her. He large hazel eyes glanced from him to Ichigo in curiosity. Grimmjow scoffed.

"Just because I don't want to kill the brat automatically means I'm in love with her?" He crossed his arms over one another, staring down at the soul reaper in disgust. "That's sick. You're sick, Kurosaki."

"Loving someone and being in love is two completely different things, you ass!" He yelled and saw Nel flinch to whom he immediately apologized. Ichigo huffed aas he turned his head back to Grimmjow who looked a little more pensive than before. "Look, all I'm saying is that by the looks of it you managed to learn a lot more that I thought you capable of... than I thought any Arrancar capable of..." He said the last part under his breath so Nel wouldn't be able to hear him voice his doubts. He heard the creak of the bead as the bluenette growled threateningly.

Grimmjow took the two paces required to cross over to Ichigo before pulling the boy to his feet by his collar. He was pretty fed up with all his stupid, unnerving questions and was just about ready to put and end to it. "Why the hell do you keep saying shit like that? Like I shouldn't be able to feel anything, like I'm some type of walking corpse?"

"Because you shouldn't!"

"Itsyugo..." Nel's helpless cry went unheard.

"Your a hollows! Hollows don't know what to feel! All they do is hunger and eat, they aren't capable of feeling anything else."

"Jesus, shinigami..." He threw the teen away from him, raking his hands through his disheveled teal blue hair. "Are those the only words you know? How we 'can't' and aint able to feel shit? How do you know, huh? What, you think just cause you're half of what I am you know what I feel?" Ichigo flinched at the mention of his hollow. "You got your people you want to protect, I got mine, why can't you just leave it at that? Why do you have to make this such a big fucking deal? Why do you care?"

Ichigo only stared at the ex espada in bewilderment. Did he understand at all what he was saying, what he had just admitted to? Grimmjow wasn't stupid... he understood, but for whatever reason he didn't/couldn't admit it to Ichigo, perhaps not even to himself. Brown eyes gazed off to the side to look down at Nel who looked like she was on the verge of tears. It was when she allowed a broken sob to pass through did Grimmjow's eyes focus onto the girl. His eyes lost their anger and he stepped away from the shinigami.

"Sorry... Nel." He said softly then moved around the red head to walk out the door.

* * *

Kyo - You see in this chapter that Grimmjow can feel and has emotions - even if he is unaware/ refuses to admit it himself - but Ichigo just can't wrap that around his pretty little orange head. The 8th chapter and still no progress with their relationship, ha ha, but that's how I wanted it to be. This chapter really only sets the starting point in a way that makes our dear Ichi-face understand that anyone can change and it's best to give people second chances.

Ichigo - ... So I just accept that he has changed and that he is capable of loving someone other than himself? What then? I fall madly in love with him and beg for his man babies?

Kyo - THE KYO does not recognize the question.

Ichigo - Can I at least know if I ever find out what the hell happened to Grimmjow and Nel during the three years they were on earth?

Kyo - Of course you do.

Ichigo - When?

Kyo - Before you die.

**Chapter 9:**  
_Wherein there are more tears to be shed.  
Knowledge is passed down._

_And a shinigami is humbled._

_[The Kyo would like to note that there are no actual character deaths in this story. Character deaths were only vaguely hinted at in the first chapter... I believe.]_


	9. Ella Estan Callada

**Chapter 9 - Ella Estan Callada Por Su Lagrimas. [She Is Quiet In Her Tears.]**

_Wherein there are more tears to be shed.  
Knowledge is passed down._

_And a shinigami is humbled. _

It had been two whole months since Ichigo said to her the words that, in her heart, she thought he would never ever, ever say.

As time passed by Orihime began to look back despondently at their relationship throughout these past three years. They were happy. Weren't they? She couldn't remember a time where they had argued, a time where they were together and it wasn't the happiest time in her life. Even when they were apart she was happy, because that promised that she could see him soon. Wasn't that the recipe for love? Because their relationship was so stable, because she gave him everything, because she wore her heart on her sleeve, wasn't he supposed to accept it and love her back? What went wrong? Why didn't he love her as much as she loved him? It hurt to think about it still, but not as much as before.

Before she cried at the very mention of his name. She bemoaned the very thought of their relationship. She mourned its passing, hated its loss, and treated everything, every happy moment she had experienced with Kurosaki as if it had been a curse. As if it was never supposed to happen. She hated him for it, hated him for stealing her heart and then throwing it away.

In the months before, Orihime felt as if she would die, not being able to be with the one she loved. She knew Kurosaki tried to get in touch with her, tried to apologize, to make it better, but she pushed him away. Tatsuki was here with her for those first two weeks of despair and she allowed the feisty short haired girl to answer the phone calls she refused to take because she knew it was him. The once bright and bubbly girl knew it had been Ichigo trying to call with some excuse, some apology.

_Keep your apology... keep your sorry, sorry won't make it better_. That's what she thought, that's what Tatsuki screamed into the receiver any time the orange haired teen phoned her. Any time the subject was brought inevitably to light, anytime she cried and asked why. Why her? Why now? Why?

"He's an asshole, like the rest of them." She would say, angrily. "I thought he was different, I thought that jerk actually amounted to something. Keh, shows how much you can learn from a person. I'm glad you used protection, Hime, I can't imagine what I would do if you were carrying his bastard around."

She hated the tone of voice the girl used to refer their longtime friend; she loathed the fact that because of her, because of her stupid, weak feelings, Tatsuki probably hated Ichigo at that moment. She didn't want to be the cause of such rifts, not when Tatsuki had known Ichigo a whole lifetime longer than she had.

After she had dismissed the girl from her home, telling her that she would be fine, that she just needed some time to think over the situation, Orihime told herself that this, in a way, was her own fault. She allowed herself to be blind to what was happening. She allowed herself to see what was not there. While Kurosaki was drifting further and further away from her, she blindly followed, telling herself that it was okay, that he loved her.

_Not once in three years... how could I be so stupid._

As more time passed by, within Orihime's heart grew a sort of hatred for Ichigo that she couldn't describe. It frightened her because she loved him so much, even still, so how could she ever, ever hate him. She still remembered his words: _'I just don't love you the same way you love me.'_ She remembered the way he wouldn't give her a reason why, the way he averted his eyes as she started the cry... the way he attempted to console her as she did so... the way she ran away from him as she said she hated him. The way he let her go. Later that night, when she found herself in her room, crying tears she couldn't cry anymore, Orihime felt a sinking despair that could only be described as anger, rage, hurt, and humiliation. She had given him everything... everything... What was she left with in return?

A broken heart.

Stolen innocence.

She wanted to take it back. She wanted it to have never happened. She wished she never had fallen in love with Ichigo, but even as she hoped, even as she prayed to go back to when things were simple, when it was easy to just admire him from afar, she was still happy. '_I'm happy that it was with him_', was her final thought.

Tatsuki called her stupid, but she didn't blame her. Maybe she was.

Maybe she has always been.

And now, after everything. After forgetting what she could and storing away the things that she couldn't Inoue found herself short a friend. It wasn't his fault he couldn't fall as deeply in love with her as she had with him. No one can control their emotions; neither can they control the direction in which their heart is pulled. She didn't want this, she didn't want to be angry with Kurosaki, she wanted, even now, to be close to him even if it was just as friends. Time would heal her, she was sure.

So, it was this day that she decided, she would give him a chance. That night, the night that Ichigo Kurosaki broke up with her, she disallowed for any type of closure when she ran away from his house. She would give him a chance to say all that he wanted and she would listen with open, understanding ears, then, if he allowed, she would say all that she wanted to as well. Then, if fate allowed it, she would accept him back into her life as a dear friend. She would inform Tatsuki she did not have to threaten to castrate the male whenever he tried to call or get near her. Everything would go back to normal.

* * *

Despite his ever playful demeanor, Isshin was incredibly easy to talk to, when he found it necessary to be serious. Though today the man woke up and left most of his matureness in bed, Grimmjow found that at least he wasn't making fart jokes. Lately he found that he couldn't really talk to or tell anyone about what had been going on between him and Ichigo. It wasn't like he had friends to tell these things too and he was getting tired of running back and forth to Urahara's shop to ask for advice. Grimmjow informed Isshin about his son's affinity to doubt/reject anything out of reach of moral reasoning. To which the shinigami turned human replied:

"Too bad for you, my son is an idiot. Ha ha ha!" He clapped him on the back and Grimmjow grumbled under his breath. When he sobered from his laugh he turned to the blue haired male. "But that's how Ichigo has always been; extremely stubborn; you should know this by now." Grimmjow nodded.

"It's agitating... trying to ignore my instincts by living my life as a fucking human and then having all the shit I've been trying not to do thrown in my face because of what I did in the past."

"Well..." Isshin began to reason with an eerily knowing glint in his eye. "Old habits die hard."

"Yeah, but even when they are dead, those habits come back ta bite ya in the ass any time ya do somethin' wrong." It was amusing the way the ex arrancar practically pouted.

Isshin laughed again. "Why are you letting what my son says get the best of you. Ignore him, trust me, you'll be better off."

"I cain't just ignore 'im!"

Black eyebrows rose in surprise. "Oh? Why not?"

"... Your fuckin' son... since I came back... he's always been in my head. Every move I've made since I made the deal with stupid hat guy, he's always been the base for my judgment. You know, thinkin'... always thinkin' if I was making the right decision and... if-if Ichigo would do the same thing..."

The elder Kurosaki smiled, "And how do you think you did?"

Grimmjow grunted, pushing his hands through his hair. "I... -sigh- ... I tried my best. I took care of the brat, you know. She doesn't hate me."

"Yeah... seems like she holds you in as high a regard as she does Ichigo." He smirked at the expression Grimmjow gave, though the hollow hadn't matured enough to blush, his face told the other signs of embarrassment.

"Well... she doesn't scream and cry when I'm around, that's for sure..." Grimmjow mumbled almost angrily. Isshin wanted to smile again but figured it would be a bad idea, so his face remained impassive.

"But because of her you changed your nature, I'm guessing." He added hastily at the 'How did you know' look the bluenette threw him. This time he did smile when the male nodded at him absently. "What happened to change your mind about her, if you don't mind sharing?"

Grimmjow hesitated. It wasn't as fascinating as everyone expected it to be. Urahara had jumped to the conclusion that he had some type of life changing epiphany, he didn't really care what Ichigo thought happened, though he was suspecting the boy to ask him about it again sooner or later. Finally sighing, he found no harm in telling the truth, he wished he could dramatize the whole ordeal but there was nothing there to exaggerate.

"She was in trouble, scared. She needed me... so I helped her. Before I thought of her as a nuisance, something hat guy foisted on me to try and get me to behave. After that day, though, I wanted-... needed to protect her."

"Hmmm..." The elder Kurosaki thought there would be more, but expected the hollow to hold back on any of the grimy details. "And here you are... and now she's safe and I'm sure Ichigo-chan will come around eventually too, he can't stay biased for long." Grimmjow grunted.

"If this keeps up I was thinking about leaving before I do something I'd regret."

"Why don't you? ... Leave, I mean. It's not like you're bound to this place."

Grimmjow understood that, and besides it had been past his time to leave, he had even save up money from his part time jobs so that he and Nel could go somewhere nice and stay for a while. But he couldn't just leave, Nel had been reunited with Ichigo, she wanted to stay near him and, if possible, Grimmjow as well. He couldn't just deny her that. _Gods, I've gone soft..._ To think, if his former comrades could see him now, no doubt they'd ask questions.

_What happened to the invincible, indestructible Sexta Espada?_

_Tamed by a little girl and, inadvertently a good for nothing substitute shinigami_, he'd reply.

He sighed. "Because Nel would cry."

* * *

"Maybe you should be a little more open about these things, Kurosaki-kun and accept the truth." said Urahara calmly while sipping his tea.

Ichigo tsked and slammed his fist on the table, disrupting the tea cups that rested there. "Open about what? That a hollow: the very definition of emotionless, can spontaneously feel love? For that of his own kind? I'm sorry if I'm a bit skeptic here, Urahara, but it's Grimmjow we're talking about. Grimmjow fucking Jeaggerjaques. I don't think he had a heart even when he was alive!"

"You're being judgmental, Kurosaki-kun~" he sing-songed behind his fan, looking up at the orange haired boy mysteriously.

"I'm being honest." And he was, Hollows, as stated so many times before, lacked basic human emotion, making them little more than monsters. Vasto lordes might have a more humanoid form, but they are still hollows, more powerful monsters.

Kisuke huffed and snapped closed his fan. "You're so quick to demean Grimmjow's feelings, but what about Nel, hmm?" He poked at the air in front of Ichigo's face with his closed fan. "If you say that it's impossible for Grimmjow to feel, you're saying the very same thing about Neliel. You're admitting that she's just as much a monster as he is." The shop owner sat back down at his place in front of the low set table and flicked open his fan again, waving it in front of his face. He waited for the Kurosaki to sit back down before he continued, watching the male from behind his fan. "Because she is... a monster, I mean."

"Nel is not a monster." The teen growled.

"I see we have some issues with double standards, ne?" Ichigo turned away grumpily and Urahara sighed. "Have you been paying attention these last few months, Kurosaki?"

The teen blinked stupidly at the shopkeeper. "Paying attention to what?"

Urahara made a sound as if to say 'Of course you haven't'. "I can't be the one to spell it out for you, Kurosaki. That defeats the purpose. You have to see it for yourself. Pay attention while you're at home. Observe. If at the end of the week you still feel that nothing at all has changed within Grimmjow, then I will crown you king of all skeptics and tell you anything you wish to know."

"And If I do see a change?" The redhead said angrily, however the bet caused his interest to pique.

The ex-shinigami smirked. "If you find that something has changed, then congratulations, you're not as dense as I thought."

As angry as those words might have made Ichigo, they also aroused some questions within him that he couldn't shake from his head. He would push them to the back of his mind for now and focus on what Urahara had told him, though it would be difficult. Since their little argument the week before, Grimmjow has made it a point to avoid Ichigo whenever possible; leaving the room whenever Ichigo got home, going to bed long before or way after Ichigo, getting up before him so he wouldn't have to be in the room. It was a little childish but the eldest Kurosaki child supposed he had no one else to blame other than himself.

Now, though, since the ex-espada was so proficient at hiding himself whenever the substitute shinigami made his appearance, Ichigo had no other choice than to ask the people whom Grimmjow was around the most for their feedback on how the male was behaving himself. He had made a point to make an attempt at searching for change within the blue haired male, but that was difficult seeing as the man didn't want to look at his face at the moment and made obvious yet effective attempts at evasion, so he tried the next best thing. Would this plan blow up in his face as so many others had?... only time would tell.

His first interview was with the person who spent the most time around the hollow, someone who wouldn't lie or give incorrect answers no matter what he asked her. Ichigo purposefully waited until the blue-haired threat was out of the vicinity to approach the small girl.

"Hey, Nel!" He gave her a smile when she turned and grinned back up at him.

"Itsyugo! Are you heaw to pway wif Nel?" She held up her favorite pastime; a worn coloring book and a handful of crayons. Ichigo decided that, for information's sake, he would indulge her. He grabbed one of the other coloring books and opened to a semi-clean page. He adopted the same pose Nel had, lying on the floor on his stomach, supported by his arms, before grabbing a green crayon and setting to work coloring something that looked like a blob of hair.

"So... Nel..." He began casually. "What's it been like, you know, living with Grimmjow?" He saw the crayon in the young girls hand pause for a moment before it continued.

"Why?" She didn't look at him.

"Well... because I want to know."

Suddenly, Nel turned her hazel eyes towards Ichigo and he stared at the look that was held within them. One did forget that she was a lot older than she appeared to be, combined with her childish demeanor, it was nearly impossible to know the small child in front of Ichigo could hold such a mature expression. "You reawy don' wike Gwimm, do you, Itsyugo." It wasn't a question and Ichigo didn't have enough proof to deny it. She stared at him a moment longer before turning back to her coloring book. He thought she wasn't going to answer him until she suddenly began to speak again. "In da beginning, you were all he tawked about. He would say how he hated you and othew mean things..." Ichigo could only imagine all the colorful words Grimmjow used to describe his feelings towards him.

"But den, one day, he stopped tawkin' bout you. He always ask why I wiked you so much. Gwimm said der was no diffwence between you and him, so I should wike him too, he said I didn't hafta be afwaid of him." Nel stopped coloring in order to look into Ichigo's semi-shocked face. "After that he pwotected Nel wike Itsyugo always does. He pwomised to be nice and stop fighting things." She put down her crayon and sat up on her knees to survey her coloring; Nel nodded and rose to place the sheet of paper on the kitchen counter, where Yuzu would eventually find a place to put it on the refrigerator door. When she was finished she turned around and smiled at Ichigo.

"Gwimm takes me to wots of pwaces." She said excitedly, the serious tilt to her lisp laden voice all but gone now. "He buys me things and takes care of me. He says that if he doesn't den you gonna get angwy and take me away." Her voice grew slightly somber, but the smile stayed on her face. "And he don't want that ta happen."

"Grimmjow tells you these things?" Ichigo asked, voice dry.

Neliel shook her head. "Some stuff I heaw when he tawk wif Hat-san." She exclaimed, patting her head with both hands to emphasize who she meant. "Udder stuff he said when he thought I was sweeping."

Ichigo had wanted to ask her more, but Karin had entered the room and announced that Nel's bathwater was ready. The little girl bounced out of the room in front of Ichigo's younger sister, who had glanced behind her to look at her brother curiously before following the green haired girl upstairs.

Between Nel's startling confession and Karin's praise of how well the hollow could kick a soccer ball, to Yuzu's delight of his usefulness around the kitchen, Ichigo didn't know what to think. It was beginning to become glaringly obvious that Grimmjow did change during his three years absence. Whatever happened, whatever effect spending time with Nel had achieved, it worked. The man was mellower than Ichigo had ever seen, he still had an attitude, but he guessed you couldn't completely get rid of all the bad aspects of someone's personality

But, wasn't that a good thing? Why was he feeling so conflicted over this fact? Because of this, because he had found something to protect... something to love, Grimmjow wasn't the same blood thirsty monster he had once been. No more death. No more destruction. This was good, but something still troubled the young shinigami.

His father was the final person to ask, seeing as he spent less time around the hollow than all of his other family members, yet it was more time then Ichigo managed. Unfortunately the old man found Ichigo first and attempted a body slam, in which the teen managed to wiggle away from.

"Damn it, why are you so insane!" the red head yelled, twitching when his father laughed.

"Life throws you obstacles of many sizes and shapes; you have to be prepared for each of them, my beautiful Ichigo!"

* * *

**Kyo** - So... I updated. -banzai- And Grimmjow was OOC in this chapter. -banzai- Expect more OOC moments from him and Ichigo in the future.  
You guys are bad at telling me what you think about this story. Let's see how talkative you get after the next chapter.  
But then I won't want to talk to you, or be your friend.  
So there. :P

**Chapter 10:**

_Wherein chemistry is noticed.  
Respect is given.  
And emotions are set to override._


	10. No Lo Puede

**Chapter 10 - No Lo Puede Usted Confundir. [You Can't Mistake It.]**

_Wherein chemistry is noticed.  
Respect is given.  
And emotions are set to override._

Grimmjow had been thinking a lot about what he and Isshin had discussed previously. He _could_ just get up and move out on his own, he had the money for it. He could probably afford a nice sized flat he and Nel could live comfortably in. He wouldn't even mind getting something that was near the Kurosaki home, as long as he didn't have to live in this scrutiny. Hell, he could even book a plane and fly to Spain like he planned on doing before Nel had begged him to stay here; he couldn't refuse the girl when she begged him with her wide hazel eyes and funny looking face.

Come to think of it, he didn't even have to stay here himself. Nel would be fine here on her own, the two girls could take care of her while he wasn't around and he was sure he could get Urahara to forge up the documents needed to check her into school… This option was heavily considered until Grimmjow found he didn't like the thought of being away from the girl for too long.

"Why does it matter, it's not like she'll die if I'm not there." He mumbled to himself, scowling slightly. He was upset.

Upset because he wanted to leave, but didn't. Upset because even though Nel could survive on her own; he didn't think _he_ could. Upset because Ichigo wouldn't understand, wouldn't accept him for who he was now. What really upset the former espada was the fact that he wanted the shinigami to, wanted him to notice that he was different, that he wasn't just a monster. He didn't live to cause destruction anymore, he didn't want to honestly. Grimmjow couldn't understand why Ichigo couldn't see that.

Grimmjow could feel the same ache as before attacking his chest. This had been happening to him a lot lately and he couldn't understand why. He didn't like the feeling; it felt as if a clawed hand was attempting to rip his heart right from his ribcage. Times like these, he wished he hadn't agreed to the gigai. In spirit form, he wondered, would he have the same feelings? Would things have ended up the same? He guessed that all depended on the idea that hollows really didn't have hearts. They lacked the physical form of a heart, the organ no longer resides within their body, true, but a heart is not only physical.

Here in Japan they called it your center, where all your energy flows, in China its called chi. In America, he had heard it referred to as your spirit, the driving force of your emotions. Feelings were not holed up within a beating bag of flesh; true heart resonates deeper, into your very soul. Didn't Ichigo understand that? Fuck, he'd only just barely come to the conclusion himself.

Just because you take away the tangible organ, doesn't mean the metaphysical matter is lost. He had forgotten where he heard the statement, probably from sandal-hat, maybe from the TV; it didn't matter because it was true. What does a heart do? It pumps blood into the different organs of the body, that is what it evolved to do; that is why humans need it. If the human body could function without a heart and the part was removed, would that human become an empty shell? By taking away one part of the body, did you change everything about this person? Can this person no longer laugh, cry, hate or love?

He just thought about it like this: It could all be just a load of bullshit and he really didn't remember what it was like to feel or have emotions. He was just going on instinct, or he wished for it so much that he only thought he cared for things he really wouldn't give two shits for.

Or it was real and he did love Nel, as Ichigo had so articulately worded it.

Grimmjow scratched at the back of his head, irritated. He hated how much thought was being put into this. Life should be simpler; not easy, just less complicated. He hated the way it sounded as if his feelings were affected by the substitute shinigami and how he had been making excuses for the boy. The twinge in his chest happened again and he let out an angry breath, disturbing the quiet bundle next to him.

Did he care about what Ichigo said because he had feelings for him? If so he thought these so called feelings were fucked up because the way they reacted towards the red head, the way his heart almost jumped when the teen was around, mirrored the way he reacted to Nel. It wasn't exact, there were some differences, but it was close, he was sure.

* * *

So Ichigo had been wrong. So what, he was wrong about a lot of things; everyone is entitled to a mistake every once in a while. The talk he had with his dad had only confirmed his latest error.

"... You know he's really trying his hardest..." His father said, condescendingly.

"At what? Not strangling me."

Isshin just laughed loudly. "Everyone that meets you wants to strangle you."

"Thanks, Dad."

"What I mean is he's trying hard to show you how much he's changed. It may not seem like it and because of Grimmjow's personality and the encounters you two have had in the past might get in the way of your judgment, but there is a difference." Ichigo nodded, he was afraid his old man would say something reasonable like that. However he was surprised that anything but nonsense could be spewed from his mouth.

"Why are you so reluctant to believe in him anyway?"

The red head sighed again. He had almost forgotten that his father wasn't there three years ago when everything had started. He hadn't been there when the first of the Espada's landed; Yammy and Ulquiorra. He hadn't been there later when Grimmjow tore through the sky, him and his countless fraccion.

"It's hard for you to understand, Dad... you weren't there. You didn't see what he did... what he did to Rukia. He nearly killed her. If I hadn't been there she would have-" He let the last part of the sentence hang in the air, hoping his father would get the hint. When he looked up at the whiskered man, Isshin had a hard look on his face, it was scary serious. Ichigo almost wished he would laugh or say/do something stupid to break the mood. He was good at being goofy; Ichigo didn't like seeing him so stone-faced.

Admittedly, this was something Isshin was not aware of and he contemplated heavily on the subject but said nothing in response.

"Then," Ichigo continued when he felt his father had nothing in response. "... in Hueco Mundo, he was so cruel to Inoue... not to mention he terrified Nel-"

"Ichigo, can I ask you a question?"

The substitute shinigami was slightly irritated at being cut off but he nodded his head anyway.

"Why do you hate Grimmjow?" His son snorted as if the answer was obvious. When Isshin didn't look satisfied his mouth gaped open.

"Are you serious? Weren't you listening to anything I just said?"

"Yeah." Isshin nodded, scratching at his beard. "I heard you explain how he was mean to others, albeit they were close to you, but you haven't described any personal, psychological or physical harm he's done to you."

Ichigo wondered why his father was so stupid. He contemplated on the fact that he was really his offspring.

"Aside from what he's done to me, hurting my friends is worse."

"And that's enough to warrant indisputable hatred?" The father asked seriously.

"Yes."

For long, uncounted moments, Isshin merely stared at his son. He blinked a few times before, out of nowhere - though Ichigo should have seen it coming- his fist collided with his son's face. Ichigo fell off of the chair he was seated in and tumbled over onto the floor. After a moment of painful grunting the teen stood up and yelled at his sporadically violent father.

"What the hell was that for?" Suddenly, Isshin burst into tears.

"I just don't know where I went wrong with him, _Masaki_!" He got up to throw himself at the over-sized poster of his dead wife. "In the years since your passing I thought I had guided him on the straight and narrow path of forgiveness. Oh, my beloved wife I would never have thought our beautiful baby boy would grow up to be such a jackass. Forgive me, my love! Forgive me!" He began to blubber and Ichigo stomped over to kick him in the side.

"The hell are you talking about, old man? Why can't you be serious for once?"

Isshin just wailed louder. "You see! He yells at me when I'm just trying to make him see how Grimmjow is making up for his behavior by protecting one of the things our dear Ichigo cherishes. But he doesn't understand, he doesn't see. He's stupid. I have failed you, Masaki, love!"

That was when Ichigo lowered his foot from his position poised to kick his father in the face. Though he was being melodramatic and quite ridiculous (as usual) he was saying something rather significant at that moment. Grimmjow was protecting Nel; he had even said so himself. Nel had confirmed the fact. She said that Grimmjow had compared himself to him. Said he was just as good as protecting her as Ichigo was. Why? The differences to their personalities were so astounding, why would he feel the need to compare the two? Ichigo wanted to hate it, hate the fact that the hollow was comparing himself to him, but he didn't

Why?

* * *

It had only taken two days. Two whole days since Urahara suggested he paid more attention at home, to his surroundings, to Grimmjow. It took only a couple of days for Ichigo to learn that, yes, something very important changed within the former espada. Something that made him understand, at least partially, the concept of protecting someone for the sake of protecting them and without any underlying motives. He learned what it was like to not be selfish, to live for someone else's benefit.

He wasn't confused anymore. Ichigo understood that he let his past prejudices fog his view a little too much of what was happening right in front of him. He didn't see because he didn't want to see. He was so caught up in the notion that Grimmjow was so evil, Grimmjow was so bad that he couldn't perceive the change within the person he had been so obsessed over these past few months.

Ichigo went back to the question his father had asked him. Why did he hate Grimmjow so much? He could say that he was angry at what the arrancar had done in the past, but he had never been one to hold grudges. His first fight with Ishida, the Quincy had endangered the lives of hundreds of people by snapping that bait and beckoning the hollows into this dimension. But afterwards they had fought side by side together, even now he could call on the archer for help and the male would be willing to give it… probably. When Rukia's life had been put in danger, the people he fought to save her, afterwards he had forgiven them, as they had forgiven him. His differences with Soul Society had been put on hold to rescue Orihime from Las Noches. All of his enemies had become his allies and, to some extent, his friends.

Why was it so difficult to accept that within Grimmjow? Was it because he was a hollow? Then if that were true he would have to deny Shinji and all of the other Visoreds because they were half hollow as well. He couldn't really understand it, nor could he place the reason, but he couldn't forget or push the blue haired male out of his mind. Ichigo realized, for the first time since all of this started, that he knew absolutely nothing about Grimmjow. The man had been staying at his home, interacting with his family (which he supposed considering the amount of information they gave him), and yet he had yet to even strike up a conversation that didn't end with either of them cursing at one another.

Excuse him for not wanting to kiss the ass of a man he'd been archenemies with.

Even that statement didn't sound right. Sure Grimmjow announced that he hated the shinigami a multitude of times, but never had he proclaimed him an _enemy_. What word did he use? Rivals, maybe? Rivals were different than enemies. Enemies hated and wanted to destroy each other. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were enemies, though Ichigo couldn't imagine what the somber arrancar could have done to spark the sexta's fury. Then again there wasn't much that didn't make Grimmjow angry.

Ichigo had begun to walk upstairs to his room, deep in thought. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something. Was everyone else in on something he didn't know about? Why couldn't he just accept the fact that Grimmjow wasn't the way he used to be and people weren't going to randomly end up dead in the streets? The blue haired hollow has been on his best behavior. So...

"Why do I hate Grimmjow so much?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

The deep voice had jarred Ichigo out of the thought he had not known had been spoken out loud and he looked up at the subject of his current confliction. He almost forgot the male was here, it had been quite some time since Grimmjow threw him a heated glare before leaving the room. Now, however, he lay on Ichigo's bed (a fact that slightly irritated the teen since the arrancar did it often) on his back with his head resting above his folded arms. He would have kicked the male out of his bed had it not been for the sleeping bundle of Nel resting on Grimmjow's chest, face cozying against a rumpled piece of paper and coloring pencils littering the floor.

"It's good to see you two are comfortable..." The sight of Nel snuggling innocently against Grimmjow's chest caused an uncomfortable ache in Ichigo's heart. He shook his head and continued before it affected him too much. "Maybe I should uh, call Yuzu to... ah, come and take her off your hands." He suggested, moving back towards the door.

"Why? I don't mind and she's comfortable like this. Let her be for a while." Grimmjow threw him a steady look that seemed to dare Ichigo to challenge him.

Just like that, Ichigo snapped. He'd had enough; enough of what, he couldn't say at the moment, but he was sure it was all he could handle. "What is the matter with you? Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what, Kurosaki?"

"This! Nice and, and... and _caring_! It's bull-"

"I'll advise you to lower your fucking voice, shinigami." The blue haired arrancar interrupted him, hinting at Nel who was still asleep. He didn't expect this to happen now, off all times. Grimmjow wanted to be well-rested and not so irritated from his previous conversation with himself, for this confrontation. Though, he supposed, this wasn't so surprising, he never really could figure the young shinigami out.

"Damn it..." Ichigo stared at Grimmjow and Nel, the frown on his face softening before disappearing beneath an expression Grimmjow couldn't place. He wanted the red head to yell at him again, accuse him of something, so he could have a reason to kick his ass.

"This is really for real? You-... I mean, you _really_ care for her?" Because he had been waiting for some kind of snappish statement, Grimmjow was put off a little and responded to the teen with a blank stare.

Ichigo shifted on his feet, placing his hands in his faded jean pockets. He didn't meet the other's eyes. "You can say it, I won't like, call you a wuss or anything like that."

Grimmjow kept his cerulean eyes on the teen, confused. He didn't know if he wanted to be angry at Ichigo for the unappreciated repetitiveness of his words or give in and say what he had really been feeling. The latter didn't seem appealing and Grimmjow was really tired of getting angry.

"You can't say it can you?" As soon as the words slipped out of his mouth, Ichigo felt the immediate sensation of deja vu. He remembered being asked that very question, feeling cornered and exposed. Hadn't he learned anything? For a fleeting moment, he felt bad for the arrancar, he felt ashamed for his actions, but his temper got the best of him. Plus, he needed to know, he needed to be sure.

"Why is this so fucking important, Kurosaki?" Though the blue haired male had been annoyed, the words were said calmly, almost monotonously. Ichigo made a face.

"I'm not really sure. I mean, I believe what Urahara and my dad were saying, but... I want to hear it from your mouth."

"..."

"Just say it."

"... -an't."

"What?"

"I said I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I-I… I don't… know."

Ichigo didn't understand, obviously, because Grimmjow showed blatant signs of deep affection towards Nel. He knew this stuff, he studied it thoroughly; he hadn't taken psychology for his own health. He forgot most of the terms but was aware that Grimmjow had emotions, just didn't know how to communicate them. "Come on, they're only words, three little words won't kill yo-"

And the reason why amateurs shouldn't practice psychology:

"I can't say it because I don't know!" He didn't want to yell, didn't want to get angry. For once, Grimmjow was going to take Urahara's advice and talk to the shinigami with a level head, but there was no talking to the redhead, just shouting and arguing and punching. "I don't know what the hell this…" Gesturing vaguely towards Nel, he lowered his voice some, "… is." His conscience was screaming at him for screaming when he cursed at the substitute soul reaper to be quiet. He did, however, lift himself up onto his forearms in order to speak more clearly, causing Nel to roll over onto his stomach, still fast asleep.

Ichigo blinked wide coffee brown eyes at the male in front of him. He might have judged Grimmjow incorrectly… again. He looked down at the teal haired little girl when the ex-espada began speaking again, his voice quieter, more hesitant; confused.

"It's the first time in my miserable existence that I've felt like this, so I don't know what the fuck ta to call it. You keep saying that its love, Urahara says its affection; your dad calls it something else. I don't understand all these words and technical bullshit." His voice was angry then, only slightly though, Ichigo noticed. "I-… all I know is: the most important thing in _my life_ right now, the thing that I _have_ to protect is lying right here in my arms." He patted Nel's head affectionately causing the girl to scrunch up her face in sleep.

Ichigo was speechless… Just like he had his family and later on his friends, just like Ichigo, Grimmjow had found something to keep him grounded, to keep him sane, he found someone he needed to protect. It was an act of surprising selflessness that the soul reaper thought he would never see from someone like Grimmjow. In his own way, Grimmjow had admitted that he loved and cared for Nel. He wanted to protect her, to stay by her side, even at the expense of being driven crazy by Ichigo and his family. And Ichigo could respect that, he really could.

"What? You got nothin' else ta say, shinigami?" The hollow looked up into brown eyes wearily, but ready to pick a fight if he had to. Ichigo shook his orange head despondently, before answering the man.

"… I get it, okay?"

"Get what? That I have a brain? That I know how to use it? That I can show a little self-restraint despite the fact that I'm not good enough to be declared human in your world? That you're a fuckin' prick who can't recognize anything for what it is? Tell me when to stop, shinigami, cause I got more." Ichigo sighed. He deserved that, but he wasn't going to let the male insult him as he pleased.

"I get what you, Urahara, my Dad… even Nel was trying to tell me. I just… I understand now." Grimmjow made a sound of mild disbelief but decided that it was good for now, as long as the shinigami wouldn't wrack his fucking nerves anymore, then it was fine.

"Aside from what I did in the past, why do you hate me so much?" The arrancar asked offhandedly, he was entitled to his own questions as well, was he not?

Ichigo scoffed and moved towards the bed, sitting on his desk chair just in front of Grimmjow. "I don't hate you."

"Pfft…"

Like he could believe that.

Ichigo scowled. "Seriously, I don't. I mean, I did, don't get me wrong. There was a time when I could have just killed you, happily… But not now. I don't hate you as much… anymore." And it was true, on some levels. Grimmjow hadn't done anything that warranted any extreme violence, hate or hostility on Ichigo's part; though it didn't keep the substitute shinigami from being cautious.

"I was just pissed. We lost so many people in Hueco Mundo, so many… I tried to protect as many as I could; I wasn't just fighting for myself. Even the arrancar, until Ulquiorra, I hadn't killed a single one." He saw Grimmjow bristle at the name but chose to ignore the reaction and keep talking. "After I fought Aizen," another angry glare, "…after I was healed, I came back, but they told me it was too late."

He had tried his best to help, but the Fourth and Twelfth Division captain shooed him away from the area and he was forced to go back to Karakura with the rest of the humans. He was glad for the people he was able to save, even though some were hurt in the process… But still, they were all supposed to come back alive.

"When Unohana came, I left Nel with Inoue… After out fight, when Kenpachi showed up to fight Nnoitorra, you were still alive… just barely. I thought I had time... No one told me what happened; they said it wasn't my concern anymore." The teen's hands tightened into fists so taut his knuckles began to turn white. Ichigo was leaning forwards, his arms on his knees; grimacing eyes were focused on the floor, almost as if he was reliving that day, that moment.

"I mourned for three years; I dealt with that pain over and over again… Then, out of the blue, after I had come to terms with what happened, you show up and then Nel, I was so happy and so fucking pissed all at the same time." His voice broke slightly and he hoped Grimmjow hadn't noticed. Ichigo never got the chance to say what he had felt after that day, everyone just assumed he was okay, that he was strong and could get over a few losses. In truth he never got over it, he learned to deal with his mistake and hope to the spirits in charge that it would never happen again.

So he pretended to be strong, not wanting even his friends to see his weakness.

But, it was Grimmjow that saw through his façade as he continued, leaning back into the chair. "I thought I fucked up, I thought it was too late." He shrugged, his words feeling to honest. "I was disappointed, I wouldn't have admitted it at the time but I enjoyed fighting you, I found it funny when Neliel fussed over me like some overprotective younger sister. Even the ones I fought before, like Don Panini, I was so fucking angry when I found out you were gone."

"Why?" The hollow had been so quiet during his little rant that he almost forgot who he was talking to, that being the first question the male asked since he started speaking. Ichigo had yet to look up from the floor, so he couldn't tell the expression that came with the question.

"Hmm?" The teen looked up into curious blue eyes and frowned. Had he missed something? "_Why_? …Why What?"

"Don't fucking play coy, Ichigo. Why did you care?"

"I don't know… Maybe I-I… maybe I'm too soft. Maybe I'm just sentimental." He had heard it a lot, from his friends, Rukia, Ishida, from Renji and others, from his dad. It was hard not letting things like that go, he often found himself, more often than not, dwelling on the past. Orihime was a nice distraction, he thought rather guiltily. _Is that all I saw her as? A distraction?_

"Maybe you would have missed us." _Missed me_. Grimmjow mused, not hating the idea that Ichigo cared and being confused by both the thought and not wanting the puke because of it. On the contrary, it was a pleasant notion. _The fuck is wrong with me_?

Ichigo's shoulders bristled at the statement. "I just didn't want anyone to get hurt, no casualties on either side, that's what I wanted."

"You missed us, that's why you mourned us-Nel." He saved, Ichigo none the wiser. This was getting tiring. "That's why you built that grave."

Little did he know he had hit the nail on the head; Ichigo was sad, in his grief he built a memorial. When his sorrow got the best of him, he would go to that memorial and pour his hear out, sometimes he would cry, other times he would just stare at the stone, mostly he would just pray to become stronger so that he could protect those he cared for better, so that he wouldn't have to build something that painful ever again.

"You're fucking crazy, Grimmjow."

"Wow, denial, didn't see that coming." Heavy sarcasm.

"Fuck you." The teen stood, quite prepared to leave the room, but the hand gripping his arm was strong enough to prevent him from going anywhere. Ichigo turned to look back at the blue haired arrancar, anger in his eyes. He really didn't feel like doing this anymore, he was given another taste of what Grimmjow had been experiencing. Was he this annoying? _Fuck._ "Let me go."

"Just admit it." The grip on his arm didn't soften nor did the eyes of the man that kept him captured.

The redhead was getting desperate; he tried yanking his arm away from the hollow with lack of results. Ichigo pried at the fingers around his forearm but they were like steel. He had forgotten this was a man who could stop his blade with one hand while he was in his bankai form. He stopped struggling but continued to shake his head regardless.

"No… damn it…" He was pulled closer by his wrist, his heart thumping within his chest.

"… Ichigo." Grimmjow said sternly. The man should have looked ridiculous, half lying on a bed with a little girl huddled asleep on his stomach, eyes serious as his left hand continued pulling the shinigami closer. Contrary to the way it looked, Grimmjow had the upper hand.

Grimmjow was finally able capture the shinigami's upper arm in his hand and tug him even close. The redhead stumbled up to the bed and was brought down face to face with a teal haired hollow buy the strong grip on his arms. Ichigo winced but his hear sped up at the proximity of the male's face.

"Be honest, shinigami."

"I…" _Shit_… "I missed you."

Just as the words slipped passed Ichigo's lips in a hushed mumble, Grimmjow pulled the human's face closer to his, closing the gap between them and pushing their lips together. It was as if time stopped for a moment and nothing really mattered. Grimmjow brought one of his hands up to bury into soft, irritatingly orange hair in order to pull the shinigami closer. At first the teen was rigid with shock, but then their lips moved against each other in a way that caused Ichigo to sigh and tilt his head so that he had a better angle to breech the arrancar mouth with his tongue. Grimmjow answered enthusiastically, pushing against the organ with his own, but was jolted out of their closed off world by a soft voice.

"Nn… Gwimm?" Nel yawned.

Ichigo came to his senses abruptly and pushed away from the male, distancing himself rather quickly from Grimmjow until he was out the door.

* * *

**Kyo** - So I was halfway through with writing this chapter before realizing that the fiction was going in the complete opposite direction I had planned it to take it. I tried fixing it and that resulted in a longer chapter.  
The scene at the end changed as well, that was not how things were supposed to happen, like at all, but because I wasn't paying attention in the last chapter, this is what you get.  
I still like it, I still feel like it was a sweet, confusing scene, but I just wanted it to happen differently... oh well.

This chapter had kissing, in the next chapter you gets DRAMA. And more Kissing! Then more drama.

Chapter 11:

_Wherein actions are questioned.  
Confrontations are met.  
And hopes are crushed._


	11. Yo Quiero

**Chapter 11 - Yo Quiero... [I want...]**

_Wherein actions are questioned._

_Confrontations are met._

_And hopes are crushed_

Nel rubbed at her eyes gently as she sat up into a more comfortable position. She called out to her guardian once more, expecting he didn't hear her the first time she called his name. "Gwimm?" She thought she'd heard Ichigo's voice as well, but she must have been mistaken or dreaming because there was only her and Grimmjow in the room at the moment. She looked around a little dazedly, wiping the sleep out of her eyes before looking up at the blue haired male.

"Gwimm, Nel's tired of drawing." She frowned when he didn't respond and poked him in the rib. "Gwimm?"

That got the hollows attention and he swung his head around to glare at Nel before his expression softened at her pout. "Alright, chibi, then go to sleep." He chuckled slightly as her face scrunched up in displeasure.

"Nel doesn't wanna sleep." She moped before yawning again. Grimmjow shook his head in amusement, giving the young girl a crooked smile before hoisting her up by the waist with one arm. Luckily Yuzu arrived shortly after to retrieve the girl before Grimmjow was forced to toss Nel blindly into the other room, hoping she'd land on one of the beds. He thanked the youngest Kurosaki child and scratched at the back of his head, watching absently as the door closed itself.

He hated to ignore Nel and treat her so, but his mind was understandably preoccupied at the moment. He resolved to make it up to her later, but knew that she would most likely forget about it due to the lethargic state which she was in. His thoughts moved away from the small child and back to his roommate.

Ichigo would probably wait until he thought he was asleep to enter the room again, if he planned on coming back at all. Grimmjow considered waving it off and pretending like nothing happened when he did, but he couldn't. He didn't want to. He was tired of casting everything aside and putting things on the 'not worth my time' list. This was… something. This was bigger. This was… more.

Grimmjow knew that the shinigami, on the other hand would probably want him to act like nothing occurred between them, but it did. There weren't many things in life the, Grimmjow felt, were worth pursuing, but this thing - whatever the hell you could call it – with Ichigo... it was something, something he couldn't explain easily. Up until this point he has had two relationships with people: hate and fear. People hated him and he hated others; and almost everyone who knew him, feared him. Before, there was no reason to question anything further. But now, with his new relationship with Nel and his new found feelings of whatever the hell humans would call them, he found that these connections between people, these so called 'emotions'… they weren't so bad, and he didn't see the harm in wanting to pursue them.

On the other hand, he knew if he approached Ichigo with these thoughts, the male was likely to blow a fuse. The biggest problem, Grimmjow concurred, was that, if the person whom these feelings are geared toward does not feel the same, then what the hell was he supposed to do then. He was pretty certain the orange haired soul reaper was more likely to punch him than kiss him again.

He did learn, in his time here, that results are never gained by standing idly by and watching the opportunity pass away. If it was left to Ichigo,, he wouldn't hold his breath in wait for Kurosaki to approach him first.

* * *

What had happened? How had that simple conversation turned so... wrong? When did it suddenly become okay to shove his tongue down Grimmjow's throat? Was that him? Did he really respond to Grimmjow, to his lips? He wanted to scream that it wasn't, to say that it was someone else, that he had been possessed by something, that it was Kon playing a cruel, cruel joke, that it was a dream; a nightmare. He wanted it to be a dream, he wanted to wake up into a world that wasn't so horrible; one where arrancar didn't exist and hollow were the things you read about in books or the stories your parents tell you at night to keep you in line. Ichigo wanted to be ignorant, like he used to be, before Rukia, before shinigami… He would have accepted anything other than the truth.

However, it was plain as day, and the past, unfortunately could not be reversed, no matter how much he hoped and wished that it could. He had kissed Grimmjow. _Grimmjow_. The fact was incredible, invigorating, yet disturbing. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

But he wasn't the only one to blame, Grimmjow was the one who pulled him close, he had initiated the kiss. It was all Grimmjow's fault. Why did he have to do that? Did he get some kind of sick pleasure from seeing him flustered and confused? If so, then Grimmjow was a completely different sadist than what he first perceived. What was going through Grimmjow's head when he did that, Ichigo wondered. Did he enjoy it? _It doesn't matter_, Ichigo thought. _**I **__didn't enjoy it._

Lies.

_But you responded. You could have just pushed him away, __**before**__ Nel woke up. You wanted it. Deep down, you wanted it_. Ichigo didn't want to believe his thoughts; he wanted them to shut up, stay locked away inside his head, but had no such luck. They screamed at him over and over again: _You wanted it. You want him_. But they were wrong, he didn't want Grimmjow, he could barely even stand to look at the arrancar. He was just confused, his mind had been working too hard these past few days; thinking too much. He needed a break, he needed an escape.

The substitute cradled his head in his hands as he sat down on the couch. How he wished his badge would sound, alert him that a hollow was near. He wanted, no, needed a reason to get away from his house, to get away from Grimmjow. He would go to Urahara tomorrow and discuss the arrancar living somewhere else because he didn't think he could do it anymore. This was too much, promise or no promise; he was done.

_**Are you scared?**_ The voice made itself known, taunted and Ichigo willed it to go away. He filled his mind with other thoughts; but the voice in his mind was too strong, too clear. _**You're scared**_. It wasn't a question; it was a horribly mocking statement. Ichigo squared his jaw before thinking.

_I'm not scared. It's time for him to go._

_**You're chicken. **_The voice snickered softly and Ichigo could almost see the grin on the other's face. _**You see him, you see what he was, what he is and it terrifies you.**_

_No it doesn't._

There was a short contemplative silence before the voice responded teasingly. _**Mmm… I think it does. You think the same is in store for you? You still afraid to lose control? Is that it? **_

_No. _The shinigami felt like he was being tested.

The voice paused again, waiting. Ichigo held his breath, hoping it was over. Since the end of the war, his other half hadn't made itself known; he wondered what brought about this change. Since he defeated his hollow and Zangetsu's merged form, didn't that mean he was rid of the thing? Wasn't he the stronger of the two? He was under the belief that this conflict was gone forever, but good things don't last.

In his moment of observation, Ichigo felt his hollow searching his brain, reading his thoughts. He didn't like the way it felt, it was horribly intimate. His mind should be a place where he should be allowed to dwell on his own, regardless of the inhabitants within him.

_Gods, now I sound as crazy as I feel. _He laughed at himself.

_**I told you I hate the rain.**_

The unbidden statement caught the redhead off guard and he sounded his confusion with a soft 'huh?'

_**You know, I was ready to let you win. I was gonna call it even for now. Even when the sky got a little cloudy, even if it rained, as long as it didn't go on for too long, I was gonna let you control your life. I thought you could handle it, Aibou. I thought you finally managed to live up to that name. You know how long it's been pouring in here?**_

In all honesty, Ichigo couldn't answer that question even if he wanted to. He didn't know how long his emotions had been so fucked up. It all started with Inoue… Inoue…

_**Yeah, ever since that girl, it's been hell. Now that guy… you just can't make up your mind, can you? You really are blind as you are stupid, aren't you, Aibou?**_

_I don't have to take this shit from you. I can deal with my problems on my own. Watch, once Grimmjow is gone, things will get better, you'll see. _Ichigo had full belief in that, once Grimmjow was out of his hair, things would be a lot less complicated on his part.

The hollow part of him sighed pessimistically. _**That's not what I mean. **_The redhead felt the tingle of something digging around in his subconscious for a moment before he heard an almost triumphant gasp. _**Ah… you don't trust yourself with him? That's what it is. That's the real reason you can't stand him. You fear you're too much alike.**_

The precision of that statement caused the substitute shinigami to panic slightly. _… Be quiet, _he hissed, no longer interested in this game. But the voice continued, stubbornly.

_**That one kiss helped knock down some of those stone walls you built for yourself. The inhibition… when your lips met… you're afraid of what else he might lead you to do… hmm?**_

_Shut up._

_**You're afraid you'd like it too much. It's not like with Inoue… **_

_I said shut up, stupid hollow._

The voice chuckled but otherwise stayed quiet for the time being, which Ichigo was grateful for. He was stressed enough as it is and he didn't need stupid meddling hollows causing more of that tension to build. He needed a break, seriously.

Ichigo finished the inner dialogue with himself just as he heard heavy footsteps descending on the stairs. At first he thought them to belong to his father, but the old man was still attending a few patients within the clinic. Ichigo's heart nearly dropped into his stomach when he realized it was Grimmjow coming down the stairs.

He had planned to get away; he thought he had made that clear. Didn't him running out of the room prove that he didn't want to see the arrancar? That he needed time? That he had to think. He just wanted some space, away from Grimmjow, away from his feelings, away from the voice in his head; away from everything. Apparently it was too much to ask because the hollow bypassed the kitchen area and walked right into the living room, his target the shock of orange hair and its owner sitting on the sofa.

Ichigo sighed and considered using shunpo to make a quick escape, but he remembered that, like the shinigami's shunpo, and the Quincy hirenkyaku, Espada had sonido. He wasn't really sure whose was faster or if he could use it in his human form and Ichigo wasn't very willing to stumble around in the dark to figure out either. So he allowed the ex-espada to come to a halt in front of him, he chose not to look up at Grimmjow, however and hoped that if he ignored the male long enough he would go away.

"Ichigo… we have to… talk."

The shinigami wanted to be surprised, wanted to make some snappish comment that would insult the arrancar in one way or another. 'Heh, you can talk? Why not take out your sword and chop away at the problem, or better yet transform into your release state and slash it with your claws.' He wanted to say that, he thought about it but instead he silently wished Grimmjow hadn't stumbled upon whatever personal epiphany he'd overcome that turned him into a rational almost human being. He wished the man would hit him: it would make him feel less confused and at least with fighting he wouldn't have to think so much.

Grimmjow waited for the teen's response. When none came, he sighed, frustrated and folded his arms over his broad chest. "I got all night, just so you know."

"I don't feel like talking right now."

"Well I do, so you better say something before I lose my patience." The blue haired male all but growled and Ichigo rolled his eyes before looking up at the man irately.

"What the hell do you expect ME to say? I'm not the one sexually assaulting people as he pleases."

"Grow up, Kurosaki." That statement earned him a scoff and the averting of angry brown eyes into a different direction. Grimmjow took this chance to study the teen's profile and ponder on the extraordinary urge to kiss the scrunched up bridge of Kurosaki's nose and punch him in it at the same time. "You know, it might be tough to consider in that stupid brain of yours but I'm as weirded out by this as you are."

"Che… yeah… right." Even if the male sounded sincere, Ichigo didn't believe he was remorseful for what happened either. Grimmjow's next statement would prove his silent deduction correct, however.

"Believe me or don't," he sighed and switched his weight from one foot to the other. "I don't care." Ichigo made a belligerent face, much in the same fashion of an obstinate child. "I'm not sorry for what I did."

The shinigami scoffed again and continued in an annoyed tone. "I don't expect you to be. You think you can do whatever you want and just because you're fucking Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques, everyone is supposed to forgive you for it. Well guess what, Grimmjow, I'm not afraid of you and I'm not scared to kick your ass next time you try some weird shit like that again."

"Are you done, Kurosaki?" He sounded bored, a fact which pissed the Kurosaki off even more.

"See! There's no point in even discussing it with you! You don't even look repentant for pissing me off."

"I said I wasn't. I'm not going to apologize for doing nothing wrong."

"Keh, you're so full of shit, Grimmjow."

The arrancar stared down at the shinigami for a moment, contemplating his next words carefully. He didn't like the way the teen was putting the whole blame on him. Yes, he had been the one to initiate the kiss, only because it seemed to be the right thing at the time. He thought Ichigo felt the same way; he would almost believe that was certain considering... "You're making all this fuss about me kissing you but you're the one who kissed me back."

"I-… I-I was c-confused. That wasn't the reaction I meant to give." Ichigo stumbled; face turning an appealing shade of red.

"Right."

"The hell did you come down here for, other than to piss me off further?"

"I don't even fucking know. Jeez, Kurosaki… you-…. Forget it. Just fucking forget it." He stormed back up the stairs, forgetting to deal with the issue at hand. He did say that Ichigo was difficult and pursuing this matter wasn't going to be easy, but in order to reap the proper results, one needs determination.

* * *

Ichigo had slept downstairs on the couch, endured the confused stares of his father and sisters that morning and even wandered around town for half the day in his day old clothes before ending up at the graveyard instinctively. He came here for peace, for quiet. He didn't remember how the blue haired hollow had found him the last time, but he had hoped the male wouldn't remember the way here. He was a fool for thinking that.

Ichigo's head turned towards the other male, expecting him to say something, anything, but Grimmjow just stared at him, face passive.

"Why the hell are you here?" he grunted angrily. He didn't need this; he didn't need to see Grimmjow right now. "How did you guess I was going to be here?" Ichigo bet he got the information from his father. Stupid old man, always analyzing me, always in my business...

"I didn't have to guess."

"What do you mean? Did goat-chin tell you? I told that old cod to stay out of my business."

"Are you done?"

"Why? What do you want? I'm in a bad mood."

"You seem to always be in a bad mood."

"I wonder who I have to thank for it."

"I don't see what I did that was so bad that you have to be in a piss poor mood 24/7. You should really learn to let things go, Ichigo."

"No, I want to hold on to this grudge."

"Why? What is it about me that irks you so much? No one could be as intolerable as you make me out to be."

"You must not know yourself very well."

"Lately… no, I don't know myself at all." He replied, somewhat shocked by his blatant honesty, "The shit you say to me, and the things you do… I've killed people for less. Both humans and hollow, I've hated tones of 'em for the simplest shit. Bumping into me on accident, looking at me the wrong way, saying stuff under their breath that I thought was about me but really wasn't. You know… petty crap." H paused, seeing Ichigo's passive face.

"But…" Grimmjow continued after a moment. "…you make me feel like shit every fucking day of the week and… I can't seem to hate you. At least hate you enough to kill you. You make me angry; you make me wanna… wanna bust up buildings, throw shit… break stuff. I wanna fucking punch the shit out of you…" He found it fascinating that even as he said the words, even as he felt that way at that very moment, he still wanted to grab the teen and kiss the life out of him as well. All of these emotions were conflicting, it was irritating.

Ichigo considered his words, he hadn't known he had such a dynamic effect on the arrancar. The things he said and did was a natural reaction to Grimmjows presence. In all honesty, he didn't know any other way to act around the male; they had been enemies for so long, it was difficult for him to see the neutral ground between them.

"So how's that different than before…?"

Grimmjow sighed; it was too troublesome to explain. "So whose grave is this anyway?" Grimmjow tilted his head towards the shinigami. Ichigo contemplated not answering the espada but with one look at the head stone he had been standing in front of, it wouldn't take the other more than a guess to determine whose grave it was.

This place was familiar to the arrancar and he wouldn't have had to ask the teen whose grave it was if he had been paying attention the first time he came here. That time he had only taken a passing glance at the stone, the words not really registering in his mind.

"My mothers." Ichigo said quietly.

With a look that the teen couldn't place, Grimmjow slowly turned his head to look down at the grave. He scrutinized it for a second before commenting, "Huh, and here I thought her bones were buried in the walls of your house. Isshin isn't as crazy as he looks."

Ichigo frowned, "Now wait-"

Grimmjow smiled at the soul reaper, an action that Ichigo wasn't quite ready for and caused the boy to pause, flustered. The blue haired arrancar bent his knees to kneel down in front of the memorial. "Kurosaki Masaki, huh? Your son's an idiot, so is his father." Ichigo was ruffled by the statement but didn't let it show, he just scowled at the back of Grimmjow's head. Grimmjow continued to talk to the unresponsive stone, "You're pretty lucky to not have to deal with them."

Ichigo was going to ask where Grimmjow was going with this, was going to say it was useless insulting him in front of a stone, but as the man kept talking, his conviction softened and he wondered, really thought what was going through the male's mind.

"I'm Grimmjow, by the way," he said casually, and with a familiarity as if he was speaking to someone he had been talking to for hours. "I kicked your son's ass a couple of times, but it didn't seem to knock any common sense into him. Sorry about that. He did manage to beat some brains into me, though. I'm kinda a different person thanks to him. Just don't tell him that."

Ichigo smiled but quickly realized that he was and frowned again.

Grimmjow chuckled slightly, "But seriously, he's not too bad. You did good while you were here and Isshin… he's not doing a bad job either. It's a good thing the girls didn't turn out like their brother though. Yuzu looks a lot like you; Karin would kick my ass if I told her she looked like Isshin… You've got a pretty okay family…"

The conversation continued like that for many more minutes until Grimmjow stopped speaking, he didn't feel like talking anymore and there was nothing else he felt the need to say. In his new found silence he just stared at the stone contemplatively.

"Grimmjow?" Ichigo had witnessed the entire conversation, though it had been one-sided, it had been genuine and congenial. He didn't know Grimmjow could be so... endearing.

The male crouching on the ground stood, "What?"

"Why would you do that? You don't have to… I mean… you…" What did he mean? This was too much, too soon. Ichigo felt like he was getting comfortable with the arrancar and it was a bad idea, wasn't it?

There was a time when his mind would have screamed yes, when he would have pushed himself away and out of this situation. His mind would have told him that Grimmjow was a bad person, that he was faking, insincere. But this was honesty, like he had never seen before. Ichigo had gotten over that prejudice... he accepted Grimmjow, his feelings, everything. And yet he accepted nothing.

"Maybe I wanted to." Grimmjow said curiously, a little too curiously for the substitute shinigami's confusion.

"Why?"

"Fucking Christ, Ichigo, why is it always 'why' with you? Just accept that I want to do it." He snapped, but the statement lacked conviction.

Ichigo nodded, and then shook his head, contradicting himself, "It's just weird, seeing you like this."

"Don't remind me."

There was a pause in the conversation, but it wasn't an awkward one. Grimmjow stared at the scenery, at the haunting site of headstones and offerings of flowers and incents. He breathed in and the air smelled like a mix of rain, dirt and spices. It was peaceful here, but then it was supposed to be, wasn't it. Ichigo stared at the dirt on his shoes, unable to voice his next question.

"About yesterday…" He started and then stopped, considering not continuing. It was embarrassing; his cheeks tingled with the first signs of a flush.

"What about it?" Grimmjow asked absently, watching the nearby gray swirl of incense smoke drift into the air before bringing his attention back to the orange haired shinigami. He wondered what the male had wanted to say before his mind clicked into action. He inclined his head in understanding. " … You mean that kiss?" Surprising enough, Ichigo was the first to bring up the subject.

Dark orange brows furled. "Why did you- I mean," He noticed how often the word why had been integrated into his vocabulary lately, so he reconstructed his question. "... You must have had a reason to… to…" _To kiss me._ But he couldn't bring himself to say the words, it was just too weird.

Grimmjow sighed, ruffling his hair with his fingers. He had been thinking about that kiss as well. Why he did it, when had he ever thought of doing it. Why with Ichigo? Every time his mind attempted to make sense of his actions it would stop caring and ponder about different aspects of the kiss such as how the shinigami's lips felt against his and why it was Ichigo that deepened the kiss instead of him.

"What the hell can I say?" he asked out loud. "I don't know… it just felt right." It was funny how it happened, he didn't plan it, things just... fell into place and his lips were on Kurosaki's. Turning his attention back onto the teen in front of him he stepped forward, closing the short distance between them. "I didn't know how long I've wanted to do that until I finally did it." He stopped just in front of the shinigami and placed his forehead on that of the younger male. "… I still want to…"

Ichigo took a shuddering breath. "How long have you f-felt like this."

"Not sure."

"Aren't you a little concerned…?"

"Why should I be?"

"It's just… Why now? Why do you care so much now?"

"Don't know."

"You can't just expect me to-"

"Shut up, Kurosaki," he interrupted, placing his mouth over Ichigo's and bringing all of the nagging, uncertain questions to a halt.

* * *

**Kyo - **I know I promised more drama, but this chapter ran a little too long and I had to split it. Don't whine, you got another kiss.  
I'm sure everyone knows who Ichigo was arguing with in his mind~  
The next chaper will have drama... then heartbreak. ;;

Chapter 12: Yo No Tengo Que Correr 

_Wherein confrontations are met._

_Actions are questioned._

_And new hopes are crushed._


	12. Yo No Tengo

Chapter 12: Yo No Tengo Que Correr [I Don't Wan't To Run]

_Wherein confrontations are met._

_Actions are questioned._

_And new hopes are crushed._

Orihime couldn't wait for the week to end. She knew Ichigo was busy during the weekdays and the only chance she would get to speak to him was the afternoon, but she had to try. She waited patiently all day for 5 o' clock to strike before she grabbed her things and scooted out the door and towards the Kurosaki home. She was only a little crushed when his father had announced that he wasn't home. A thought in passing gave her the notion that he had been lying before he said that his son hadn't been home all day or the day before. She sighed and continued on her way.

She knew she could have just stayed at his home and waited for him there; he would have showed up eventually, but the anticipation would have made her loose her nerve, she needed to be up and moving about, sitting still any longer would do her no good. But where could he have gone? Ichigo wasn't one to usually stay away from home overnight. She knew that Kurosaki-san was very overprotective and was slightly confused at the almost nonchalance in the way that he announced his son hadn't been home.

Determined to speak with Ichigo, Inoue had searched every place she thought Ichigo would be including the library of his school, the local cafe and even Urahara-san's shop. More hours than she realized had went by and the sun had long began to set in the sky so she called the Kurosaki household only to be informed by a chipper young voice that Ichigo still wasn't home. She had nearly given up her search when she realized that there was one place she hadn't looked yet. It was long shot but she hoped her guess was right, and if he wasn't there then she could just go back to his home and wait for him.

The young girl entered the cemetery a little warily, it wasn't a main hunting ground for hollows anymore but the air around the place still made her uneasy. She followed the path to where she knew one solitary grave sat and where she - hopefully - would find one Kurosaki Ichigo. The winding trail ended and she found the person she was looking for only he hadn't been alone like she hoped.

He was pressed against someone, held tightly against the other's body. It wasn't hard to tell from that angle that they were kissing. The blue hair of the man that Ichigo had been kissing looked familiar but her mind was too shocked at the moment to name a time or a place she had seen it. Just then the kiss ended and brown eyes opened to look up at the person he had been embracing before unintentionally sliding to Orihime's face. They squinted and frowned in her direction before widening.

"Orihime?"

She hadn't realized she started crying; her face was wet. "I-Ichigo... y-you..." The bag that held her apology present slipped out of her hands and onto the gravel before she turned and ran towards the front of the cemetery.

"Shit... Wait, Orihime!" Ichigo chased after the girl after a moment of stunned surprise. He pushed past Grimmjow, before breaking into a run. His mind whirled with a flurry of thoughts: How long had she been standing there? How much did she see? Did she realize...? Within a matter of moments, and because Orihime had been crying too hard to see where she was going, Ichigo caught up to her but she didn't slow her gait. "Stop running and let me explain," he hadn't expected her to stop so suddenly. He managed to stop moments before running into her.

The look on her face as she turned around wasn't expected by the substitute shinigami either. He recoiled a few steps. "Explain? Now you want to explain? I came here... prepared to listen to you... p-prepared to respond. I was going to fo-forgive you! I-I... oh God." Consumed by her shock and tears, she could barely believe what she had just seen. Kurosaki, her Ichigo had been kissing... another man. It was almost too much to take in.

"Please, Hime, I'm sorry. Just-"

"Don't call me that! You- just don't call me that!" She gasped as Grimmjow walked up behind the orange haired shinigami. "How l-long has this...? S-since we...?" She was still crying and out of breath so much she couldn't finish her sentences. Ichigo failed to notice the presence of the arrancar, worried for the girl as she still couldn't catch her breath.

"Gods, are you okay?" She nodded and refused any help from him, urging him to answer the question by asking again when her breaths evened some.

"Is this… the reason why you b-broke up with me?" she questioned fumingly.

"No, of course not... I... It just... happened." Her eyes looked like she didn't believe him. "Orihime..."

The way he said her name reminded her too much of that night. That night that had been so perfect... so hollow. "Inoue." She voiced, angry.

"Inoue..." Ichigo complied; saddened that she would result to such detachment. "I-"

Unable to ignore the presence behind him, Inoue's eyes slid from Grimmjow back to Kurosaki's. "Wasn't he supposed to be dead?" She accused, an emotion Ichigo wasn't used to seeing in her usually kind gray eyes. "Didn't they give his body to Kurotsuchi Taicho? Why is he here? Why is he alive? Why were you kissing him?" She was so upset she began to cry again, harder this time.

"What?" He turned around to see Grimmjow and scowled at the arrancar who didn't look affected in the least. The shinigami couldn't handle all the questions at once. He struggled for a way to explain the situation he was in. "He's… um… It's... complicated." He announced lamely. "Here, let's go somewhere so we can talk."

"You said you would explain, Kurosaki-san. Explain." Her eyes were angry as she wiped away the tears. They demanded answers, ones that the Kurosaki didn't know how to give. How was he going to tell her what had happened between himself and Grimmjow? He couldn't believe half of it himself.

So he settled for, "... I'm sorry..."

Angry beyond belief, Inoue strode up to the man before her and slapped him across the face. Tears dripped down her face as her hand retracted and she cradled it between her palm; face still upset and not satisfied at all. As if she wanted to do it again. "Stop it!" she yelled, voice and frame shaking. "Stop it with your sorry. I don't care. I won't accept it. I...I... I hate you Ichigo. I hate you." She placed her face in her hands and stepped away from the shinigami.

Ichigo watched as she sank to the ground. "Inoue..."

"I gave you everything. I loved you. I loved you so much, for so long... I just wanted... just wanted you to look at me. I just wanted you to lo-love me." Inoue hugged herself; her body bent forward, head bowed as her tears slid down her face to wet the graveyard soil. Ichigo's heart wrenched at the sight.

"I do love you, Inoue..." Just-

"Just not the way I want you to? Was that what you were going to say?" She looked up slowly and Ichigo felt yet another stab of guilt at the look in her eyes.

_Yes_. "No..."

"I thought I could make it better if I changed myself," She began slowly, voice different; defeated. "... if I wore different clothes, changed my hair." She laughed bitterly, "I even took cooking classes so that I could become... a better person... for you. How was I supposed to know my hard work was in vain? How can I compete with-...?" Her eyes moved back to Grimmjow before she shook her head and started crying softly, the tears streaming down her pale cheeks.

The teen chanced a small step forward. "I can't control my feelings, Inoue. I wanted to love you; I tried so hard to, for three years. I thought you were perfect for me, the only stable thing in my unstable world." He tried a weak smile, but it went unnoticed, her head still bowed, shoulders shaking. "I just couldn't... you were my friend... I had grown too comfortable. I couldn't see you as anything else." Then she decided to lift her head, Ichigo wished she hadn't because the look in her eyes told him that she understood that, that there was nothing he couldn't do to right her world again after it had been shaken apart so suddenly. He winced despite himself, "Please don't look at me that way, Inoue."

"I don't know how else I'm supposed to look at you, Kurosaki. You say all this and still you slept with me? Why? If all you could see me as was a friend, why did you lie with me?" She was hurting and he reached out to comfort her only to recoil at his touch. "Don't touch me!" She nearly screamed and he backed off a little. When he was a safe distance she said in a slightly calmer voice, "Just... don't touch me."

"Inoue... listen to me..."

She brought her eyes up to look at Grimmjow who kept her gaze steadily, a look of mild concern on his face. "I can't right now, Kurosaki-san. I'm upset... very upset," she said evenly.

"Then later?" He tried and she shook her head, eyes focusing on his again.

"I don't know, Kurosaki-san. I... You're upsetting me... I need to think. I need some time."

"Okay, I understand." He watched Inoue stand and attempt to compose herself, her hands rubbing lightly at her arms as if attempting to rub away at a cold that wasn't there. He frowned as she began to walk away, knowing he shouldn't let her leave like this, having so many things to say but not being able to do anything otherwise. She said she needed time; so she had witnessed that kiss between himself and Grimmjow… While he was sorry that it had hurt the girl so, Ichigo was surprised to find that he didn't regret kissing the arrancar, the aftermath of the thought left him highly uneasy and he question what that meant.

"Shit." He voiced aloud, with lack of anything else to say. He turned towards Grimmjow slowly. "We should probably tell Urahara she saw you." Grimmjow shrugged nonchalantly.

"I doubt he'd care, it's not like he told me to stay hidden anyway."

Ichigo nodded and turned his head back towards the way he watched Orihime leave, a sad, longing look on his face. Grimmjow was concerned; he had never seen the Kurosaki like this before. Although the teen had lost a bit of the temper he use to have and some of the fire in his eyes dimmed quite a bit, the hollow predicted it was from the time the male had to mature and not be so consumed by his emotions. He now knew that it was due to whatever experience he'd had with the human girl Aizen had been so interested in once upon a time ago. He never expected the two to actually be in that type of relationship or for Ichigo to have those feelings towards the young girl. He watched as the shinigami pulled his hand through his hair.

"Are you, you know… okay?" Seeing the teen this was caused that place behind his heart within his chest ache. He didn't want to see Ichigo in pain; he decided he didn't like it.

"I… don't know. I just don't know."

* * *

"Damn it." Ichigo swore and kicked over his chair only to be rewarded with his father's good-humored voice floating up the stairs.

"Ichigo-chan, please refrain from breaking anymore of the furniture, my beautiful son~"

The teen cursed again and then took a deep breath, deciding it wasn't Isshin's fault. "Sorry... dad," he called back, earning a rising of eyebrows from his dad though he couldn't see it. Surprised, Isshin turned to Grimmjow who was brooding on the couch and being bugged by Nel at the same time.

"What did you do so my son?" He accused. Grimmjow woke from his detached state and threw the man a glare.

"Why do you automatically come to the conclusion that it was me who did something to him?"

"Because you seem to be the cause of much of my son's frustrations." Isshin reasoned. The problem was that his reasoning was very true as of late and it irritated the arrancar.

"Not intentionally." He griped then sighed, "Besides, it's his own fault this time."

Isshin nodded and placed a thoughtful hand on his chin, pulling at his whiskers. "Does that mean it has something to do with Orihime-chan? She did come by looking for him earlier today..."

Grimmjow nodded and pulled Nel away from him by the scruff of her shirt before tossing her on the couch. She giggled as he stood. "You guessed it."

"Hmm... then in that case he deserves to suffer a little." The elder Kurosaki laughed and walked away.

Grimmjow shook his head in amusement before finding his way upstairs, headed for the frustrated shinigami's room. He opened the door and found the male sprawled out face down into his own sheets. He would have thought the teen was dead had it not been for the subtle rise and fall of the Kurosaki's back. The blue haired arrancar entered the room and shut the door.

"Oi, how long are you gonna to sulk like this?" He moved the desk chair away from the table and sat on it backwards, a safe distance away from Ichigo's bed.

"Go away." Was his muffled response.

"Still in a pissy mood I see." He teased, enjoying the resounding growl muffled and weakened by the sheets. The boy said something but didn't lift his head before he started speaking to the hollow.

"mmfjow...I swear to god, if you don't leave-"

"Whacha gonna do? Kill me?"

The statement must have struck something because the soul reapers glare intensified before he laid back down, turning his head away from the ex-espada. "Why are you in here? Go play dolls with Nel."

Grimmjow hid a smile. "She might entertain me with a better insult that's for sure. When are ya gonna stop acting like a little girl and go back to normal? I don't like this." He frowned suddenly.

"Too bad for you I don't give a shit what you like." The teen said with his face still turned.

"Not even if that includes you?"

Slowly Ichigo lifted his head to turn and look at Grimmjow. He studied him hard before his frowning lips moved to ask, "What?"

"I've given it a lot of thought," Grimmjow reasoned. "More thought than I've given anything else in my life and I'm pretty sure I-"

"Don't you dare say it again." Kurosaki threatened.

"... like you." The arrancar finished, unperturbed.

It amused the blue haired male, seeing the shinigami lose his temper. Sure he had seen the teen get mad before, but never like this, never with such a blush on his face. Even as the orange haired male screamed profanities at him, he couldn't hide his smile of amusement. This was the Kurosaki he knew.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Can't you see I'm going through an emotional disaster? Don't you know anything about tact?"

Grimmjow snorted before replying. "You wanna talk about it."

Ichigo was about to yell again before he confusedly said, "What?"

"What happened with that Inoue chick, do ya want to talk about it?"

The shinigami looked skeptical. "You actually want to hear about this? You?" Grimmjow smiled.

"Yeah, I kinda do."

"Urgh! I don't have time for this, Grimmjow, I really don't. Go fuck around somewhere else." The shinigami waved him off and expected the male to leave. He was surprised when Grimmjow made no move to leave and his glare was met with a hard stare.

Ichigo had told him about the whole ordeal, from start to finish. He had told him how they had gotten together, how he only agreed due to the hope that Inoue would help him forget about certain things and help him start a new, normal life. Ichigo explained all that hadn't changed and how he still saw her as a good friend even as he saw her fall even more deeply form him. How he thought of ending the relationship dozens and dozens of times. He even surprised himself by telling Grimmjow about that night and how he only did it in order to discern his true feelings for the girl but only felt horribly guilty after he was finished and ran away in his shame, refusing to talk to her for weeks.

Grimmjow quietly listened to all that the soul reaper had to say and patiently waited for the story to be over, much to Ichigo's disbelief. Honestly he didn't know why he offered to listen to all of this and while Ichigo's face looked more relieved the further he went into the retelling, the more the painful ache of jealousy grew within Grimmjow's stomach. The place behind his heart hurt too and he said the words without really thinking first.

"I'm serious."

Ichigo sighed and rubbed the space between his eyebrows. It felt like more wrinkles were forming. "Don't start this shit with me; not right now."

"I was being honest, is that so bad?"

"Yes!" The shinigami practically shouted, not liking the look within the hollows eyes. He countered it with a scowl. "You can't just say these things as you please."

"So because you keep your feelings bottled up, you think everyone else should too?" Grimmjow said dangerously, Ichigo's eyes narrowed at the words of his roommate.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"When was the last time you admitted to anyone that you missed your mother?" Ichigo felt his anger rise at Grimmjow for stepping into forbidden territory. "How many times a day do you tell your family you love them? When you and Inoue were together, when did you stop to consider your own feelings and communicate them with her?"

Ichigo felt cornered with all the questions, his anger subsided but did not die completely. He stared at Grimmjow in awe, wondering what right he had to ask him these questions but then figuring that he had never actually asked them to himself and figured now was as good a place to start as any.

He remembered telling Rukia he missed his mother… or did he just say he wished she wasn't gone? He never talked to anyone about her death… it never really got any easier, it was better to just keep his grief to himself. He didn't want to look weak in front of anyone. Ichigo couldn't remember the last time he told his old man he loved him. True Isshin was eccentric, violent and quite a bit of a spazz who treated his children as if they were still in diapers but he was still his father… he deserved the appreciation even if it was in the form of three simple words. Ichigo's eyes turned towards the ground as he thought about his relationship with Inoue. He had always been considering her happiness, he never thought about himself, which was the reason he didn't end it with the girl sooner. He regretted it now but had he thought about his own happiness, he would have let Orihime go so that she could find someone who she could love and who truly loved her in return instead of giving her false hope.

His eyes turned back to the aarancar regarding him with a look he couldn't place. Grimmjow still glared at him but trapped within that glare was an emotion – an honest to goodness feeling – that made Ichigo's heart jump. He suddenly thought that the words the blue haired male confessed to him earlier weren't so farfetched. Ichigo sighed and frowned afterwards.

"Look Grimmjow…"

"I'm not asking you to marry me, Kurosaki." Grimmjow cut off before the redhead could finish his statement. He was a little annoyed but listened to the man anyway. "I'm not telling you to jump into something you don't want to. I'm just being blunt about the way I feel, it might not have been the right moment, but I'm not exactly a pro at this stuff. This is all really new to me."

_Yeah, me too…_ Ichigo thought, scratching at his neck. "I hafta admit, Grimm, that I'm not the best at this either… obviously." This was scary, yet thrilling. He couldn't decide on an emotion. But he couldn't just accept this considering the way things were with Orihime. He had hurdled into him and Inoue's relationship without a second thought because at that time he thought it would be beneficial. He couldn't make that same mistake twice, especially since the first mistake - he hated to think of their relationship as that - still needed closure. "And I... I'm sorry Grimmjow but I can't accept your feelings."

* * *

**Kyo **- Ha. I can so do drama, just not in abundance.

I used to think I could do angst, but I have to reevaluate my understanding of what angst is.

ALSO! Regarding the chapter titles, they were never meant to be correct; they are actually supposed to NOT make sense.

So I thank whoever it is for the corrections but please, don't leave reviews about unnecessary things, it gives me false hope.

**Chapter 13 - De Nada Te Serviran Las Lagrimas.**

_Wherein revenge is sought.  
Investigations are conducted.  
And private matters are brought to light._


	13. Te Nada De Serviran

**Chapter 13 - De Nada Te Serviran Las Lagrimas. [Tears Won't Do You Any Good.]**

_Wherein revenge is sought.  
Investigations are conducted.  
And private matters are brought to light._

Orihime made it home just after the sun disappeared behind the horizon. She couldn't remember neither walking there nor fishing out her keys to open the lock. She was just home and when she finally lifted her head and blinked out of her stupor she realized it and frowned. She couldn't believe how cruel Ichigo was, how he couldn't tell her, of all people, what was really wrong. She sunk down within the doorway and sat down on the single step that leads up and into her living room.

If he had just been honest in the beginning and told her the real reason why he didn't want to be with her, she would have given up and wished him all the happiness in the world. He didn't have to lead her on and drag her deeper in love with him. Those days had been the happiest of her life but now they seemed hollow and fake; she had been the only one enjoying their time together. While Kurosaki never showed any sort of discomfort when around her, Inoue knew that it was only to protect her, only for her sake. She laughed bitterly knowing that Ichigo would sacrifice his own desires for the needs of others. It was a trait that she both hated and admired about the other at the moment. It was good that he watched out for others but he should learn to take care of himself before pleasing others.

Orihime felt more tears sliding down her cheeks and was suddenly angry. She had believed he loved her, she had genuinely thought that she was the only one for him and vice versa, she was prepared to grow old together. She wanted that with Kurosaki, she was hoping for it. Now she thought herself a fool to get her hopes up. All this time she thought he didn't touch her in those three years was because he was a gentleman and accepted her wishes to wait until they were a bit older. Her self-esteem crashed when she realized that she wasn't what Kurosaki wanted… He wanted…

Her mind drifted to the arrancar at the shinigami's side. She had thought they all died, that was what Sereitei reported to them. She remembered Ichigo being devastated despite them being the enemy but she had thought that was because of the hollow they had managed to befriend. Nel-san… Pesche, Dondochakka… and even Bawa-Bawa. She remembered him being so upset that he even erected a memorial in the young arrancar's honor; she had helped and even visited on occasion. But it turned out she was wrong, some of those unseen tears was for the sixth Espada as well.

It made her irate to think that all the while she had been with the soul reaper; he had been harboring these feelings towards Grimmjow. She didn't understand. All the times they had encountered each other, they seemed to hate one another severely. She certainly concealed no pleasant thoughts about the arrancar and thought Kurosaki felt the same. Ever since the man forced her to heal the orange haired shinigami before initiating another fight with him, she thought him nothing but cruel and vicious. What type of person engages a man that nearly died not seconds before? Her heart nearly broke at the thought of what might have happened had she not been there to be able to heal the shinigami.

The girl sitting in her entryway slowly stood, stepping out of her shoes and making a slow path to her bathroom, where she would shower and hopefully forget some of what happened today. If not, then she would leave that to sleep because she felt physically and emotionally exhausted. She had cried so much that her eyes were red and puffy and not doubt would be swollen in the morning. She would make sure to cover them with a warm towel before going to bed, to ease the swelling just a little.

While going through her routine within the bathroom, Orihime's mind traveled back to the scene in which she happened upon in the graveyard today. Even if she willed her mind to consider everything else, all she came back to was that one vision of Grimmjow and Ichigo embracing each other, kissing. She cursed the jealously that burned within her chest and cried for it to go away. There was nothing she could do about it, if that was what Kurosaki wanted then she had no right to come between them, but she needed answers and she knew just where to find them.

* * *

"Oh! Inoue-chan! Come in, come in!" The green striped hat man called her in with the tip of his fan, waving it towards the inside of his shop. Inoue smiled sweetly at Urahara and stepped within the cool air of the shoten. "It's good to see you, it's been too long." He led the way into the back, where she knew his home lay and followed obediently. She smiled more at his back.

"I'm sorry it took so long to come and visit you, even though we live in the same city, I've been so busy." She said apologetically.

"No worries, I understand the life of a student. Though it does get a bit boring..." He laughed as he slid open one of the shoji screen doors and directed her inside. Inoue laughed along with the shop keeper in good humor, missing the simple interactions and walked inside of the room. She paused, however, when she noticed the other guest kneeling on the other side of the table.

"I hope you don't mind the extra company." Urahara said casually, walking around the frozen girl to sit on the opposite side of Grimmjow.

This surprise was extremely unexpected and Orihime took a moment to compose herself at the risk of seeming rude and running away from the room. It was awkward and very forced but she smiled and shook her head, moving over to the table and sitting, keeping a fair distance from the arrancar.

"It's fine, although I had been hoping to speak to you alone." Her eyes were hopeful, counting on Urahara to understand that she didn't want the other male around as they spoke to each other. Her hopes were doused when the ex-shinigami chuckled and popped opened his fan with a flick of his wrist.

"Nonsense, anything you say here won't be repeated by Grimmjow-kun. Will it?" He said, his eyes flitting over towards the hollow who nodded resolutely.

Though his face didn't betray his emotions and show the discomfort he was feeling at the moment, he wasn't too thrilled at being in the same room with the girl at the moment, from the look she threw him, he could tell she felt the same. He had begged Urahara not to do this, he told the man that it would be wiser to allow Kurosaki time to discuss what happened; she'd listen to the shinigami. But the shop owner brushed him off, saying it was fine and that this interaction was needed. He didn't understand but he obeyed and stayed there, even though his heart was pounding so loud in his chest he thought his ears would burst. Grimmjow didn't know why he was so nervous, he never got nervous, but the look in the human girl's eyes made his heart jump and a guilty twinge settle in his stomach.

Orihime took a deep breath and tried her best to ignore the presence to her left and focused her attention to the man she came to speak with. "Since he is here… I suppose you know why I came to speak with you today." Urahara fluttered his fan and nodded thoughtfully. "Then I guess there is no reason to evade the issue." She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "Why? Why is he here, on earth, when we were told all of the Espada, all of the _arrancar_ were dead?"

Urahara tilted his head and sighed, "Saa… I don't really know myself. You would have to ask the ones who told you those words."

Orihime clutched the soft material of the bag that rested on her lap. "That's a gigai he's wearing, right? You can at least tell me why he's the only one here?"

The blonde regarded her for a moment before smiling sweetly. "I can…" He confirmed and Orihime waited, but when no explanation came she urged him on.

"Well?"

"Dearest, Inoue-chan, I'm afraid that's not my story to tell. Besides, we talk about Grimmjow-kun as if he isn't sitting right here. I think that's a bit rude, don't you?" He raised an expectant eyebrow, knowing she'd agree with him. He wasn't disappointed, soon after the words left his lips, her face sink into a frown and she nodded, turning unwilling grey eyes towards the blue haired arrancar. "I knew you'd see things my way!" He said a little too cheerfully for his two guests. "Now, Grimmjow-kun, be a dear and say what you wanted to say to Inoue-chan." He smiled at the arrancar, batting his fan more.

Grimmjow, who hadn't been paying attention in the first place, allowed his eyes to flash over to the shopkeeper and narrow before they landed onto the young girl at his side. _So that's his plan._ He didn't know why he expected the eccentric man to be on his side for this problem. Going to Urahara with a problem was like moving from the claws to the fangs.

Orihime, however, looked at him expectantly, her usually kind face passive, emotionless. Clearly there was much to be said, he just did not know where to start. It seems as if since agreeing to use the gigai Urahara offered him, his simple life was turned upside down. It seems that human lives were much more complicated than he first perceived. Still, as he understood that, Grimmjow couldn't figure out what Urahara wanted him to say to the young woman in front of him. He still believed it would have been better to force Ichigo to talk it out with her.

After the endless moments of silence and the two just staring at each other, Urahara sighed. "Since the two of you obviously don't know where to start, why don't we begin with a question? Orihime-chan, I'm sure you have plenty." He smiled, waving his fan in her direction before using it to cover his face once more.

Inoue blinked at the shop owner and then looked down before her gaze leveled with Grimmjow's once more. Grimmjow looked expectant but wary and Orihime considered the fact that she had never seen the arrancar with such a pensive face. "I'm not angry with you, nor am I angry at Kurosaki-kun, even though he hurt me very badly. I just want to know one thing: We were told that all of the arrancar that Aizen created had been destroyed… so why are you still alive?"

The blue haired male snorted before replying, "It's not like I asked ta be saved, alright? Stupid hat over there was snooping around in Hueco Mundo when he found me."

Orihime looked to Urahara for a confirmation. "I didn't want Kurotsuchi Taichou to take all of the good specimens." He shrugged, closing his fan to grab his cup of tea.

After a moment of sucking up this new information, Orihime nodded. At the time, she wondered where Urahara was, he might not have been a shinigami anymore but he had an obligation to protect the human world from disaster. Though, she had always suspected that he had his own agenda.

"Then what happened?" she questioned, causing the bluenette at her side to sigh.

"He brought me here, to his store and put me in one of the back rooms. That big guy healed me before Urahara made the offer. He said he'd give me a body, but under one condition… I couldn't kill anyone, shinigami or human."

Inoue allowed her eyes to widen slightly, not only impressed by Urahara's thoughtfulness but also surprised that Grimmjow would agree to that type of arrangement. Three years ago she would have adamantly refused the possibility, she would have been wrong… unless there was something the two weren't telling her. As if he sensed her question, Urahara spoke suddenly, tapping his fan to his lightly whiskered chin.

"In the end, Grimmjow-kun agreed to the settlement, rather reluctantly, but he had a circumstance of his own." Grey eyes turned toward slightly serious yet amused brown as the shop keeper continued to speak. "He didn't want to be in Japan. I believe you're exact words were: 'If I see that shinigami again, I'll gut him with his own sword'."

Orihime winced at the recollection before turning her face in anger towards the blue haired espada. "If that's true," she said, her voice filled with a heavy emotion. "Then why were the two of you kissing?" Urahara gasped behind his fan in a way that told the auburn haired girl that he must have known before hand or at least have had speculations.

Although he was once a dangerous enemy, one that she could certainly admit to have been afraid of at one point or another, and in truth, Orihime was still uneasy about Grimmjow's presence, she steeled herself for this confrontation and was prepared to accept whatever the blue haired male said. She did not, however, expect the blush that littered over usually pale cheeks, or the slight aversion of unsure blue eyes, even if it lasted only for a moment. Grimmjow worried his lower lip with his teeth in uncertainty, his grasp for words failing him at the moment.

"Well! Urahara announced loudly, standing from the lowered table and making his way to the shoji doors of the room before looking back to glance at his guests. "It seems that I forgot something, I'll return in a moment…" He admonished, giving the two their privacy. Inwardly, Grimmjow cursed the blonde.

"Do you… have… feelings for Kurosaki-kun, Grimmjow?" Orihime asked very hesitantly when the shop keepers footsteps were a safe distance away, almost not wanting to know the answer to the question. In high school, everyone had called her slow or air-headed at one time or another and she could admit to being such, but because of her experiences during these past few years, she couldn't say she didn't recognize the obvious signs from the arrancar; she had demonstrated them herself once upon a time ago…

There had been so many moments were he had asked himself that question, so many moments of frustration and denial that he had tortured himself with before finally admitting to himself that, yes, Kurosaki did mean more to him than did any other human he has ever met… but when he tried to explain that to the man himself, Grimmjow was horribly shot down, unable to manifest and be truly explored by the espada.

Ichigo had had a point when he turned the arrancar's approach away, but Grimmjow did not think it was fair. He didn't like the way the shinigami kicked him to the side, it hurt his pride and caused that familiar yet unwanted ache to harden within his chest. He looked at the girl before him, knowing that because she was human and was so use to this emotional crap, she could tell straight away what he couldn't figure out for the better part of these last two months.

Sighing, he resolved himself to just telling the young woman the truth. "I'm not really sure what to call it, but I'm pretty certain that I've never felt this way before." His eyes were so conflicted and uncertain… so painful, Orihime almost forgot to whom she was speaking and nearly believed him to be human for a moment. "I mean… when I'm around the stupid shinigami I feel at ease, even if he annoys the hell outta me. But at the same time I wanna protect him, ya know? I just wish…"

"You ever consider that you might love him?" The copper haired girl said quietly, a sad look on her face as she gazed at the grain on the table. She failed to see the look of surprise on the arrancar's face as she cut him off and continued to avoid his stare. "The way you sound, the tone of your voice… I can tell you love him." She felt like crying and laughing at the same time. "But I wonder how he feels about you…" this was said quietly to herself, not directed to the blue haired male.

Grimmjow snorted, tempted to say that if what the girl was saying was right, the shinigami sure as hell didn't feel the same way as he did, but then he couldn't say that with confidence because the Kurosaki never said anything about it, he just calmly explained that he couldn't accept the bluenette's affections at that time. The word love never really crossed the hollow's mind and the more he thought about it, the less resistant he was to the thought that he actually loved the stupid substitute even if his male brain was disinclined to allow him to admit it aloud. It was the same way he felt about Neliel, but the feelings he had toward Ichigo was stronger… more focused.

"I don't know…" Orihime shook her head in disagreement, slowly turning her eyes to look at the male before her.

"I know that in order to become a hollow, one must lose their heart… it is the whole reason behind the holes in your bodies, to symbolize that missing piece. Because that physical part is missing, you are left to believe that the only part that was human is gone now, causing you to revert to monsters, but I don't think that's true. That loss… that one piece of salvation, your humanity, was not lost at all. Your heart doesn't hold your emotions, but because of the symbolism implanted within your mind by mass conception; you think the center of your emotions is held within that organ so, naturally if it is missing then you are void of them, no longer anchored to this world, no longer human. Honestly, I think it's an excuse; a plausible explanation to justify the behavior of most hollows. If you believe you don't have emotions, then that denial will become the only thing you know; thus becoming truth.

"I think that because you have believed this for so long, you can't readily accept words like love, especially when they pertain to someone else. I don't pretend to know what you are feeling right now, or that you do in fact have feelings, I'm just saying that because of the words you have said… because of the way you held onto Kurosaki yesterday… I can't help but believe that you're in love with him." The tear that had been threatening to break free as she spoke, fell from Orihime's soft grey eyes.

* * *

Kyo – This chapter just did not want to be written for some reason, but I got through it and I'm happy.  
Who would have thought Orihime would be so intuitive? Well… she is a woman.  
And now that Grimmjow has officially accepted his feelings for Ichi-face, what's he gonna do about that little rejection?  
Will Ichigo ever accept his feelings? Will he ever return them?  
Only time will tell… In the meantime I'll be writing the next chapter~

**Chapter 14 - Hay Alguna Esperanza?**  
_Wherein a father passes knowledge.  
The past haunts the present.  
And courage is defined._


	14. Hay Alguna Esperanza?

**Chapter 14 - Hay Alguna Esperanza? [Is There Any Hope?]**

_Wherein a father passes knowledge.  
The past haunts the present.  
And courage is defined._

The days passed by and Ichigo hadn't seen neither hide nor hair of his blue haired roommate. It was a relief yet he was slightly distressed over it. One reason being because it wasn't like before where the two avoided each other out of stubbornness or anger, now he felt as if he had really done something wrong to hurt the male, but he figured it couldn't have been that easy to hurt the arrancar's feelings because if that was the case it would have probably happened a long time ago. Now, however, each time they crossed paths, the man avoided him or merely ignored his existence. Ichigo felt guilty and wished there was some way to fix it but until he came to terms about Orihime and talked to the girl, he was afraid that he was going to have to put his confusing relationship with Grimmjow to the side.

He remembered talking to his dad about the situation, asking for advice on what would be the smart thing to do. He didn't really know why he expected his father, of all people, to give him a reasonable, level headed response, but the male didn't fail to disappoint and frustrated the shinigami all over again.

"Why, my boy, it makes your papa proud that you are experimenting during your career in college! I remember when I…"

"No, dad, that's not what I was talking about!" He interrupted the male before he had the chance to go on one of his tangents. Ichigo had made the mistake of asking the man, rhetorically of course, what he would think if he was engaged in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex. Of course, despite his attempt at making an example, Isshin took it literally.

"So you didn't dump Orihime-chan for some cutey boy at your school?" Isshin asked, puzzled, finger on his lip and brows scrunched up (in what would be cutely if he bothered to trim them) over his eyes. Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes at the man's mannerisms.

"No, I didn't… dump her… for that." He still didn't like the way that sounded, even if it were true. "What I'm saying is I'm not sure how to apologize to her…"

"Well what exactly did you do to her, son?" The elder asked, mirth shining in his eyes, though he was being serious. "You make it sound as if you've committed a horrible sin." Though he was there and witnessed most of the emotional break up, Isshin was oblivious to all that had been occurring between his son and the arrancar. Ichigo's entire air for the past couple of days had read guilty, ever since that afternoon Inoue had stopped by looking for the soul reaper. He could also feel the tense air between the teen and his roommate as well, but he figured that to be due to too much testosterone and two very stubborn people sharing the same room.

Ichigo's shoulders slumped. "I didn't do anything to her _physically_… I may have hurt her in a different way." He said sadly and Isshin hummed in understanding.

"Hmm, emotional scars are the toughest to mend." Ichigo knew that, but it didn't help the situation and told his father so. "Well I'm not sure what you want me to tell you, Ichi. The best you can do is apologize and hope she forgives you."

"Yeah… I know," he admit despondently. "But she won't speak to me, she says she needs time."

His father shrugged. "Then wait, and in the mean time you can fix whatever the heck you broke with Grimmjow." That caused the orange haired teen to start in surprise.

"W-What do you mean?" He stumbled, frowning when his father laughed at his response.

"You know, for while there, I thought the two of you were actually getting along but then the air when the both of you are around one another is so tense. It makes me uncomfortable." He hugged himself comically, trying and failing to suppress a shiver, earning him a scowl from his offspring.

"Goat-face, I'm not sure if I can help that at the moment." Ichigo couldn't help the twitch of irritation as the man pouted.

"Why not? Grimmjow and Nel-chan are practically family, Ichi. I don't see why you two can't get along, you know he's really changed since being around you."

"Yeah I know."

"Are you still angry at him because of what happened in the past? You should really forgive him for that, Ichi. I bet you're just making him feel worse." Isshin's face switched and now looked genuinely worried, which dampened the soul reaper's mood even more.

It was one thing that he had hurt Orihime again, he didn't need the look in his father's eyes to make him feel even worse about himself. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't return the man's feelings, it was torture to even consider the probability of kissing Grimmjow again… of wanting to kiss him again. He didn't think that was possible, no matter what has happened, he didn't want his concept of the blue haired man to change.

_But it has changed_. He didn't think of Grimmjow the same way anyway and besides, it was he who came to terms with the fact that Grimmjow was a little more human than he gave him credit for. Ichigo sighed because the matter was much more complicated than it should have been. "I've forgiven him for it dad, and I've accepted him for what he is."

"Then what's the problem? Are you hesitant because he's shown a _special interest_ towards you?"

The orange haired teen was surprised at how often his old man was still able to startle him with the simple things he has said. He had thought that his father was as oblivious as ever, so he never had the fear that he would ever find out about… that. His stunned, "What?" made it clear that he hadn't expected the former shinigami to say those words.

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that he's fond of you, Ichigo." Isshin hid a smile at the color that bathed the teen's cheeks, even as the frown deepened. "And it doesn't take an old man's eye to notice you feel something for him as well."

Ichigo didn't agree or deny what the other said, but it was more complicated, more involved. More importantly it was a road he didn't want to walk down just yet…

"Dad… But, Inoue…" he tried, but the older Kurosaki waved him off with a shake of his head.

"Inoue-chan is a strong and beautiful girl. It was wrong of you to lead her on that way but what was done is done and she has a very forgiving heart. She wants what's best for you and so do I… even if I don't get beautiful grandchildren that are as cute as Orihime-chan."

Frustrated, Ichigo slammed his fist onto the counter. He promised himself that he wouldn't take the old man seriously but was horribly failing at his plan. No matter how much he told himself Isshin was wrong and that he should focus on the matter at hand, his thoughts always drifted back to Grimmjow, wondering… It wasn't healthy and he didn't like it (or so he told himself) but he could help it. He had to admit that lately there have been times where it was exceptionally enjoyable to spend time around the Jeaggerjaques, even if they did still have their petty squabbles.

This situation was much more severe than anyone was making it out to be. Grimmjow was once his rival, his _enemy_. A person that he had fought tooth and nail to defeat before succeeding; the two nearly killing each other on different occasions. Now his father, Urahara, and even Grimmjow himself expected him to willingly accept them being something more. To accept Grimmjow's approaches was to accept him as more than an ally, more than friends. He didn't know if he was comfortable calling him lover just yet.

* * *

It was a beautiful day, despite the cloudy skies. The wind blew across the sidewalk, pushing falling leaves into gutters to be washed along into the sewers. Inoue watched through the window of the small coffee shop as a mother lead her crying child towards the other side of the street. She sighed again. It didn't hurt as much anymore, but it still made her sad, the things she had been forced to give up. She promised herself to not blame Kurosaki, but there was still that longing in her eyes as she saw the mother and her child reach the smiling, middle-aged male, waving at them from the other side of the road.

_There is always hope for later_, she told herself.

The other day she visited Urahara's shop; she hadn't expected to have the conversation she did. She was supposed to speak with the mysterious shop owner alone and ask him all that she needed to know. Though initially when she had found Grimmjow in the room, she was shocked and a little upset, but she was ultimately glad for the talk they were able to have with each other. She was able to sort through her feelings (Grimmjow as well, she supposed) about the situation and come to an amiable conclusion. Now, she guessed, it would just take time for the rest of those wounds to heal as she tried to pick the pieces of her life back together.

Twirling the straw in her coffee around, Orihime looked up at the entrance of the shop then down at her watch, noticing that he was late. She wasn't surprised, she had called Kurosaki earlier that day, requesting that they talk over coffee since there was a lot that they must discuss. She knew the shinigami would come eventually but the waiting was beginning to make her anxious. She wanted to tell him the things she had to say before they flew out of her head.

Before long the door to the shop made a ringing sound due to the bell attached to it and Inoue looked up to notice the shock of orange hair she had been waiting for. Her coffee finished, she pushed it away from her and sat up straight, folding her hands in front of her on the table.

Ichigo entered the shop, glancing around before his eyes landed on the person for whom he had been searching. Slowly he made his way to the booth, sliding into the seat while noticing the eye contact the girl before him refused to make. The redhead sighed, unable to stop the tense and awkward silence that fell between them.

Since she showed no signs of starting or even looking at him, Ichigo decided he would be the one to speak up first. "Inoue… Look, I…"

"Kurosaki-kun, please…" She stopped him, turning her grey eyes to meet his. "Let me go first."

Ichigo steeled his nerves for what was about to come. He'd given this plenty of thought and now that he had Inoue right in front of him, he would set things right without any mistakes this time.

"I want you to know…" She started hesitantly, gazing at him as if measuring Ichigo for his reaction. "I've already spoken to Grimmjow-san and I am going to tell you what I told him; I am not angry with you."

"Really?" He sounded pleased and that caused a smile to form on the young fairy wielder's lips, but it soon vanished.

"I am disappointed, but that can't be helped." The orange haired shinigami allowed the small tingle of hope that festered within his chest to dim.

"Orihi- I mean, Inoue… I never meant to make you feel-"

"Just listen, please... I already know what you're going to say. You're so predictable, Kurosaki-kun." She smiled softly at the male who frowned somewhat at her statement. Orihime looked out the window once more before turning back to her company. "But I do want to let you know that I'm okay. I don't want you to torture yourself over the way I feel. I'm strong, I'll get over it."

"But Inoue…" He wanted to say so much but didn't know where to start or how to begin. He had said he was sorry, multiple times and it was clear she was tired of hearing the words coming out of his mouth. He had begged for her forgiveness… now he finally had it. She said she would get over it. Though he felt relieved, there was a part of himself that felt as if it shouldn't have been this easy. _But then it hadn't been very easy to begin with, has it?_

Shaking her copper head once more, Orihime offered an amused sigh. "Grimmjow-san and I discussed a lot, it was quite interesting…" she started, causing the orange haired shinigami's words to fall at his lips. "At first I wasn't really willing to believe what I was hearing… but after a while, I understood that the two of us weren't so different."

It was sort of refreshing to find a kindred spirit, even if it was the most unlikely person. Though she still hurt, Orihime was willing to give up on Ichigo, as long as he was able to be happy. That was all she ever wanted for him from the beginning. _Too bad I'm not the one that can give him that happiness_, she thought a little bitterly.

"Inoue?" Ichigo caught the bitter smile that faded before her distant eyes focused on his once more. He hated this, but was happy that he could at least speak with the girl once more. Inoue forced a smiled again, shaking her head simultaneously.

"I suppose you can say we helped realize a few things within one another. I can admit that it hurt but somehow it felt better… It's really strange."

"Inoue, I'm not really following… What do you mean you and Grimmjow discussed a lot."

With a thoughtful look in her face, Orihime's grey eyes shined towards the shinigami before asking, "Have you ever sat down and had a conversation with him?"

Ichigo was about to say yes before he really stopped to think about it. Sure he and Grimmjow argued a lot, but that couldn't be counted as a conversation. Besides all he's learned in the past and the things he's recently found out, he can say that he didn't know a single thing about the espada. "…No."

"Do you know that he cares about you?"

That question scared him because he didn't know that she was aware of the fact as well. "…Yes."

"Do you care for him?" Her eyes grew more serious and an uncomfortable light hit them, but she didn't lose her smile.

"…I'm… not sure."

"Despite all of this, you let him kiss you."

It wasn't a question. "… I… yes."

"Can you say you feel nothing at all for him?"

Perhaps the same way the subject once vexed Grimmjow, Ichigo found himself constantly in deep thought, usually concerning the blue haired arrancar that was currently boarding at his house. He truly didn't know how to feel about the male, it was disconcerting yet he could seem to bring himself to be disgusted by the feeling that he did have, thought he was loathe to admit them. "I can't say I don't feel anything at all…"

After a small nod, Orihime placed her hands on the table and leaned towards Ichigo slightly, head tilted. "When we were together, what did you feel for me?" It was amusing to see the redhead's mouth open and close like that of a fish before he finally managed to answer.

"I… When we were together… I was happy, I think." As if that wasn't the answer she was expecting, Orihime let her frown show.

"Happy?" she questioned a little doubtfully.

"Yes, I enjoyed your company. Honestly." Ichigo added when the look of uncertainty was still etched on her pretty features.

There was a moment before she resigned herself to that answer and smiled again. It was getting easier and easier. "Thank you, Kurosaki-kun. I'm glad that I was able to help you feel that way. But, do you hear the way you say these things? Even now, you speak to me as a friend, a person who at one point in time was more than a friend."

"I'm so-"

"Don't. I'm not blaming you, Kurosaki-kun. I'm just reassuring myself and helping you come to terms."

That confused the shinigami and he allowed it to show on his face much like all his other emotions. "Helping me come to terms with what?" Instead of answering directly, Orihime hid a cryptic smile and leaned her chin within her palm.

"In high school, Tatsuki-chan was the only one who knew how much I liked you. For months she yelled at me because I always came to her for advice about you, since she's known you the longest. She used to say she hated the way I talked about you like you were the greatest thing on earth, even though you weren't. I knew she wasn't saying it in malice, she was just being blunt. I respected her candor as much then as I do now." She laughed when Kurosaki gave her a look of confusion. "The point I'm trying to make, Kurosaki-kun, is that honest emotion is often conveyed through words of how one feels about another person."

"Yeah…" He still didn't quite understand what she meant, but he was beginning to get the jist of it.

He guessed it was like the time Grimmjow confessed to him. Though he had said that he liked him and all those other things he didn't care to bring up at the moment, the true meaning of his feeling lied within his words. Ichigo didn't know why his face felt hot, but he supposed it was due to the thought his mind (and his hollow) brought to the surface just then.

_He does not love me. He __**can't**__ love me._

"Even though I had liked you for so long," Orihime continued after a moment. "I wasn't confident enough to say so… until I managed the courage that day. I was so happy, I was beside myself. In the following months after and all throughout our relationship I was blinded by my own happiness, I never stopped to ask if what I wanted was alright with you. I was really selfish."

That sad smile was back and that expression hurt more than anything had ever felt before. "No, you weren't being selfish, Orihime." He placed a hand on hers in order to make her look up at him. When their eyes met she smiled and squeezed his fingers.

"Yes, I was. And you were being stupid and stubborn." Ichigo blinked before his usual scowl set in once more causing Orihime to giggle.

"I-I beg your pardon?"

"Even if I was the happiest person in the world when we got together… It meant nothing, knowing you weren't happy with me." Even if it was true that she wanted to be with the shinigami more than anything, she would have much rather stayed just friends if she had known then what she knew now. But yet, even after everything, she couldn't say she regretted anything, still she couldn't say the same fore Kurosaki. "Why did you agree to the relationship?"

This was the question she wanted to ask and was afraid of all at the same time because the answer would ultimately determine the outcome of her and Ichigo's friendship. Depending on how he answered she would give up and never speak to the soul reaper again or they could try and continue being friends. Kurosaki's face contorted uncomfortably as she saw him search his mind for an adequate answer. _Don't let me down, Ichigo._

"I… I, ah, I thought that if I were in a relationship with you, I could feel at least a little grounded. Since gaining the powers and becoming a substitute shinigami, a lot of stuff has happened and at that point I was a little lost to what I was supposed to do. I thought being with you was the right decision… I wanted so much to gain that sense of normalcy back."

His voice shook slightly and some of the words was rushed through, but it was the honesty that pleased the young girl opposite of him and she smiled kindly at the orange haired teen. With this she was definitely sure that she would be able to move on and the pain in her heart can start going away.

"Thank you for being honest with me, Kurosaki. I feel better."

"Really? So… can we still be friends after all this?"

Orihime's smile faded slowly, causing a worried look to occupy Ichigo's face. She looked as if she was about to say something positive, but instead she said, "If I can be honest, I would love nothing more than to say yes, but my emotions are still a little frayed and it may take some time. Please bear with me until then."

* * *

This was good. Ichigo was finally able to speak and clear the air with Orihime after so long. This was the lightest he's felt in quite a few months. All of this drama was too troublesome, he couldn't remember the last time he was actually happy and didn't have to worry about these things. The two of them continued to sit in the café and talk about this, that and the other when the subject came to Grimmjow again before too long, a chance that the young girl took to ask the shinigami a question that took him completely off guard.

She remembered what the blue haired male had said to her before and what he said Ichigo had responded. Twirling the spoon around in her latte, she figured that it wouldn't do any harm in asking. Besides it would be good for Ichigo to finally be honest with himself. "So, how do you feel about him?"

Unfortunately for him, Ichigo had been about to swallow some of the chocolate flavored espresso he'd ordered when the girl posed the question. He choked on his drink and spit some of the hot liquid back onto the table. He stared at his longtime friend for a moment before sighing and slumping his shoulders. "…I don't know. I don't know _how_ to feel about him. I don't know what to think about this situation. I just don't know."

Orihime smiled brightly at the other, at his distress. "Can I tell you how I think he feels about you?"

* * *

Ichigo didn't know where to begin in his confusion. Three months ago he had a girlfriend, was going to school, his parent and sisters were in good health and everything was peaceful. He could say he was content for that time, before everything started to get just a little more real. Events lead towards him sleeping with Orihime, even though he wasn't in love with the girl, to Grimmjow paying him an impromptu visit at his home. Since then everything in his life went sour and he didn't think he could ever pick the pieces up, that is until this afternoon, when he met up with Inoue and they had the chance to talk over all that has happened. He was able to clear the air, and for that he was grateful.

Sighing as he entered his room, Ichigo threw his jacket onto the chair near his desk and padded over to his bed. Just when he thought the troubles were over, Inoue hit him with something that had him disbelieving and on the verge of blushing at the same time. He didn't know where she got her theories from but, heaven help her, they were damn good. He had entertained the thought before that Grimmjow's feelings ran a little deeper than simple like, though he was very afraid to admit that.

Now it didn't seem to matter, but it did. He didn't really care, but he did. And it was bad enough that the arrancar was still ignoring him because of the way he turned him down the other day. He didn't know if it was completely true, but that was the only explanation he could come up with at the moment. He was drained because of today and silently thanked the gods that Grimmjow wasn't around to bother him about the subject; he'd had enough serious, emotion jerking talks for one day. Eventually he planned on properly addressing the issue with Grimmjow, but until he sorted out his feelings and figured out just what the hell was it that he wanted, he couldn't give the man the satisfaction of an answer.

The teen sat down on his bed and sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "So she thinks he's in love with me…?" It was so strange to say it out loud.

"Who's in love with who?" The voice came out of nowhere, startling Ichigo out of his silence. He looked up to see the hollow entering the room, closing the door behind him. Grimmjow looked a mess; hair tousled (more so than normal), pants and shirt ripped and slightly muddy and face covered in dirt. He looked down at himself after the first time the shinigami curiously gave him a once over.

As if to explain himself, he said, "Took Karin and Nel to the park." And Ichigo immediately understood, having been dragged and forced to participate in one of his younger sister's soccer games before. "So, who's in love with you?" He asked curiously, pulling off his soiled shirt to throw away at some point in time.

Ichigo stared at the man's back for a moment, lost in thought. _This was the conversation I planned to avoid today._ "According to Inoue, you are."

Grimmjow paused in his actions, his back still towards the shinigami, shoulders tensed. Ichigo couldn't see the other's face from his angle but he knew the male probably wasn't happy. There was a choked laugh that sounded horribly forced before Grimmjow attempted to say jokingly, "That woman has some wild ideas, huh...?" Before continuing what he was doing and getting ready for a much needed shower. Ichigo allowed the bluenette to leave the room, but when the male returned washed up with clean, comfortable clothing; he didn't hesitate to ask his next question.

"Are you?"

* * *

**Kyo** – Soooooo…. I'm not sure but the next chapter might be the last.  
I mean, I had the story planned out from the beginning  
andit was originally 15 chapters but I feel like somethings missing...  
I was entertaining the thought of extending it, but I lack ideas.  
If you want more, give me your thoughts or else the next chapter is the last~

**Chapter 15 – Quedate Con El**

_Wherein tears are dried.  
Pains are accepted.  
And an enemy shows his gratitude._


	15. Quedate con El

**Chapter 15 - Quedate Con El. [Stay With Him.]**

_Wherein tears are dried.  
Pains are accepted.  
And an enemy shows his gratitude._

**[Be sure to read the authors note at the end.]**

"_So, who's in love with you?" He asked curiously._

"_According to Inoue, _you _are." _

_There was a choked laugh that sounded horribly forced before Grimmjow attempted to say jokingly, "That woman has some wild ideas, heh." _

_Ichigo didn't hesitate to ask his next question._

"_Are you?"_

The blue haired male stalled in the middle of wiping away the dampness on his face with a towel. He continued after a moment and simply stared at the Kurosaki, unsure if the male was testing him or making fun of him or what. The weary yet serious look in the shinigami's brown eyes told him that this wasn't a joke and the boy really needed to know the answer.

Allowing the silence to stretch on into the room for a little while longer, Grimmjow considered his words carefully before he began to speak. "I know you have your own opinions about hollows... hell you won't shut up about them, and I know there's shit that you'll never be able to accept…" He looked over to the redhead for some kind of denial but was pleased to see the teen grudgingly accept the truth about himself, even if the response was only in his face. "But… and don't think I came up with this shit overnight, I've lost a lot of sleep and annoyed tons of people about this crap just to come to this point, but... _sigh_... yeah, with you I think I might be."

Though he had been partly expecting a round-the-way answer like that, to hear the confession fall out of Grimmjow's lips... Ichigo could not really say he was ready for it. It comforted his rapidly beating heart some to know, however that the hollow had lost just about as much sleep as he had thinking about this particular topic, even if they had come to slightly different conclusions. It was hard to grip the concept of Grimmjow, a man who had tried killing him on different occasions, actually being in love with him.

He knew the dangers of asking the question even before it left his lips, but he still had to know. "Ho-how do you know? I mean... How did you figure out that you might be in l-l-love with me?" It was awkward and there was no doubt that he was blushing, he could feel the heat in his face and ears, but he managed the words, surprised to see that Grimmjow wasn't as angry as he initially thought he'd be.

Even if he hadn't let his temper get the best of him, Grimmjow did frown and sigh as he sat down on the extra bed squeezed into the too small room. "I assume that woman told you we had a little talk at Stupid Hat's place?" Ichigo nodded, barely remembering her saying something about speaking to the male before... having a conversation about him and Grimmjow's feelings relative to the subject. "Well we talked about more than you. Actually she talked; I kind of just listened and nodded if what she said was true."

"And what did she tell you?" At that Grimmjow made a face and scratched his neck.

"It's not so much what she told me, but what I realized." He looked uncomfortable for a moment and Ichigo almost regretted putting the bluenette on the spot like this, but then he remembered all of the things the other put him through in the past and didn't feel so bad anymore. No, he reprimanded himself quickly, if anything was going to change, then he needed to let go of the past. Unfortunately the scary thought of what exactly he wanted to change came into mind and Ichigo scowled at his thoughts. Luckily Grimmjow spoke up again, pulling him out of his musings.

"I had asked myself a lot, ya know, what you meant to me. I had pretty much gotten comfortable with the fact that you meant more to me than any other human I know. All I had to say to her was 'I've never felt this way before' and that when I'm around you, I feel calmer than ever, even when you annoy the hell outta me." He left out the less manly parts in his pause as he looked up at the Shinigami who was staring at him uncertainly.

_'You ever consider that you might love him?' _He could still hear her soft voice, could see the way she looked as if she wanted to cry. _'The way you sound, the tone of your voice… I can tell you love him.' _

Ichigo's face was torn and Grimmjow didn't know what to make of it. The teen stood and paced the floor of his bedroom for a moment before stopping in front of the arrancar. He shook his head.

The red head couldn't get passed the admission that he meant something to the bluenette. Meant 'more to him than any other human' to be exact. What could he do with that information besides allow it to tear away at his brain and heart? "What if... if you're just confused? What if there just like the feelings you have for Nel? Maybe that's the kind of love she was talking about."

Rather than upset or desperate, Kurosaki still looked tormented, like he wanted to accept it, but for whatever reason he couldn't. He was thinking too much about this, about everything. Grimmjow got up from his seat and stepped before the shinigami, arms poised to hold him still if he started to pace again. He was sure the boy was going to give himself a brain aneurism with all the worrying he was doing. There wasn't a reason he could grasp as to why it was such an issue; of course he'd come into contact with homophobia while on his tour of the world, but he never understood it. The value of a person comes from within, not from who they are in love with.

Anyway, Grimmjow managed to say, "At first that was what I thought because that's how it was." He shrugged. "The same way I felt about Neliel was how I felt about you." Some hope shone within the shinigami's eyes, but Grimmjow was happy to see some disappointment as well. He continued after a moment. "But over time, as I thought about it again and again... I figured what I had for you was, well not stronger, really, but... more focused." Ichigo's face looked as if he was going to protest some more, but Grimmjow stopped it.

"Look, Inoue explained this in a lot of words that I really didn't understand, so I'm gonna give you the short version, 'specially since ya look like yer brain's about ta melt... She told me that just 'cause _we_ think our heart is gone, our emotions leave with it. But yer heart is somethin' much more immaterial. But because of what we've been told, that's how we believe. Tell you the truth; I think that's what's wrong with this fucking world." Grimmjow thought was nice to know, at least, that someone else felt the same as he did. While he would admit that at one point he believed this like everyone else, he wasn't too stubborn to say he knew better now.

As he stared at the teenager in front of him, Grimmjow noticed that the boy still looked as if he'd need a little more convincing. One thing he was glad to learn those few years ago that the redhead was just as hardheaded as he was. It frustrated him too, however because it didn't make their current situation any easier. Not that he expected to just confess to the shinigami and have him fall into his arms with the same words on his lips. Good thing he was just as obstinate or this might never work.

"I think that's your problem too." Ichigo looked up at the blue haired male in question, mind previously muddling over what he deemed fit to worry about under the circumstances. His orange head gave a tilt in question. "Because 'hollow' is all you know, ya won't accept me as anything else."

Dark orange brows twisted with his frown, "I can... I just..."

"Won't?"

Ichigo sighed and brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Look, Grimmjow, this is more complicated than it seems."

But it wasn't. Nothing was simpler, he just didn't want to admit it; didn't want to confront what came after he did.

"I don't really understand how it's so complicated." He could see the scowl coming back into place on the slightly taller man's visage. It had been so long since Grimmjow looked at him that way he forgot to remember that he wasn't afraid of that look. He opted for silence, however, knowing that he didn't have a good enough response to the male's previous statement. Grimmjow's irritation grew a little more. "You know, I think you're just scared."

_**You're scared**_. A horribly mocking statement. The voice was quiet now, but he could still hear the words as crystal clear as the day the hollow inside of him had said them.

_**You're chicken. **_

_**You see him, you see what he was, what he is and it terrifies you.**_

A sharp glare narrowed Kurosaki's brown eyes. "I'm not afraid of you."

"Not of me, you prick, yer still afraid to lose control, aren't ya? Why can't cha just let go? You might like the feeling."

It wasn't true. Ichigo was determined to beat that into his brain. He had morals to adhere to, that was why he couldn't accept Grimmjow's offer, why he couldn't encourage his advances. This had nothing to do with the barrier he'd built around himself. It wasn't even the allegation that he'd like... whatever Grimmjow thought it was that he would; this was about something more, some other thing he fought himself over.

_**You're afraid you'd like it too much. **_He hadn't wanted to admit to the voice, still didn't, that it was true. Grimmjow could be the one to help him let go of all the things he told himself he needed to hold on to. He would be the one that wrestled away the control that he desperately hung onto.

"Ichigo." The word was said soft enough to pull the teen out of his frown. "I'm gonna ask you somethin' and this time I want ya to be honest with me."

The redhead looked up into blue eyes that looked as troubled and as nervous as he felt in that moment. "I already know what you're going to say."

A sigh. "I'm gonna ask you anyway." He smiled slightly at the look the Kurosaki made and continued. "If I weren't a hollow, prejudice be damned, would you want to be with me?"

It was all so stupid and it seemed so simple to just say 'no' or 'I don't know' or 'it doesn't matter because you are a hollow, end of discussion', but then if he did he would not have been honest with Grimmjow or himself. Why couldn't he just say it, what he really wanted to say? What was he so afraid of?

Grimmjow noticed the look on Kurosaki's face and tilted his head. "You want to say yes, right?"

Ichigo scowled, it would also have been too easy to get mad at Grimmjow, to tell him he was dumb for jumping to conclusions. It would have been easy to storm out of the room, to get flustered and turn away from the ex espada. Ichigo had realized that since this - whatever it was that started between Grimmjow and himself - started, he hadn't done anything the easy way, so why should he start now? Maybe he needed to complicated things some more in order to see what he wanted, if what Grimmjow was saying was true. So, to save himself more indirect answers and very forward questions, he nodded, eyes averted from wondering blue orbs.

Grimmjow's smile nearly cracked through but he allowed himself to frown instead. He had the urge to grab Kurosaki and kiss some sense back into his stupid orange head, but refrained from doing that as well. For the time being he stepped closer to the shinigami, "Then why don't you? Why can't you just admit it?"

Ichigo came to the conclusion that the blue haired male didn't really want an answer to that question so he didn't bother verbalizing a response. Instead his answer had been an unblinking stare directed towards the slightly taller man. Grimmjow's scowl darkened a bit more.

"You're damn stubborn, ya know that?" The teen pursed his lips, tilting his orange head to the side. "I'm not gonna beg ya about this anymore, Ichigo. Yer human, you should be able to empathize with how I feel. Or have you never wanted anything in your life?"

After a short pause Ichigo sighed, Grimmjow was right; he should be able to understand what the man was going through. With all that he's been through lately, he should fully comprehend the troubles of heartache. He remembered all the years with Orihime, wishing that feeling would come along any day; hoping that he'd be able to fall in love with the girl as much as she had fallen in love with him. It was crushing when he finally came to terms with the fact that he would never have a proper relationship with her, he regretted that the realization came too late. So to have Grimmjow, of all people here, begging him to understand… begging him to accept him…

He looked at the hollow then, noticed the creased brow, the frowning lips. Looked down at the way his fists clenched impatiently. Ichigo looked back up into those expressive – even before the whole reclamation – eyes and wondered what he felt about Grimmjow. This time, he ignored his brain.

Looking back, he could say that Grimmjow wasn't a bad guy anymore. He looked out for the one that he had promised to protect. Hell, he looked after Nel like she was a part of his family. They were family. Grimmjow wasn't the same Grimmjow he had met 3 years ago. This might as well have been a completely different person, even the way the male carried himself changed. Grimmjow of the past was brash and arrogant and violent and dangerous… this Grimmjow was calm, still arrogant, but more humble, if that made sense. Parts of his personality didn't change but the overall picture did and that's what was important. Ichigo appreciated that, he accepted it, and he welcomed it. He loved it.

Now, given the fact that Grimmjow is a male was a mere quirk, Ichigo could see himself getting over that fact. Of course he had never particularly thought of himself as gay, the idea of it happening never really crossed his mind either so he hadn't any room to applaud or deny a relationship with the other male. He could even honestly say that Grimmjow was a really good looking guy and was certain that the male was approached on a daily basis, even with his less than approachable attitude.

_Gods, am I seriously thinking about Grimmjow this way?_ He asked himself, looking the male over once more. _So let's say I do accept his feelings, what then? I can't just change the way I feel about everything else. I just…_

"I just want to be happy… Grimmjow."

"You think you can't be happy with me?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saying?" The frown that had nearly relaxed from his features came back tenfold and Ichigo winced at the expression.

The orange haired teen allowed a small smile to creep into his expression as he looked up into the other male's eyes. "All I'm saying is that I want to see if you'd be able to do that for me?" Grimmjow ruffled, placing his hands on his hips and shifted his feet. He huffed and was about to yell at the teen before he paused.

"Wait, what?"

"I'm tired, Grimmjow. I'm tired of lying to myself. I'm tired of meaningless relationships. I'm tired of pretending to be fine with my life. You say you care about me, prove it. Be the one to change my mind. Make me happy."

Grimmjow smirked down at the boy in front of him, okay with that condition, okay with anything that included him and Ichigo… Perhaps too okay with it, but eager none the less. He gathered the teen up in his arms and squeezed him in a hug, smothering him in a kiss that was fueled by delight and lingered because of it. By the time he released the breathless Kurosaki back down onto the floor; the ex-espada couldn't stop grinning.

Outside of the substitute shinigami's window, a black butterfly fluttered from its perch near the window and flew off into the evening sky. Ichigo would have recognized the butterfly had he not been preoccupied with an arm full of blue haired hollow. The black shadow returned to its sender, rendering the small soul reaper confused as she cupped her hands to receive her unsent message. That was strange, the butterfly was supposed to reach Ichigo no matter what he was doing, but the message had been blocked somehow…

Well… it had been a while since she visited Karakura.

* * *

**Kyo** - THE END... Just kidding. It occurred to me that to end the story like this would be blasphemy, I mean come on, there's no sexy time action! So I'm working on a sequel as you sit here and read this. I don't know when the first chapter will be up, it's likely that I'll start a different story before I start the sequel to this, but if you're interested just put me on your author alert list thingy~ until next time.


	16. Un Mariposa

_**Kyo **- So I thought it a little redundant to create a whole separate fic for this, so I added it on to the original; this way you guys won't have to work to find it as well. Now I've been working really hard on this so I hope you enjoy part two of Blanqueo._

_**Blanqueo: Part 2**_

**Chapter 16: Un Mariposa [A Butterfly]**

Grimmjow grumbled silently to himself as he poured over yet another batch of papers, unrecognizable blotches of color littered through out most of them, words scribbled in some type of foreign language on the rest. Urahara had said that in addition to keeping the little girl busy, enrolling her in school would help her mind develop a little more, maybe even enough to age a few years. While the blue haired male had been opposed to the idea, the blonde shopkeeper had a point, plus he made it obvious that it was what was in the girls best interests, he later noted it could also give him a chance to branch out and find a stable job so that he didn't have to stay within the Kurosaki household. That he didn't mind, but he did mind the fact that he didn't know if this school thing was such a good idea after all.

The thought was nice, of Nel being able to hang around human children with the same or similar mind-frame as she, but as he looked upon the stacks of papers that she brought back home day after day, Grimmjow really began to question the applicable function of coloring a dinosaur or making a turkey out of fingerpaints, surely this kindergarten thing wasn't helping to improve Nels intellect. If anything it was making sure she'd stay a child, but if it made the girl happy, then who was he to complain. He just wished she didn't whine so much when he threw her assignments away, there was so many of them it was getting ridiculous.

Nel had been attending school for a little over a week now and though it had served to keep the girl child out of his hair for most of the day, Grimmjow couldn't help but admit that he missed her, never mind the fact that he'd be out working part time jobs for half the day anyway. He could reluctantly admit that coming home and having her climb all over him in excitement was the best part of his day. Now, though, he'd get home way before her and would have to wait to either pick her up or have one of the Kurosaki offspring bring her home, since the school wasn't very far from Kurakara High School, it was usually Yuzu or Karin.

Speaking of the Kurosaki family, Grimmjow's mind drifted to one in particular; the oldest boy child, Ichigo. Ever since that day a couple of weeks ago, he hadn't had much contact with the orange haired male. It wasn't due to avoidance or anything, Ichigo made it clear that he had midterms to study for and while he'd love to play around with Grimmjow, his grades were his first priority.

"_... Make me happy."_

Ever since the young shinigami had told him that, the blue haired male had thought of any number of things to explain what he meant. Sure he got that he was tired of his humdrum life and needed something to mess up his pace, but that didn't mean Grimmjow would immediately know what would make it better. All he had done was fall for the guy, he wasn't sure nor did he know or was prepared for what would come after. The ex-espada pushed the piles of papers away from him and laid his head on the desk. The hard part was suppose to be over, right? He wasn't ever a really patient man, and it seemed as if patience was the main ingredient to make this thing work with Ichigo and himself. He supposed now he had to ask himself one question: What do I want from Ichigo?

It was difficult because he had never been in love before. What do people normally do when they're in love? Go out? All Ichigo does is study or bum around at home and if he ever does go somewhere it's usually with that big tanned guy and his other friends. Talk about themselves? There wasn't very much about Ichigo that he didn't know or even wanted to know, and likewise about himself. At least not at this point. All the things he could come up with after that were stupid and girly, if not childish. It was awkward because now he didn't really know how to act around Ichigo.

There was a burst of sound coming from downstairs and Grimmjow immediately recognized it as Nel's voice ripping him out of his conundrum. He smiled to himself, knowing she'd run upstairs to greet him after she removed her layers of school essentials. Sure enough, before he could think on it, the door to his and Ichigo's shared room slammed open and revealed the ex third in her child form, currently wearing a wrinkled bright blue school smock. Nel's grin was wide and her arms were full of papers. Grimmjow sighed and tried to look irritated but the expression didn't reach too far before the young girl had him laughing once more.

Many minutes later found him and the young girl splayed out over the floor organizing her many drawings. Every piece of paper Grimmjow lifted up off the floor had an in-depth story behind it, which Nel stumbled through over and over again. The blue haired hollow picked up a relatively large - compared to the others - piece of dull green paper and unfolded it. There was a splotch of orange with a black triangle below it and a splotch of blue with a yellow triangle below it, in between the two discernible figures was a comparatively smaller blotch of green blue and pink. All at once Neliel stopped what she was doing and looked up at the portrait and Grimmjow.

"OH! ah've been lookin for that one!" She shuffled her way towards Grimmjow and sat on her knees beside him in childish excitement, pointing to each figure in turn as she explained. "This one is Itsyugo, that one is Gwimm and das me." She finished pointing at the blob in the center. "We didn't get ta finish cause I was gonna draw Hat-san and Dondochaka, Pesche, Bawa Bawa, Yuzi and Rin..." the list went on and Grimmjow found himself smiling softly.

"So what's the story behind it?" He asked the girl, interrupting her pronouncing more names incorrectly.

Nel paused suddenly and looked at the picture again, this time a little sheepishly. After a moment of silence, Grimmjow looked at the tiny girl, tilting his head slightly in question. He noticed her looking away from him, twiddling her fingers. If he looked any closer he would have noticed the tip of her ears turn red as well.

"Well...?" He was confused, since the girl readily told him all about her other pictures, even if they were about nothing at all, she came up with a story on the spot just to keep him entertained. Her sudden reluctance was a bit out of character and he became slightly worried. "Nel..."

His hand grabbed the crown of her head and gently, but forcefully, turned her face around to meet his. Her face was uncertain and she looked on the brink of tears. He frowned. "Nel?"

"Ah... nmmm... uuuhhh... mm-mmm." She shook her head fiercely and snatched the paper out of Grimmjows hands. He stared at her with wide eyes as she got up and ran out of the room, clutching the now wrinkled paper with tiny fists. Frozen in shock for a moment longer than needed, Grimmjow got over it and felt the sting of surprise melt away into anger, he got up and chased after the girl, calling out her name.

Not having to look for long,Grimmjow found the girl huddled under the desk in Karin and Yuzu's room, a dismayed Yuzu attempting to beacon her out with a soft voice. As Grimmjow entered the room, the brown haired girl turned her mouse-like eyes to him, tears threatening to fall from them as well.

"She just ran in here so suddenly screaming, I don't know what's happening." Sighing, he hushed the girl and knelt down to see the little girl crouched underneath the desk more clearly. Her face was buried in the green paper that had started this mess as she clutched it tightly to herself. He couldn't hear her sobbing, which was good because she usually made a big display when she cried and didn't want her to ruin something she obviously cared so deeply for least she blame him for it later.

"Nel?" He called softly. "Don't be a brat, you're worrying Yuzu." The aforementioned girl shifted on her feet, twisting and twining her fingers together. She heard the blue haired male sigh audibly when there wasn't any movement from under the desk. "This is about the paper in your arms, right?" He questioned her gently, keeping his voice as low and steady as possible. He saw her teal green head nod up and down from behind the paper ever so slightly. "Do you really not want to talk about it that much?" This time her head shook very fast and didn't stop until she pressed the green construction paper closer to her face. "Alright, we won't talk about it, you can tell me later if you feel like it, okay?" There was a lengthy pause before the little girl made a sound of approval and peeked out from behind the drawing. He nodded, relieved of her cooperation. "So are you gonna come out now or do I have to drag you out by your teeth?"

Although he smirked, Yuzu heaved a perturbed gasp, but it quickly turned into a sigh of relief once Nel crawled out from under her desk. He picked the little girl up and didn't bat an eye when she attempted to hide the paper from him even though he had already seen it. Turning towards Yuzu, he gave the girl a small apologetic smile, sorry that she had been slightly startled when she was trying to study.

"Well... aren't you gonna apologize to her?" He urged the girl in his arms.

Nel once again looks sheepish and turned her head away from Yuzu. "Thowwy," she mumbled.

Yuzu smiled her most comforting smile and shook her head. "It's fine, I'm just glad Nel-chan is alright." She waved them out of the room and continued on with her studies as soon as they were gone.

Even though he had dropped the subject and he and Nel had continued going through her projects one by one as they hade started before her strange outburst, the thought never really settled in Grimmjow's mind. Other than the times when they were first together, Nel had never acted like that. She was always willing to tell him any and everything, whether he wanted to hear it or not. This was strange. It obviously involved him and the shinigami... but what was so special about that drawing in particular and why did she react the way that she had when he asked her about it? In the end Grimmjow became frustrated thinking on the same thing over and over and just deduced it to school making her act so wierd. If this was what she was like after only a week he'd hate to see what extended exposure would do to the little girl.

"Oi, Nel...?" He voiced suddenly and she answered him with a soft 'hmm?'. They had just finished going through all her assignments and she tucked them away in a drawer he had cleared out especially for her. "Are you sure this school thing is okay for you?"

She made a face. "Yeth, Nel likes thool." Nel said matter-of-factly, and Grimmjow raised his shoulders in defeat.

"As long as you're happy, I guess." He got up from his place on the floor and went to lie down on his bed. He had nothing to do and no where in particular to go, he thought. He had resigned himself to just napping until Ichigo came home, but that was disrupted when a small body followed him onto the bed as well. Grimmjow's eyes snapped to Neliel's curious face, the look she regarded him with was oddly mature. It was at times like this he was reminded that she wasn't really a child.

"Is Gwimm happy here wif Nel?" She had asked uncertainly and Grimmjow raised himself up on his elbows. Her concerned eyes followed him and he laughed slightly.

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because Nel wants Gwimm to be happy too... as happy as she is."

Grimmjow wasn't sure where this side of Neliel came from, but he was concerned that she was worried for him. Had he changed? Did he let some part of his sure-as-shit facad break and show something different underneath? If he was that careless and let her see some shameful part of him, then he was sorry. "Of course I am, chibi." He ruffled her hair with his hand but her frown didn't falter.

"Are ya happy wif Itsyugo?"

These questions were getting harder and harder, he thought, though didn't know why they were. As the shinigami's name came up, he began to get defensive. "Should I be angry at 'im?"

"No..."

"Then say what you mean, brat, else I won't understand."

At that, Nel made a face that signaled she was obviously starting to get upset. "When you and Itsyugo are together, are ya happy?" There was annoyance in her voice and it took Grimmjow aback, the girl surprising him once more. This time as he answered her, he chose his wording a little more wisely.

"...I guess... well... It depends. But for the most part bein' around him ain't terrible, I s'pose." It was true... since his little confession and the lack of significant change in their day to day routine, Grimmjow wasn't opposed to the thought of being around Kurosaki. He guessed in the very near future that that would probably change but for now being around the teen or not being around him didn't have a positive or negative affect on his well being.

"Is Icchi happy?"

An immpossible question. He couldnt tell her that no, Ichigo was in fact not happy with his life, that he wanted help - from him no less - to change his state of life to a more desireable one. Even though it ate at him to know she cherished Ichigo as much as if not more than him, he couldn't muster up enough courage to tell the girl that even though he isn't now, he planned to make Ichigo happy someday soon.

But for now he huffed a sigh. "Gee, kid, I dunno."

Nel regarded him wryly but didn't ask anymore questions which Grimmjow was glad for. He laid back down and looked up at the ceiling, relaxing more when Nel laid her small head on his outstretched arm. They made eye contact before Nel reached her hand out and pinched the bridge of Grimmjow's nose. The blue haired male snorted slightly as he watched the little girl snuggle closer to him, falling into a midday nap.

About an hour later, Ichigo found the two in that same position, Grimmjow dozing off moments after Nel had. Ichigo smiled vaguely at the scene and the childlike way Nel squeezed onto Grimmjow's nose in her sleep. They were an odd pair, resembling a father and daughter cuddling up the way that they were. The Orange haired teen tilted his head curiously, not completely noticing the way he would have disregarded that thought in the not so distant past. He couldn't deny it though, they made quite an adorable sight, enough to make him take out his phone and snap a few photographs. This was sure to be blackmail material for later in the future. As he smirked at his pictures, Ichigo failed to notice a very awake hollow glaring at him, only when the male speak did he turn his attention to the ex-espada.

"You **are **going to delete those." It wasn't a question or statement, but an outright command. Ichigo gave the man a challenging stare.

"And what if I don't?"

It seemed as if the blue haired man was thinking of something fitting for the Kurosaki. Ichigo could feel his brain working to come up with a retort. After a while he guess it fizzled out because Grimmjow sighed. "Whatever, I don't care." Taken aback buy the sudden retort, Ichigo frowned.

It wasn't like him to disregard an issue like that, normally Grimmjow fought with him, tooth and nail, about every little thing. Though lately he had been picking his battles a little bit better, it was probably his attempt at a more distinguishable change due to his confession a couple weeks ago. Ichigo thought it flattering that Grimmjow was willing to change his character to show he was serious, but he didn't wish for the male to go too far with it, If the blue haired male changed too much he was afraid he would start disliking him again. Concerned, he frowned again at Grimmjow who once again closed his eyes.

"You know you don't have to hold back because of me. If you're angry it's okay to say so." He guessed he hit the nail on the head because cerulean eyes popped open once more, found his face and glared.

"Don't flatter yourself, Kurosaki. I just don't feel like having your stupidity be the reason for waking up the brat."He motioned toward the sleeping girl on his arm that still had a firm grip on the bridge of his nose. It sounded funny to hear him talk but Ichigo made the wise decision not to laugh. Instead he put his phone away and walked towards the pair on the bed.

"Why, is there something the matter with her?"

Grimmjow didn't care to rehash the situation that occurred with the girl earlier that day to Kurosaki so he shook his head no. After all it might not have such a big deal as he made it, but he still had to wonder.

Ichigo snorted. "How chivalrous of you, Grimmjow." At the dangerous squint of blue eyes, the orange haired teen explained what he meant. "You being protective and allowing her to sleep cuddled in your arms that way. It very much resembles a doting parent." After a moment he smiled. "You make an adorable father, Grimmjow."

Though the statement wasn't meant to be demeaning in any way, in fact it was almost meant as a compliment, but that didn't keep Grimmjow from perceiving it as such. He pried Nel's little fingers off of his nose and pulled her childlike body away from his. He didn't know why he was surprised still when he knew the substitute shinigami would always be able to rile him up like this. Even as he took his time getting up off the bed, Ichigo stood there, hands planted on his hips and a challenging smirk on his face, as if he was begging th heblue haired male to do something to him.

Standing up to his full height, Grimjow walked the few steps it took to stand directly in front of the Kurosaki. Though he didn't tower over the teen menacingly, he did have enough hieght on the other to cause the boy to tilt his head back slightly in order to look at him. He didn't know what he expected before he got to this point, though a little part of him did hope that the other would have run away in - if not real then mock - terror. But now, looking down at Ichigo and into his caramel brown eyes, all of his faux anger seemed to dissipate. At first he was prepared to yell at the male in front of him, but now, noticing all the little golden brown freckles that littered the shinigami's face, all he wanted to do was kiss him. Instead he refrained and merely walked passed the teen and out of the room, his destination downstairs to the kitchen where he could smell the dinner Yuzu prepared.

Ichigo paused mid frown, what was he expecting? Certainly not that. He knew Grimmjow had mellowed out, but this was ridiculous; something was wrong and he had to wonder if that something had to do with Neliel.

* * *

**Kyo **- Le gasp, now Nel has secrets. Poor Grimmjow doesn't know what to do with himself once more. And Ichigo is just confused. Well, I can certainly say that things can only get better from her... or can they? You see that, I was being mysterious just now. F.Y.I previous concerns (i.e. the black butterfly and the appearance of Rukia) will be addressed later. I bet you guys were thrown off by the title of this chapter, well so was I! I thought a certain short shinigami would make her debut, but that isn't scheduled until later so you're gonna settle for an unusually fluffy Grimmjow and Ichigo.

**Chapter 17**

_Wherein a child keeps her secrets_

_A question is answered_

_And who knows what else._


	17. Y Tu Que Miras

**Chapter 17: Y Tu Que Miras? [What are you looking at?]**

_Wherein a child keeps her secrets_

_A question is answered_

_And who knows what else._

"Go on a date with me."

Ichigo never imagined that he'd be done in by a few simple grains of rice. But there the little suckers were, lodged in his throat, attempting to suffocate him. As soon as he caught his breath, he looked over at the other to see if he was joking but the look that covered the arrancar's face told him that no, Grimmjow was quite serious. He wondered if it would be worth it to ask where he had gotten this ridiculous idea from but soon thereafter figured it to be some half-baked plan he managed to come up with on his own. Out of curiosity he asked a question anyway.

"Why would I do something like that?"

Grimmjow frowned. "Because I asked you to." he said simply like the answer was quite obvious, but Ichigo wasn't buying. Luckily his sisters had already taken Nel and wandered off to mind their own business elsewhere in the house and his father made his way into the front part of the clinic to work, so they were relatively alone having this conversation. Ichigo gave the blue haired male a squinted glare and Grimmjow bristled. "What? Isn't that what you want?"

He was confused, this is what he thought couples did together, right? Plus taking a step to further their relationship would help get his mind off of a few things.

Ichigo sighed. "What makes you think I would want to go on a date with you?" He deadpanned, his heart beat rising slightly as he pushed around the contents of his rice bowl, suddenly not very hungry anymore, while afterwards Grimmjow made a very disgruntled sound in his throat that caught the other's attention.

"Why wouldn't you want to go on a date with me." He seemed overly offended and Ichigo had to hide a smile, not meaning to stab at the other's pride.

"Why should I?"

It was a fair question but he still expected Grimmjow to catch an attitude the way he did. But as they stared each other down over the breakfast table, no glower made it's presence known on the hollow's features. Ichigo tilted his head to the side and lifted a brow in curiosity. That same brow lowered in confusion when blue eyes looked away in defeat. The brown pools of Kurosaki's eyes swiftly changed to concern as defeat turned into dejection.

_No... it couldn't be. Was it... was he?_

"Grimmjow... are you sulking?" That got a reaction, blue eyes snapped at him in a sharp glare.

"Now why the fuck would I be sulking?" He shot up from his seat at the table and stormed upstairs, leaving the shinigami in a daze.

_What the hell just happened? _

It took a moment to sink in before the teen stood as well, appetite completely gone, and followed Grimmjow up the stairs. This was getting ridiculous.

A week or two ago he would have written the outburst off as one of Grimmjow's normal overreactions to just about anything he said, but ever since about two days ago Grimmjow had been acting strange, he seemed a lot more edgy and aggravated for some reason. Ichigo figured it none of his business but when the blue haired male all but snapped at Karin - though he quickly apologized for it afterward - the redhead figured it was time he said something about Grimmjow's recent demeanor. However, every time he asked the man about it the bluenette would shrug off his concern and say it was nothing, an obvious lie, what really concerned Ichigo was that he didn't even bother to attempt to make it sound believable. To make matters worse Nel was beginning to act peculiar as well.

It wasn't anything too dramatic but Kurosaki did have his worries.

Ichigo found Grimmjow in their room, sitting down in a corner near the window. He entered slowly and made his way over to the arrancar, sliding down to the floor and crossing his legs to sit in order to meet him at eye-level. He stared at the bluenette for a long time while the other made it apparent he was not trying to make conversation or even eye contact with him. Ichigo sighed again.

"Look, I'm gonna be frank with you. I don't know what the hell your problem is but whatever is causing this attitude needs to stop. I can't figure out who acts more childish; you or Nel." He thought he saw Grimmjow's eyes roll to the side but that could have been a trick of the light. But the man still didn't look his way and Ichigo got angry. "What's you're deal? Why the hell are you acting this way, Grimmjow? Have you forgotten about your promise? Because if so we can just stop-"

"Of course I haven't forgotten about that." He cut off the shinigami abruptly, shooting the teen an almost cruel look with his stormy blue eyes. "That's why I offered the fucking date. But you had to be a bitch about it."

A huff of indignation blew out of Ichigo's mouth as he said, "I was just joking, I didn't think you would take it so seriously." Grimmjow's glare turned cold.

"_Joking_? You take me for some big joke? What, do you laugh at me behind my back as well, Kurosaki?"

Ichigo threw up his hands in defeat. "What the hell are you going on about now? Of course I don't. I would never laugh about something like this."

"Then why turn it into a joke, huh?" His voice got louder as the anger within him grew.

This was turning bad and Ichigo really didn't know why, what started as a joke, something he considered simple banter - never mind him using it as a defense to stall his answer because his heart was beating so fast at the time he couldn't think - grew serious. Now Grimmjow thought he was just humoring him? Did he seem that cruel? The orange haired shinigami really couldn't understand how the conversation turned out this way, it was honestly starting to scare him. He looked over at Grimmjow who stared at him in expectation, waiting for him to clarify his motives. He was upset, clearly, but there was something else behind this anger, Ichigo had the feeling he was caught in the crossfire of a bigger war going on and he just happened to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Cooling his head and letting out a long sigh, he squared his shoulders and looked directly into Grimmjow's eyes.

"I don't see you as a joke. I was serious when I said I wanted to try this with you, but lately you've been on edge and difficult to speak too... not that you were ever the ideal person to strike a conversation with..." he mumbled off-handedly before continuing. "... recently you've been downright mean. I was... trying to lighten the atmosphere?" He offered but the excuse sounded lame even to his ears. "P-plus you caught me off guard, I didn't know how to respond."

He saw Grimmjow fidget with his hands before his fingers came up to run through his messy blue hair. He lifted a brow as the bluenette closed his eyes and knocked his head against the wall softly a few times. A short moment later, blue eyes locked with caramel brown and they seemed calmer, a lot less angry. He froze as Grimmjow's hands lifted to cup around his face, the blue haired male pulling him closer so that their lips came together in the briefest of touches. The redhead blushed lightly, trying to hide it behind his perpetual scowl as his head was released and Grimmjow drew out a heavy sigh.

"Sorry, Kurosaki." He leaned back against the wall and Ichigo waited. "It's just that I've been worried... about Nel."

"What's wrong with her?" he asked, genuine concern shining in his eyes.

Grimmjow scratched the back of his head, truly wishing he could answer the boy. "I don't know, she won't tell me. She wont even come near me." Ichigo was certain that wasn't true. Nowadays Nel fawned over Grimmjow more than she did him. The connection they shared was something special, something he was slightly jealous of and he was sure it couldn't be broken so easily.

"Did you do something to make her angry?"

"The hell if I know. The only thing I can remember is asking her about this picture she drew in class."

After the incident, Nel made it seem like she had forgotten the whole thing, but later on her demeanor changed. She was often silent, lost in thought or not paying attention. At first Grimmjow thought it was one of her many quirks because the girl was known to spazz out at times and flat out stop listening to what people had to say but the day after, when she returned home from school she didn't even greet Grimmjow. She barely even looked at his face.

Lips pursed in confusion. "What was the picture of?" Maybe the contents of the drawing would give some kind of clue as to the little girl's behavior.

"Me you and her." Grimmjow explained and Ichigo's confusion only deepened. "But she said it wasn't finished so..."

"... so maybe she's mad at you for seeing it before it was finished. Artists can be finicky like that." There was a deft shake of blue strands and Ichigo knew it was a silly thing to suggest even before he said it. He looked up at Grimmjow's face and was forced to hold back a gasp at the distress that was written all over it.

"It's not like that. She's distant, she hardly speaks to me. Whenever she looks at me it's like she wants to say something but she doesn't. I don't know how to deal with this."

All of those years in Hueco Mundo. All those days alone, caring for no one but himself, loving only himself. It was lonely and deep down inside he hated it, he knew he did because once he was able to form that bond with Nel, he knew he never wanted to be that way again. Attaining something more, another reason to live was like starting a new life all together. It was like he was given another chance and being with Nel was like a breath of fresh air. Now that air was threatened and he was on the verge of suffocating. He knew that living for someone else would have it's difficulties, but he wasn't ready for this. He loved Nel, he could admit that, and her pulling away from him like this was the same as taking his soul away. Was this the way he felt long ago as a ghost on earth right before his chain rotted through and broke his hold on the world? Was this how it felt to have your heart devoured by a hollow? He couldn't tell because he couldn't remember but it's certainly what it seemed like.

"Give her time, she probably just needs some space."

"I can't just leave her alone... you don't get it, Ichigo."

And it was true, he didn't get the point and was very confused as to why Grimmjow was making a big deal out of this, but he also knew that this was something the male had to deal with on his own and it wasn't necessarily right to voice his own biased opinion on the matter. He couldn't say for sure that he knew exactly what Grimmjow was feeling, hell he couldn't even say he had a remote idea of what the other was going through, judging from his reactions. But that didn't keep him from wanting to know, from trying to understand the blue haired male.

But he didn't understand and really didn't know if he ever would.

His attention roamed over Grimmjow's face for a moment before settling on his eyes. The emotion trapped within them was so mysterious yet so familiar at the same time. When their eyes locked, he could almost feel the raw emotion burning from within him; it began to stir questions within the young soul reaper.

* * *

There were many things that were lost to her. Nel often found herself trying to remember things she didn't know she forgot, times of war, days in cold box-like rooms sitting at a table accompanied by people she never really cared for. But then, as fleeting as a dream, they'd slip through her grasp and return to the seemingly endless void of her forgotten memories. She never really cared about her once powerful self and much more enjoyed the simplicities of living life as an innocent child. Things were easier this way, without the politics and without confusion.

This was her life now and the fact that she could live it here in the human world with Ichigo and now Grimmjow was all the better. Of course she missed her friends in Hueco Mundo, but they knew she was being taken care of. She was happy and that's all that really matters.

In her ignorant bliss, however, Nel failed to realize how much more different the human world was compared to the hollow world. She received a crash course to the facts of life when she initially began living out there with Grimmjow in the form of a quick lecture on the Do's and Don'ts of Human Society given by Urahara at his shop. However, she was soon sheltered and protected because for a long while Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques was her only company. In not dealing with very many other people, the reservations she had about humans - like how most of them were probably all nice and friendly like Ichigo and his group of friends and nothing like the hollow personalities she had encountered in Hueco Mundo - stayed intact. It was so easy to be so accepting of people, and not so distrusting as Grimmjow obviously was but she did understand that that was naught without reason.

There was only one incident that she could remember that made her doubt the ideals she had placed inside her brain regarding humans. It was many months ago, months after Urahara placed her in the care of Grimmjow, all smiles and good will but with ulterior motives. She could still remember those days; she had still been terrified of Grimmjow. She didn't understand why she had to go with him; if she was on earth, she wanted to be with Ichigo. At that time she could remember thinking bad things about Urahara, but he had promised that one day she would see Ichigo again so she had hope, if she could see his big bright head again then it wasn't so bad.

Grimmjow had figured very early on that in order to do anything in this world, one needed money and he was very good at acquiring it through odd jobs and hard labor. At times he would check into hotels - a survival tip he'd gotten from Kisuke - and then disappear for days on end, but would return with enough money for the two of them to travel pretty much anywhere he wanted to go. At these times, Nel never knew if the blue haired man would return or not, he would only say that he was leaving and would probably be back later. Whenever he did return she would be relieved, she told herself that it was because he was her only source for food.

But there was a time in particular, the days of the blue haired hollow's absence had stretched from one, to two... then three... it was when the sun rose on the fifth day that the little girl began to worry about her guardian. She didn't know how to contact him and had no recollection of how to trace spirit energy even if the gigai he wore allowed some of it to leak out. They were in a place she didn't know and surrounded by things she didn't understand. The buildings were tall and nearly blocked out the sun in the daytime. The smells were pungent and the sounds were loud. Unable to pull herself out the state of panic she had woken from, Neliel opened the window of their modest room that lead to a busy street where people and cars bustled around noisily. She called Grimmjows name for many minutes hoping he'd hear her.

Morning turned into noon and then noon into night and still her guardian hadn't returned. In the back of her mind, Nel had known that Grimmjow was reluctant to take her with him and never really saw the point to it. She knew he cursed Urahara's very soul and thought it wouldn't be long before he abandoned her somewhere. It appeared that her worries were finally realized today. She remembered not knowing what to think, not knowing what to do; feeling so abandoned, so lost. So cast aside and rejected.

She made her way quietly out of the hotel and found the street on her own, the night time in this city even more scary than the day. But now she was on her own, she had to be strong; if she could do it in Hueco Mundo then she could survive there. As she walked among the streets, few people giving her curious stare while everyone else simply ignored her existence, she told herself she wasn't looking for Grimmjow. She didn't imagine this as a game of eternal tag of which the pursued ran so far ahead she could never catch up.

What she didn't know, though was how moments after she escaped from the hotel room, Grimmjow returned to the suite, exhausted and confused. He had finally finished a job he had acquired, working with less than favorable people whose name they refused to give; but hey, at least the pay was good. As he entered the room Grimmjow expected to see Nel somewhere waiting for him to return with food but as he searched the room for the young girl, his once uncaring eyes brightening to little more than irritated as his search proved to find the place empty. Anger boiling, wondering where she could have gone, he ran down to the reception desk to ask if anyone had seen the little girl escape from the room while he wasn't there but everyone was preoccupied, didn't see her or didn't care that she was missing. Frustrated, Grimmjow made his way into the night of the city and hoped to the high king that Nel was alright.

Grimmjow's search proceeded in levels as the night wore on. It started off as casual as he could be, walking back and forth along the block the hotel sat on, checking behind gates and peeking into small crevices. During this time he told himself that he needed to find her because Hat 'n Sandals would probably freak out and/or tell Ichigo if anything happened to the brat. When he didn't find her on the first block, he reasoned to himself that if she'd been gone for a long period of time, then she would have had the chance to make it farther down. He attempted to convince himself that he'd find her wandering around the sidewalk staring at something stupid. As he crossed the street and stepped onto the third block, his casual search rose to worry.

He didn't know the little girl's mind, never really cared to know either. Grimmjow was perfectly find living together as strangers, as long as he was able to do what he wished, but because of that, as his eyes darted behind every hiding space on the fifth block, his mind suddenly asked, would she walk in a straight line? Common sense would say yes, but Nel was different, in her mind, she was a child. Children wander aimlessly. Cursing loudly he turned back around; worry slipped into panic.

* * *

Nel surmised that she didn't like this place. The buildings were to big and the people were loud and scary. She much preferred her empty desert in Hueco Mundo. Because she'd spent most her life in eternal night, she assumed doing it in the human realm wouldn't be so different, she couldn't know how wrong she would be. The small girl had been walking for about an hour, she was cold and hungry but kept going, she had to find Ichigo; she bet he would save her from this. The only thing was she didn't know how to find him or where he was, the people in this city spoke a language that sounded strange to her, none of them sounded like Ichigo. Once or twice a stranger had stopped to ask her something but she couldn't understand what they were saying, got frightened and ran away.

She wandered and wandered until her feet were sore and would most certainly blister. By this time the sky was starting to lighten and the birds were waking, starting to sing and the streets were all but bare. Everything looked different so she guessed she had walked quite a long way during the night but there was no way she could possibly tell and since the day was nearing, she could finally find a good place to rest for a while. Soon she found a bench near a modest looking building with funny writing on the front and decided this would be a good place to rest, her stomach was angry and growling but she had no means to feed it and almost wished Grimmjow had taken her with him. At least when they were together he kept her well fed.

Sitting there she observed the daylight awaken the city and found it's dwellers to be much louder in the morning than they are at night. Though no one was on the sidewalks just yet, cars honked down the street and people shouted from building windows. For the first time, Nel realized that she was afraid and didn't know what to do; she wasn't prepared for this. The human world wasn't as it seemed, wasn't how she imagined, maybe it was because of Grimmjow, or this place, but she knew this wasn't where she wanted to be, she wanted to be home - whether that was in Hueco Mundo or with Ichigo she didn't know - but not here.

She didn't mean to doze off there, shivering and wrapping her small arms around her tiny body, but walking all night exhausted her and Nel couldn't really help it when she laid her head down and knocked out immediately.

* * *

That was how Grimmjow found her sometime in the afternoon. He had been frantic and at first all he did was stare down angrily at the moderately peacefully sleeping little girl. All night he had ran around arguing with and even threatening people because he wanted to find her so badly and here she was, asleep on the bench outside their hotel. _The stupid monkey must have wandered in circles all night._ Soon though, as he allowed his anger to subside, he noticed how the girl was shaking, how her breaths seemed shallow and how her plump cheeks were flushed more than should be at her age. He reached down to feel her head, almost in disbelief he snatched back; gigai weren't supposed to have fevers, at least none of the ones he'd ever heard about. Cursing Old Hat to every four corners of the wind, Grimmjow took off the jacket that he wore and bundled the little girl up in it, desperately in search for a hospital hoping that they'd be able to help.

Nel woke feeling like she'd slept too long with a cotton like taste in her mouth as if she hadn't drank water for days. As soon as her wide hazel eyes opened, she noticed that she wasn't where she last remembered, in fact the walls looked a little too different. As she looked around she swished her tongue around in her mouth to moisten it a little. Out if what she perceived was no where a bent straw landed in her face, it led into a cup where she could only guess was filled with water. Curiously she gazed up at the holder of the cup and frowned. Grimmjow scowled back, motioning for her to drink. Nel complied, still a bit wary and confused but not say anything.

That time barely seemed like anything at all, wasn't suppose to, but it changed the two. It was never discussed, never brought to light. Nel never said how afraid and alone she had felt, Grimmjow never admit how panicked and desperate he was. There was a silent agreement made that day, and a silent acceptance that the both of them were in each other's lives now, or as long as their borrowed bodies permitted them to be.

* * *

**Kyo** - So this chapter was interesting to write. It wasn't difficult to get out, just interesting to word in a way that made sense to me. I hope I did well. Sorry again for the late update. I haven't felt much like going through the motions of writing, you know what I mean? Like, I had ideas, I just didn't feel like writing them down. Lol. Oh and don't worry, Grimmjow will get his date, someday. And yes the end part was a little excerpt of the beginning of Grimmjow's little turn-around, I suppose you guys can use your imaginations for what happened afterward, I put it here to kind of give a little background as to why Grimmy was being so weird because Nel was ignoring him. I.E. Their lives together had a rocky start, something happened to bring them closer, now they're family (the only family Grimmjow currently has) So he feels threatened, like he's gonna lose it all, including Ichigo. It's kind of a -for lack of a better word- absurd thought but remember, Grimm's new at this. He's like a girl going through her period for the first time... OK not really but you get what I mean. Lmfao.

**Chapter 18**

_Wherein challenges are made,_  
_Patience is tested_  
_And frights are given a new name._


	18. Sorpresa

**Chapter 18: i Sorpresa! [surprise]**

_Wherein challenges are made,_

_Patience is tested_

_And frights are given a new name._

Nel walked at a simple pace beside the girl whose hand she currently held onto. In truth her day wasn't as pleasant as she enthusiastically told the young girl beside her, and it was starting to become such a bother. At first, in the beginning, it wasn't like this: she loved it. A new place with new faces that resembled hers in curiosity and youth. Of course she had been a little frightened on her first day, but who wasn't?

Though her fears had eventually been calmed and her first day had been a lot of fun, the week that followed was just as exciting if not more so, up until the last day of the week strolled about. She remembered the assignment, her enthusiasm as she picked out the paper and colors for the picture, her frustration and embarrassment when she realized she began painting with canary yellow instead of eggshell white. Aside from the slight mishap in colors, she remembered being so excited to show the people featured in the painting her masterful work. Then she recalled that the assignment had been called to rest for that day; they would get to pick up from where they started later next week. Nel had just put her brushes away for cleaning when a few children whom she talked to and hoped to call friends approached her desk and began commenting on her work.

"Why does yours have such funny colors?" Questioned a boy with freckles across his nose.

"We were suppose to draw our family." Commented a girl with pigtails and a bandage across her forehead.

"Yeah, normal families don't look like this." The boy commented, snatching the paper away from the tiny green haired girl and peering at it from odd angles. "Who are they s'pose to be?" He frowned before his dark brown eyes turned back to Neliel.

Nel pouted but pointed at the figures on the page. "That's Itsyugo and that's Gwimm," she identified each blob.

"Eeh? Wierd. They both sound like boy names." The other little girl voiced, placing her hands on her hips in a mature fashion.

"'Cause they are."

"Eeeh? Your family is supposed to be your mommy, daddy and you and brothers and sisters if you have them." The girl replied, eyes focused on the picture the little boy handed back to Nel, who snatched it once it was in her grasp. "Are they your brothers?"

Pausing at the statement, Nel stared at the picture in her hands. "No..."

She didn't really know or understand what Ichigo and Grimmjow were to her, but she was fairly certain that they were important enough for her to consider them family if not more. The other little girl once again voiced her distaste of the artwork.

"Then they can't be in the picture."

Nel frowned her small green eyebrows at that, not understanding completely what the girl meant. "...but teacher said our most important people..." She had said to paint portraits of family, important people and the like. Neliel wasn't sure what the little girl was going on about but she was certain she was wrong because if Ichigo, Grimmjow and the others weren't important, then she didn't know who was.

"That means _family_." The boy with the freckles enunciated, sniffing his nose rather loudly. He pointed at Nel's paper as he continued, "These people don't look like family, this one doesn't even have the same type of hair. Family share the same blood, a stranger can't be family."

That couldn't be true. "But..."

But the boy waved away her protests with a flimsy hand, already walking away from her side of the desk. "I know, I have three brothers and we're all family and we look the same. They _can't be_ your family, you look too different. Draw your mommy and daddy, it'll be better." He walked over to sit at his desk before the teacher readied herself to give out another assignment.

Nel was conflicted, unaware of how to respond. "But... I don't..." Her voice trailed off, not knowing how to explain that she couldn't draw her real family because she didn't know nor could not remember them. Because she was truly a hollow, she had no recollection of the years that she spent on earth, all spirits that end up in either spirit realm are like that, but they wouldn't understand. "I don't know how..."

"Eeeeh? You can't draw your mommy and daddy? What are you weird?" The little girl placed her cheeks in her hands while leaning on the desk they all shared as she asked the question. Nel simply shook her head slowly.

The pigtailed girl lifted up and leaned back slightly, a small grin showing her missing front tooth. "Oh? You're a weird girl with weird pictures who talks funny."

It was a hard thing to deny because Nel had no type of rebuttal for the other children, instead she tried not to let the hurt show on her face as she attempted to drown out the words that the little boy lashed out with next.

"Yeah you probably don't have normal parents, they must have weird hair and talk funny like you."

Each time she remembered the incident, Nel wanted to cry. She didn't know what was right anymore, and that was starting to affect her more than she came to realize. If her and Grimmjow weren't family, then what were they? Friends? She didn't fully understand that concept either, but from what she could tell, friends don't take care of each other the same way Grimmjow takes care of her and Ichigo. Pretty much since she first met the shinigami, Neliel had understood that there was something about him she'd never be able to let go. She knew that seeing his face or being near him was the only thing she'd ever need inorder to have any type of happiness. Didn't that make him important to her? But did that make him family? She didn't really know. And what about Grimmjow, she couldn't really imagine herself apart from the stupid blue haired espada for long periods of time anymore. He genuinely just made her happy. Doesn't that make him special as well? What was family anyway and why was it so unique they felt she couldn't have it too?

Nel tried to discretely wipe the tears that fell down her cheeks, but Yuzu was far too perceptive.

"Nel-chan? Are you okay?" At the girl's simple nod, Yuzu frowned and reached into the folds of her bag, pulling out a clean, pastel colored handkerchief. She stopped and knelt to the little girl's level. "Here, use this." It must have been something she said or the emotions of that moment, but whatever it was forced more tears from the girl, causing her to wrap her short arms around the youngest Kurosaki girl's neck. Yuzu patted Nel's back, rubbing soft circles as she whispered into her hair as the tiny teal haired girl cried harder. "Shhh... it's alright."

After a moment and when her tears were mostly gone, Nel pulled away from the mouse haired girl, taking the kerchief and wiping her face with it. Yuzu watched tentatively, hoping she'd say something but knowing she wouldn't, until a familiar yet distant voice pulled her out of the moment.

"Yuzu-chan!"

She heard a voice call from in front of her, Yuzu looked up to find a wild Orihime waving brightly at her. "Inoue-chan, long time no see." She smiled and waved back, perking Nel's interest and causing the girl to turn and see whom she was greeting.

Orihime paused once her eyes flitted towards the little girl, genuine shock and surprise plastered on her face. "...and Nel-chan?!" she gasped.

Nel's eyes went teary again. "Odihime-tan!" She ran towards the girl, glomping her at the waiste. Orihime smiled patiently and kindly down at the little girl.

"It's so good to see you again, Nel-chan." She stroked the girl's teal green hair, still a little surprised that neither Grimmjow nor Urahara told her about this. In the back of her mind she wondered if Kurosaki knew, until she realized who the girl was walking with and deduced that if he didn't know then he was more of a dunce than he lead on to be.

Yuzu smiled happily at the girls change in demeanor, however still mildly concerned. "I didn't know you knew Nel, Inoue-chan." Gray eyes glanced up into her own light brown ones, Orihime blanched.

"Ah...um, yes! I met her a long time ago, eh-heh. So where are you two off to?" She pulled the conversation away from her, hoping the young Kurosaki girl wouldn't ask too many questions. Yuzu smiled.

"Home, actually, I have homework and dinner to prepare."

Orihime had almost forgot how the young teen had to pretty much be the mother of the household now that their real mother was gone. She smiled at the brown haired girl, patting her head. "Eeh, such a good girl." Yuzu squeaked and giggled a bit before Orihime stopped. There was something in the others eyes that changed, "How... How is Kurosaki-kun."

Her smile was nearly forced this time. "He hasn't changed much."

Grey eyes looked over at the young girl almost sadly, but with a strength that said she would pull through. Orihime supposed that it sounded a lot like Kurosaki, still brash and rough, no matter what. It was good, she didn't want to see him act any different, didn't want to admit that so many things had changed. As her mind wandered over this, the small hands that were clutching her waist now tugged on her dress, Orihime looked down into woeful hazel eyes.

"Nel-chan?"

"Odihime..." She looked on the brink of tears once more.

"Nel-chan? What's the matter?" Sinking to the ground, The older girl took the handkerchief that dangled in the child's left hand and used it to wipe at her cheeks.

Though her voice betrayed her worry, Yuzu managed to say in a calm voice, "She's been behaving oddly for a while, I don't know what it could be."

Orihime bit her lip and looked back at the little girl. "Is it something wrong with Ichigo?" At the subtle shake of a teal head, Orihime frowned. "Grimmjow?" Another shake. "Then what is it?" Nel shrugged, clearly not in the mood to divulge anything at the moment, not with Yuzu so close, she couldn't have her say anything to Ichigo about her current predicament, even if she knew the girl would never betray her trust that way.

"Nel-chan, we have to get going, papa will worry." Yuzu said sadly, not wanting to tear the two away from each other. Orihime looked up at the younger girl then.

"Don't worry, Yuzu-chan, I'll speak with her then see that she gets home safely." Mousey brown eyes widened as their owner looked a bit sheepish.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to bother you, Inoue-chan..." She did want Orihime to coax what she could out of the young girl, in hopes of bringing her current mood up, but it was asking so much from the older girl. Orihime shook her head, standing up once more.

"It's fine, I promise, I can go shopping later, just get going."

Yuzu looked a bit worried but grateful. "I'm sorry, I owe you, Inoue-chan," she admit, bowing slightly before turning towards Nel. "Make sure you listen to Inoue-chan and make sure not to be out too late. I'll see the both of you later." At the young girl's nod, she smiled a the both of them before turning towards the Kurosaki Clinic.

Orihime watched the retreating back of the girl for a while before turning to the child at her side. Though Nel still waved at Yuzu's disappearing back, she could still tell that something was very wrong. But she knew that since Nel was a child, she would have use different tactics to retrieve information from her.

"Brrrr! , it's cold..." She said, shivering and rubbing her arms, even though the weather was fairly warm considering the clouds in the sky. "... how about some hot chocolate?" The offered treat got the young girl's attention and Neliel looked up brightly at Inoue.

"Yes!" she exclaimed.

* * *

Minutes later, after finding a vending machine that sold hot drinks, found the two ladies on the bench in a nearby park. Orihime sipped delicately at her drink while Nel just looked at the brown liquid rippling off the sides of the cup. She didn't press it, however, if Nel had something to say, then she would stay here ready to listen, it was good practice since she was to school to become a teacher.

After a few more moments of silence, Nel's soft voice made itself known. "Does Odihime have family?" She looked up at the older female, questions and so many emotions in her big hazel eyes. Orihime sat her empty cup on the side of her and smiled.

"Well... yes. My brother."

"Where ith he?" she asked curiously, her lisp a little more prominent. Orihime smile softly again, remembering the ordeal, and though it had not been a completely pleasant one, she couldn't forget it, even if she wanted to.

"Back before I could see spirits, his turned into a hollow. Kurosaki-kun saved me... and saved him, my brother, I mean."

"Y-you mean he purified him?" Greenish eyebrows rose in slight shock.

Orihime chuckled at the way the small girl's eyes widened. "Yes. But before he left, I was able to finally tell him goodbye..."

"And you weren't upset?"

"You know, I can't really say that I was. I think I was so happy to see his face again that it didn't really matter. Besides, I'll be able to see him again eventually."

Nell seemed to take that in and frowned. "But you might not remember him."

"That's fine," The brunette girl said after a quick pause. "Just the knowledge that we might be together again is enough for me."

A string of time passed where the two girls simply sat on the bench, staring at the abandoned playground, Nel still nursing her cooling beverage. She looked into its chocolate depths and all she could see was her reflection. She pouted then looked up at Orihime.

"Is that it?" She asked timidly, causing the older girl beside her to turn her kind grey eyes in her direction. Inoue had an expectant look on her slightly smiling face.

"What do you mean?"

"Is your broder the only family you have?" the girl seemed to understand what she meant and for that Nel was grateful, she was becoming increasingly unsure of how to express herself to people nowadays, when once upon a time, not very far in the past she had no problem saying what she meant, even if others didn't understand. This situation made her hyper aware of the people and relationships around her and she just wanted everything to go back to normal.

"No, there's still Tatsuki-chan and everyone from school... Ishida-kun, Sado-kun, Asano-san, Mizuiro-kun... even Kurosaki-kun..." Her voice seemed distant somehow, but Nel didn't recognize the emotion.

The list of people who Orihime named off caused the small girl beside her to frown. "But they're not related by blood."

"No... I guess not, but we are bonded by something stronger." She leaned her head to the side in thought. "I suppose everyone has people in their lives like that."

"Nel doesn't have any family." The statement earned the small girl an odd look from the older fairy wielder. Orihime frowned.

"Why do you say that?"

Nel played with her cup idly, wondering if she should tell the girl or not. If anyone could understand it was Orihime, she was the sweetest, most kind human she had ever met. The girl sighed softly, "Nel's friends at school... They said family is your mommy daddy and brothers or sisters... They told Nel that sometimes you can live with your grandparents too. That's what family is."

She had hoped for some type of denial, a reassuring word to tell her that those children had been wrong, she didn't really expect what the redhead said next.

"I suppose that makes sense." Orihime nodded and Nel looked up at her once more, her hazel eyes full of distress.

She felt hot tears pinch at the corners of her eyes. Has this been all a lie then? Was she really only alone? "See? Even you agree. Nel isn't human; Nel doesn't have a family."

"Of course not."

The words were cruel even if they were true. Apparently she had been wrong, horribly wrong, about Orihime as well. She wasn't nice, she was as bad as the children at her school. "Waaahh! You don't have to make fun of me Odihime-tan!" She dropped what little liquid chocolate she had left in her cup, spilling it over the dirt ground. Nel lifted her hands to wipe at her eyes, the tears flowing over non-stop as she bawled her eyes out.

Orihime turned her shocked eyes towards the girl, unaware that her words caused such harm. "Uwaah! I'm not, I'm not making fun of you, Nel-chan!" She placed a comforting hand on the girls back to try to calm her. When it didn't work she made a sound of distress. "Maybe I said that a little too harshly... I'm so sorry. What I meant was of course you don't have a normal family like those human children because you're not human."

Nel cried harder and a small laugh managed to break through her mask of concern. Orihime smiled. "I don't mean it in a bad way, I'm just telling the truth. Your family and their family is different. You simply can't compare the two."

Sobbs lifted long enough for the girl to gaze at her in question from behind tear filled eyes. Lifting a hand to place on her head, Orihime patted the small hollow lovingly, the way a mother would comfort her child.

"Nel-chan, you can't remember your parents, no spirit can, but I'm sure you've found someone who makes a wonderful substitute in their place for you. I'm sure you don't recall if you had brothers and sisters so you've allowed others to come in and fill that place. You may never be able to remember your grandparents or aunts and uncles so that opens up a place for those you consider special to fall. Do you understand what I'm saying? Not all families are the same, but all family love one another."

There was a moment of pause as Nel allowed the older girl's words to sink in. "Nel thinks she understands a little." Her mind immediately went to Ichigo, Grimmjow, Isshin, Karin and Yuzu, even the friends she'd left in Hueco Mundo. They were her family, she didn't have to question it.

Orihime smiled. "Good. I hope what I said helps you feel better."

Her smile was returned and Nel felt lighter, less burdened. "Mmm, Nel feels a lot better. Thank you, Odihime-tan." She was sure the girl knew what she was talking about and she would make sure she didn't let the others at school get her down anymore. Her family was small and unconventional but it was the kind she needed.

* * *

Ichigo prayed to the gods, whatever ones that happened to be listening at this very moment, that what he saw before his eyes was not real. He willed the image to leave his mind. He fervently wished that the short, black-haired shinigami was not in his room. It was at this time he wished he was just a little more religious, offered up a few more prayers, participated at any temples near his home more often because the gods- shinigami's be damned- that were there either hated him or weren't listening. And judging from the look the shorter woman gave him, it was a little of both.

"R-Rukia..." He swallowed, forcing the lump out of his throat. On one hand he was happy to see her again, although she was still a fully registered soul reaper and the last time he checked Grimmjow was still a hollow, gigai aside. "What... er... what are you doing here?" He tried to smile, it didn't work, but he tried.

Thankfully the Arrancar wasn't in the room when she popped through the widow, unluckily he was still in the house, just downstairs. Ichigo didn't know how much time he had to get rid of Rukia before the stupid blue haired hollow pranced up the stairs and into the room like a moron.

Thin black eyebrows arched up at his inquiry and the small death god looked as if she was contemplating answering that question.

"Well, in all honesty, I had a few days vacation and I thought here would be the perfect place to spend them." She admit, eying Ichigo's closet.

The orange haired male blanched, face draining of color before he got a hold on himself. "You can't just volunteer yourself to stay here." He wanted to get angry but figured he should have expected something like this from the woman. Rukia mock pouted at the teen.

"C'mon, Ichigo, it's not like it's a big deal, your family practically knows everything by now."

"It still doesn't keep it from being weird." He nearly grumbled.

The raven haired girl rolled her eyes. "I don't see why your still so bothered by this... Okay, I got it! Instead of staying in here, I'll just bunk up with your sisters like last time. No problem!"

Ichigo massaged the bridge of his nose. "Why can't you stay somewhere else? It's already crowded here as it is." His eyes snapped open to glance at the girl, did he just bring attention to that? For the first time since the small female stepped into the room, she really looked around, noticing the extra furnishings littered throughout the room.

"Now that you mention it, this room does seem a lot smaller than normal." She gazed around, missing the glare sent over by brown eyes. Rukia's deep blue eyes fell on the bed next to her that she realized didn't belong to Ichigo, it had a different scent, come to think of it, everything in this place does, even Ichigo. She turned back towards the substitute with curious eyes.

"So what's this now? Family move in with you or something?" Ichigo smiled, nodding.

"Exactly. Like four or five of them. They're real messy too... I can barely think with all the clutter and noise. Yuzu and Karin have to deal with the bulk of them though. Dad doesn't like it but hey, they're family, right?" He hoped she took the bait and from the look in her eyes it seemed she was going to.

"Yes... I suppose, it is family and I wouldn't want to impose any more than what you're already dealing with." Her hand was placed delicately below her chin and her face looked a little disappointed. Ichigo cheered within his head, thanking the Buddha that Rukia wasn't the sharpest blade in the bunch sometimes. "Well..." she voiced, about ready to give up, turning towards the window out of which she came. "I guess I can just go to Orihime's place... it is a bit bigger after all."

Ichigo continued with his decidedly creepy smile and all but pushed the Kuchiki out of the window. "Yeah, plus you and her will have way more to talk about, definitely a better place to spend a vacation."

"Oi, don't say it like we won't be seeing each other at all, I plan on getting my gigai from Urahara, so be prepared." She grumbled, allowing herself to be pushed out the window by Ichigo. The redhead nodded once more.

"Sure, I'll take a whole day off, now go!" He gave her a final pushed as she sat poised to jump off the window sill, but she didn't fall, just hovered right outside his house.

"Oh yeah!" She turned suddenly, realizing a detail she had forgotten. "I would have contacted you sooner about this but something intercepted my butterfly message, so I couldn't send you the news." Ichigo thought on that information for a moment, considering when she probably sent the communication device. Rukia took the male's silence as confusion and made a bewildered face also. "Eh, it doesn't matter, probably some corruption in the spirit, no harm done, only a bit odd... All that matters is-" Whatever she was going to say was left forgotten as her ocean blue eyes widened in shock before narrowing in anger. "Ichigo! Behind you!"

* * *

Kyo – This chapter wanted to be written soooooo badly but then my hands were like 'Lol nope'. I like it, though I am a little concerned with making Orihime the main go-to person for everyone. I don't know what it is, she just seems like the perfect person to sit down and talk about your problems with. She's kind enough to listen and not judge but there is also a quaint naivety that'll offer up quiet truth. But maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. And Rukia finally shows up, Yay! And don't worry I don't want to make it typical and have her all like 'Hur dur a hollow, keel et', though she won't be particularly nice to him either.

_Chapter 19: Ella es Mi Familia_

_Wherein bridges are burnt_

_Bonds are strengthened_

_And emotions are given a name._


	19. Ella es mi Familia

Chapter 19: Ella Es Mi Familia

_Wherein bridges are burnt  
__Bonds are strengthened  
__And emotions are given a name._

Ichigo knew, leading up to that point, what he was going to see before he turned around, before he looked at the piqued interest within cerulean orbs as he frowned at the man standing in his doorway. He didn't really have time to assess that the stupid hollow had, in fact ruined his fragile ruse by waltzing into the room like he said he would before he was roughly grabbed from the window by two very small but strong hands. So startled was he that he even omitted a less than manly squeak from his place high above the rooftops as he was dragged along by the panicking shinigami.

"What the hell is he doing here?! Oh god, was your family home?" While moving as quickly as she could, Rukia turned her eyes down towards the shinigami who looked rather nonplussed about the entire situation. She asked the redhead again, this time in louder tones.

"Yes." The male replied, but otherwise showing no other emotions. Not fear, panic... nothing. Rukia cursed and skidded to a stop before speed stepping back into the direction of Ichigo's home.

"We have to get them out of there! You have your substitute soul reaper badge still, right? You have to change right now!" She kept speeding along but faltered when she didn't feel the familiar weight of Ichigo's body without a soul. Glaring down at the human once more, Rukia stopped and threw his body to the ground, relieved that he landed in the sandbox of a nearby park after the fact. "What the hell is wrong with you?! I said pull out your spirit form, so do it!" She yelled at the substitute soul reaper who climbed out of the sand box looking more than a little disgruntled.

After glaring at the short female, Ichigo turned to walk back home, ignoring the smaller shinigami's screams. Rukia watched him for a while, her insults dying down as she looked at him walk away. She floated onto the ground, a look of utter confusion on her face with how the boy was acting. Following the Kurosaki to his home, she watched as he walked in calmly and after waiting a short period of time, staring at the door all the while, she looked up at his window, an expression of deep contemplation on her face.

Finally deciding to move into action, Rukia jumped up and into Ichgo's bedroom window, a little taken aback at the scene she found when she landed.

Ichigo stood next to the arrancar, the both seemed to be deep in conversation before she landed. Ichigo turned towards her as she stood, her cobalt eyes holding so many questions, sliding over towards the blue haired espada before returning to his.

"We should talk."

* * *

Rukia did not like the situation at all and certainly made her feelings known to the orange haired soul reaper, which Ichigo agreed with, much to Grimmjow's chagrin.

"I don't like that he has to live hear either, Rukia." He began to explain to the short haired girl whose eyes darted back and forth from him to the estranged espada. "...but this is Urahara... what do you expect me to do?" He held up his hands in defeat and the small woman nodded.

"I will agree that Urahara can be a bit... deranged at times but this reaches a whole new level, Ichigo." She glared at Grimmjow who stood away from the two at the young Kuchiki's request. He didn't glare back, only eyed the two carefully, watching like a hawk hunting his prey. Ichigo was worried; he hadn't seen the male look that way since he returned.

"Well..." Rukia was saying, bringing his attention back on her. "I don't agree with this. In fact I advise you to speak with Urahara before too much time has passed and bully him into considering possible relocation for that monster." Ichigo didn't know if it was the word itself or the way the dark haired girl said it but the 'monster' that fell from her lips made him angry and slightly hurt.

Either way he nodded and she looked somewhat pleased. He got up when she did, prepared to see her to the window, semi confident Rukia wouldn't tell her superiors about this situation unless the need arises or she got to talk to Hat n' sandals, whichever came first. Ichigo thought she would have wanted to leave immediately but the small girl stopped to look back at the arrancar.

"If you do anything to hurt Ichigo, I swear I'll kill you myself."

The blue haired male just smirked haughtily, giving a brief wave to the soul reaper.

Rukia tsked and turned away, allowing the orange haired boy to walk her to the window before grabbing him close and bringing him down to her level. "Don't hesitate to call me if something happens... and remember to watch your back around that creature." Ichigo didn't nod or say much of anything, instead as he heard another derogatory word aimed at Grimmjow he got frustrated and wanted to tell the small woman before him that Grimmjow had a name, one that she should use instead of calling him monster. But he couldn't speak up in fear of rousing suspicion within the female. When he had told Kuchiki about his predicament with Grimmjow, he conveniently left out the part containing their current relationship status, it was already strange that he was living in his household, if Ichigo started defending the hollow, who knows which way her head would turn.

Ichigo watched the girl leave with a weary look, distantly wondering if this was the start to something bigger and viciously hoping it wasn't. True, a couple of years ago capturing Grimmjow would have been like taming a wild lion on the prowl. Now, with how much the male has changed, he was more like a hunger sated cat napping his days away in the hot sun.

"Well... that was pleasant." Grimmjow mumbled from the other side of the room. Ichigo saw that his face said otherwise but made no comment on it. He sighed heavily and ran his hands through his naturally tousled orange hair.

"Rukia's just Rukia... she doesn't mean anything by it." Though he spoke those words to Grimmjow in comfort, he didn't know if he really meant them for himself. After all, he did get upset by the things she was saying about the blue haired male. He told himself it was a normal reaction because he knew now that the man wasn't like that anymore and just felt bad that she could never come to understand the difference due to just prejudice.

Grimmjow, however wasn't so easy to believe his lie. "I'm sure she doesn't. In fact I think she's exactly how you were; unbiased and non judgmental." Ichigo frowned at the sarcasm.

"Look, she's here for a couple of days, whether we like it or not and as long as she doesn't ask too many questions about anything, there's nothing to worry about."

"Uh huh, because soul reapers are anything but inquisitive."

There was something about the way the blue haired male said that that irritated the teen. "I don't know what you want me to do about it, It's not like I asked her to drop in like that. You should have been smart enough to stay downstairs until I got her to leave."

At that Grimmjow flinched in frustration and a scowl darkened his normally bright blue eyes. Ichigo wished he hadn't said the words as soon as they left out of his mouth, but could not take them back now. His only choice was to stand his ground and watch the impending downfall unfurl.

"I see," Grimmjow nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "So this is my fault now? You know this wasn't my first choice for a pit stop either, Kurosaki. In all honesty I didn't even want to step foot back in your crappy little town again." The only reason why he had was because Nel wouldn't stop nagging him about seeing the stupid shinigami again. He had given in to a moment of weakness, but, like a fool, hoped for the best.

What had he thought was going to happen? That everyone would welcome him with open arms? Not likely, but some praise would have been nice. It took most of his sanity to not bully the weak and murder the stupid people in this world. He expected Ichigo to say something, anything about that, say that he didn't think he had it in him or that he did well... some form of praise would have been good, but that wasn't what he got, all the boy was about was insults and inquiries. Going on about how arrancar _can't_ change, not that they simply won't change, or commenting on how he couldn't control his fighting instincts despite the fact that Grimmjow hadn't lifted a finger to him the first time they met again even though his body burned for him to punch the redhead in his face.

Since then, however, everything has changed and Grimmjow was content, for a time, but now Nel has him worried and there's a new shinigami here to judge him. He just thought that if there was anyone who would take up for him, to defend him, it would have been Ichigo. It kinda hurt to think he had that loyalty but then to realize it was only an illusion.

There was a slight flinch in Ichigo's spine but he ignored the feeling that those words caused. "So why did you stay then? Why risk it when you know that I'm friends with some of the most unpredictable shinigami in seireitei?"

"Don't be stupid, shinigami, I didn't give a damn about your personal life more than a few weeks ago!" Grimmjow scoffed, barking back with an anger that was twice as fierce as the one thrown at him.

There was another flinch at the word shinigami, something the hollow hadn't referred to him as in such a long time, he noticed. The way he spoke it now made them seem so distant, just like all those months ago. Ichigo didn't know if he liked the way that felt. In his mind, he didn't care but his heart... it hurt. "S-So why the hell do you care now?!" The impulsive side of Kurosaki snapped, unable to deal with or understand this new feeling and his fist crashed directly into the nearest thing to him. Luckily it was his bed and the only damage done was a few pillows tossed into the air. Unsatisfied, he punched the wall next, making a fine indent of his knuckles. "Don't you hate me? Why are you so concerned about me now?"

The man standing on the opposite side of the room was unimpressed with his outburst, shown by the visible sign of disgust written on his face. Though it didn't seem possible, his eyes darkened further. "You know how I feel about you, Kurosaki."

The frown drew further over Ichigo's brow. "No." More like he didn't want to know. "I don't. H-How could I? You've never said it."

"Bullshit!" It was time for Grimmjow's violent reflexes to kick in and he banged his fist against the closet doors. "I've said it before!" But Ichigo just shook his head.

"No. When you confessed to me you said you _might be_. That's not clear enough for me." He crossed his arms over his chest and turned his head in anger. What the hell am I doing? Why am I torturing myself like this, it's not like he hasn't made it clear, the way he feels about me... "Anyway, you say one thing and then do another. What am I suppose to think."

Calm, cool, collected, that all flew out the window in a fashion that only Ichigo could grant. Grimmjow slid hid hands over his face roughly as if to scrub away his anger but it wasn't working. Nothing was working anymore. "What the fuck does it matter when you don't even feel the same way!"

"H-How do you know what I feel?"

"I know that you don't care enough to tell that short little soul reaper my name ain't monster or creature or any of the other names she called me."

"Oh, please, Grimmjow, don't make like you're some sensitive kitten. I'm sure others have called you worse."

"But not when the person I liked was in the room staring at them. If I was a monster like she said, I would have killed her right then, that's the kind of person I used to be... I can get why you didn't tell her about me, but I don't understand you. I don't know how you feel..." Grimmjow realized his moment of weakness, noticed the sadness creeping into the lines of his face, making his anguish visible. This was the last thing he wanted, to be arguing with Kurosaki, but the boy was so frustrating, it was all they seemed to be good at doing together. He looked at the redhead then and massaged his forehead, smoothing the wrinkle away from his brows.

"You know what? Yer right, how would I know how you feel when you don't say or do anything about it. I could get on my knees right now and confess my love for you and you wouldn't even know what to think. "

"I'm not blind to my emotions, Grimmjow." Though he did not voice the way that he really felt either, so it was the same as being blind to them, one would suppose, but it was all so much... So much to take in, so much to accept.

_**No more than you have to, Aibou.**_

_Urg, not you too..._

_**Look, ah've been tellin' ya that you need to stop thinking like a shinigami cause you ain't one. Yer more hollow than anythin'. But it's fine by me if you keep denyin' yer true nature, just gives me chance to take what's rightfully mine.**_

"Really? Because I think you are." Ichigo was once again pulled out of his inner dialogue with himself. He looked up at the blue haired ex-espada and worried his lower lip at the way the hollow knew more about him than he knew himself. He watched the other step towards him slowly. "I felt the way you tensed up when she called me those names... I see the way you look at me when you think I don't notice. You say you're not blind but do you honestly see what you do to me? How much I-"

He was so close now, so very close but the two weren't touching. Grimmjow kept his distance, like he was holding back his emotions. "Grimm...jow..." A heavy sigh broke the distance between them.

"Look, Ichi... I admit that I fucked up in the past and made a lot of mistakes. That was the only way I knew how to survive, nothing else mattered." It was a song he had sang before, a time in his past he couldn't seem to outlive, yet he wanted to. Wanted to let go of Sexta Espada Grimmjow Jeaggerjaques and just be Grimmjow. "But now... I just. Haaah, forget it. I'm tired of explaining it."

Up until that moment, Ichigo had been staring at the other intently, frowning at the way he seemed to keep reverting back to this same situation. Grimmjow turned away and he would have let him walk out had he not reminded himself that this was suppose to be new. A fresh start. He had asked for the male to make him happy, and he was trying, truly and earnestly, to all of his ability, trying to fill that need but as long as Ichigo himself made that distance between them, he would never fulfill that promise.

He was sure that if it were anybody else in any other moment, Ichigo would have let them go, but the finality of the statement burned into the shinigami's conscious, warning him that if he let the male walk away this time he wouldn't see him turn back. "W-Wait." He felt that the moment was drawn out and very storybook, but it was what he needed so when his fingers reached out for Grimmjow, instead of closing around his forearm, his other hand lifted to encircle around the males' torso, effectively stopping him in his tracks.

The slight pain of the moment caused a place behind his heart to cringe and Grimmjow frowned into the ceiling. "Gods... there better be a reason why your holding onto me so tight, Kurosaki." He felt the red head bury his face into the back of his neck and the blue haired espada sighed.

"Mmph ahwy..." escaped the soft mumble and Grimmjow sighed again, this time softly and with a hint of a smile.

"Mmm." Was all he could say to that.

The redhead freed his face from between the nook of the slightly taller male's neck and shoulder. His grip slackened and Grimmjow was able to turn and face him once more, this time more weary than before. Ichigo scratched the side of his face with an errant finger. "When she called you those things, it reminded me of the way I treated you. I felt bad about it and I hated her for it, I can admit that."

There was a short huff of amusement from the bluenette and he ruffled the teen's orange spikes. "Jeez, Kurosaki, you make me feel like I'm in some cheesy drama."

"I'll uh, try to show my feelings a bit more so be patient with me." Another smile came from the hollow and Ichigo was relieved for the lifted mood.

"Looks like I don't have much of a choice." He slid his hand from Kurosaki's soft hair and smoothed it over his face. It appeared as if he was going to draw near but he just released the teen and was about to step away.

Ichigo looked confused. "Um..." The arrancar didn't use many opportunities to kiss him, but that seemed like the perfect moment.

Looking back at the shinigami's perplexed face, Grimmjow raised a brow. "What is it now?" He tilted his head to the side.

Great, he completely over looked the mood of the moment, Ichigo thought dejectedly and blushed, realizing that this was probably the first time he expected the male to kiss him. "Ah, never mind..." He waved a hand and shook his head, hoping that his face didn't betray him. " It's not important."

"Your all red." Grimmjow announced, to his embarrassment, causing the young soul reaper to look away. A knowing smirk then crossed his devilish features. "You want a kiss?"

"...!" Kurosaki said nothing and steamed in his embarrassment. He didn't want to deny it because he kind of did want one, plus he just promised to be more honest with himself and Grimmjow, but he hated it when they other was so cheeky. He just hoped the espada would understand already.

The smirk widened into a grin. "Is that a yes?" He waited for a response and Ichigo nearly died of embarrassment.

Why is this so difficult? It's just a kiss. With a tsk he scowled and his eyebrows set into their signature frown as he shook his head yes. The only thing he regretted was Grimmjow's toothy grin as he cupped his face and leaned closer.

* * *

A day had passed since he ran into Rukia but Ichigo's mind was anything but settled, she wasn't here for that long, but there was a lot of damage she could do in that time if she found out about what's been going on down in the human world. He especially didn't want her to see Nel, seeing as he realized she didn't seem to notice Grimmjow's fancy gigai. She probably just assumed it was a temporary one, if she noticed at all.

Sighing a heavy sigh and wondering how he was going to deal with this situation, Ichigo walked into his house and slipped off his shoes. "I'm home." He called out, expecting no one to answer.

"Welcome home, fruit of my loins!" was the shout he heard from the living room.

As he saw his dad run to the archway, Ichigo cringed and made a not too pleasant face. "Urgh..." He wished his dad was normal, or the type of parent that was alway away from the house... or an alcoholic. Just anything that didn't make him like himself. He pushed past the bearded older man and looked around the living room. "Where is everyone?" He asked when he noticed the lack of bodies in the room.

His father put an exhasperated hand on his cheek and shook his head. "If by everyone you mean Nel-chan and Grimmjow, they've been wageing a no-holds-barred battle upstairs for the past hour."

Ichigo's intrest piqued and he turned towards the older man with a questioning look. "What do you mean?"

The patriarch of the Kurosaki household did not have to answer, the argument returned at full force and he heard the distinctive voice of a certain argumentative hollow. "WHAT?! What the hell are you saying?! You don't speak to me for a week and now this?!"

Heading over to the stairs, Ichigo looked up in concern. 'What is it now? Grimmjow better not be picking a fight with her...' He reached the top and put a hand on the doorknob, wondering why it was closed since he could hear the shouting through the walls. Ichigo opened the door and stepped through. "Grimmjow you better not be bullying Nel-" He was stopped in his tracks by a finger in his face.

"YOU!"

"Me?"

"You put her up to this, didn't you!"

Ichigo paused to look around at the two for a moment. Grimmjow was scowling with a light tint to his cheeks and ears, Nel stood on the opposite side of him, fists perched upon her small hips, looking unmoveable. His brows lifted in confusion. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"No idea, huh? Then explain it to ME then. Explain to me why she's trying to get me to say this... crap!"

The substitute soul reaper lifted his hands and backed away in retreat. The blue haired hollow seemed more than ready to pounce at him in anger.

"Eeeh?" Nel interrupted the advancement, catching the attention of the two males. She pouted and turned her head away. "Nel doesn't think it's crap."

The situation was odd, and the red head soul reaper scratched his head in bewilderment. "Wait. What is going on? Nel?"

In a fit of childish anger she glared at Grimmjow before turning her wide hazel eyes towards Ichigo. "Nel has a spot that needs ta be filled and she dethided Gwimmjow would be best ta take that place." She turned another glare onto Grimmjow, who immaturely scowled right back. "All he has ta do is say it once and he has the spot forever but... Gwimm is behaving like a stupid dummy."

Ichigo heard his growl of warning but ignored it. "Well... what does she want you to say?"

"Well, uh... you know ...That... ask HER!" He fumbled a bit before finally shouting and Ichigo was becoming frustrated with the childishness.

"All Nel wants ith for Gwimm ta say he loves Nel."

Ichigo lifted his brows in surprise, he never though the young girl would ask something like this of the older male. He always thought she was just content in being close to him, just as she had been with him. "And what is this for?" The smal girl placed her hands over her chest.

"A special place in Nel's heart."

"But... isn't Grimmjow already a special person to you?" Nel looked confused and sad, it made Ichigo almost wish he hadn't asked the question. But she soon recovered and her eyes turned from worry to determination.

"Yes, but Nel needs conthfir-conthnf...fff... Nel wants to make sure.

To have her so insistent, after ignoring Grimmjow for so long, something must have happened to the little girl to make her want this so badly. The look in her eyes and the strength of her stance as she glared at Grimmjow, it was something to be rivaled with at that moment. It awed him but Ichigo also found it amusing that the blue haired Espada had to endure this type of argument again so soon, this time perhaps from a much more worthy opponent. He turned to Grimmjow with a smile, whose eyes seemed to ask what exactly did he think was funny.

"Ne, Grimmjow, just say it."

Those blue eyes widened incredulously. "Huh? That's easy for you to say."

Ichigo's brows rose again. "Oh? And you're a whole lot different from me?" That earned him an indignant look and Kurosaki sighed. "Look, you've already got the part, all you need to do is... audition, per say."

"It's stupid." the hollow grumbled and Ichigo resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Obviously not to her."

Grimmjow looked back at Nel who still glared at him determinately. He scratched the back of his head as he stared at her. "Oi, chibi, you already know, dont cha? Do I really gotta say it?" But the tiny hollow girl shook her head up and down furiously.

"Yep."

"_Sigh_."

There was some amusement sought in watching the two, the way the small girl glared at her guardian, fists drawn to her side, short brows crumpled into a frown. Grimmjow's mouth worked to form the words but all he really managed was a few indignant faces. Minutes passed this way and Ichigo determined that this must have been the reason why the argument went on for so long. It was only three little words, why were they so hard to say? It wasn't as if Grimmjow was confessing to someone...

"I have an idea." He perked in at a critical moment, where Grimmjow was just about to storm away in embarrassment.

"Hnn?" Nel wondered in question, tilting her head to the side.

"Why not create a smaller space between the two of you?" He sat Grimmjow down on the bed forcefully, ignoring the others protests. Then he turned to grab Nel and place him on the arrancar's knee, she looked confused but optimistic, while Grimmjow's uncertainty played plainly on his face. "That way your stance isn't so aggressive Grimmjow and he can say it to only you, Nel?" I hope this works, Ichigo thought, backing away from the two, watching as Nel clapped her hands.

"Yeh, Nel likes that idea!" She turned her face up to Grimmjow.

The previously detached sixth espada looked down at the girl, then back up at the Kurosaki, glaring as he did so but the two just smiled patiently. Ichigo's smirk seemed to be counting on him to do the right thing, as if his expression was telling him that using the words, saying them out loud would not hurt, that they weren't bad. His brows furled with some unknown emotion and he looked back down at Neliel and she grinned at him with her missing teeth. He could have grumbled and fought the issue some more, but it didn't really matter now, did it. He cupped his hands over Nel's small ear and, in the lowest voice he could muster, said the words she wanted to hear.

Afterwords, Nel immediately glomped and snuggled him. "Wah! Nel loves Gwimm too! Itsyugo is next! Like Gwimm, whisper so that only Nel can hear so it will be only for her."

"Huh? Me?" He pointed to himself.

Nel excitedly nodded her head up and down. "Mmm!"

"Oi, chibi, that's no fair, you didn't whisper it so it's not just mine." Grimmjow looked offended and Ichigo laughed a bit while Nel turned her head back to his face.

"Eh? But Itsyugo knows that Nel loves Grimm and Nel loves Itsyugo too, so it's fine." The blue haired male still looked a little disgruntled but didn't say anything else.

After all was said and done, and Neliel nearly choked the life from Ichigo in happiness, he held onto the small girl, with the request that she lay in his arms for a bit longer. Grimmjow watched the scene quietly, scorning the idea that the only reason why Nel had been so distant with him was because she didn't know where she stood in his life or hers for that matter. Where those words so important? Did they really clear everything up so easily? If that was true and it caused so much pain to a spirit ho hasn't felt that way in so long, how was it affecting Ichigo? Was he being honest when he said he didn't know how he felt, or was he just saying it for arguments sake? Grimmjow worried that perhaps, because of the way he has been acting, the red head was getting mixed signals. He looked over at the young shinigami who seemed lost in thought as well.

"Oi, Kurosaki." Brown eyes turned towards him, and though he could still remember the time the brought so much hatred into his spirit, he couldn't fully understand what they did to him now.

* * *

Kyo - There were more shoujo moments in here than need be but I couldn't help it... my fingers just moved that way, besides these two need to start getting a little sweet on each other if I am to bring this fanfiction to a happy ending. Dont worry, this scene will be continued in the following chapter, which might come sooner than you think. I also notice that it has been a few months since I updated and I apologize, I've been depressed, uninspired and family life isn't the best. I'm trying, and I refuse to let this fic roll over and die. PLUS, as an extra little note, my screen cracked not too long ago and I was only able to get it fixed today. Go figure.

Chapter 20: Ello es muy cuidadoso...

Wherein old lives are forgot

New worries are made

And futures seem brighter


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